Fumbling forward
by angelena78
Summary: AU. The Campbell couple has a kid. Parenting isn't as easy as it looks, and being the daughter of Joan and Arthur Campbell isn't always easy either. Follow along as they all try to balance the unpredictable nature of working for the CIA, family life, and the joys of early adolescence.
1. Chapter 1

#1

She stood in the doorway of her parents' office and watched her mother, who at the moment was distracted and looking out the window. "Mom?" Maia called out, staying in the doorway and waiting for her mother to recognize her. Growing up with Joan Campbell as her mother, she knew that when her mother was working, you never knew what kind of mood you'd find her in, so it was better to just be cautious.

Joan shook her head like she'd been mentally somewhere else, and swiveled her chair toward the doorway. "Yes?" she said, smiling at her 10, almost 11 year old daughter. Maia had her father's shockingly blue eyes, but her features and her blonde hair that fell in waves down her back were pure Joan. Looking at her, Joan couldn't help but see the similarities between the two of them, and the similarities weren't just in physical appearance. Maia was cautious and a rule follower, but she was by no means timid. She wanted to feel out situations before jumping in, but had ambitious goals and was good at making plans to achieve them - even if her goals were more about manipulating her parents to let her do something or figuring out how she could improve her tennis game. She was tenacious and committed like Joan, and more than willing to work hard to get what she wanted.

Maia heard her mother acknowledge her, and saw her turn toward her, but still Maia stayed stuck in the doorway.

"Mai?" Joan tried again, "Everything okay?"

"Um yeah. Can we talk when you get a minute? It doesn't have to be now." Maia said, twirling her hair and looking down at the ground.

"Sure, how about now?" Joan said brightly, "Why don't you come all the way in?"

Maia stepped inside the softly lit home office her parents shared. It had two long windows that looked out toward the front yard that sloped down toward the street. Her parents both had desks that were perpendicular to the windows and faced each other, but were about 6 feet apart. Parallel to the windows, and against the same wall as the doorway was a velvety dove gray couch. Maia loved to lounge on that couch and read, or just nap while one or both of her parents were working away on their "off" days. Being close to their activity and their work made her feel close to them. But as she'd gotten older herself, she'd spent less and less time there, and more time at lessons, with friends, and soon she'd be off at summer camp.

Maia settled herself onto the sofa, cross-legged, with her back against the arm. Joan noted how Maia was positioning herself, and knew that when Maia set herself up to avoid eye contact, she was getting ready to say something that made her uncomfortable. Knowing that this was the case, Joan couldn't quite decide whether she should go sit by her daughter to be reassuring, or whether she should stay where she was so that Maia could continue to avoid the eye contact. Before she could make the decision, Maia started talking.

Looking straight ahead at the other (empty) side of the couch, Maia asked her mother, "Why do you send me to sleep away camp in the summer?"

If Joan hadn't been a spy she was sure her mouth would have just dropped open. She had to admit that her spy skills at concealing emotions were constantly tested as a parent, and she found it harder to hide her feelings when she was with her daughter, but she managed to hold it together in that moment and instead ask her daughter, "Do you think we're sending you away? I thought you wanted to go to sleep away camp?"

Maia was quiet for a few moments, and Joan didn't push her. Alike as they were, Joan knew that Maia was probably wrestling with what to say and how to say it, so she gave her the time to work that out in her mind. Finally Maia broke the silence, "I guess I do want to go. I mean," and she paused for another moment, "I asked to go, and it'll be fun, but sometimes I, well it's just, I guess." After another pause, she finally blurted out what she'd probably been wanting to say the whole time, "What if I want to go for you and dad, not for me?"

"Well," Joan started, trying to decide where to begin, "Is that how you feel right now?-that you want to go for me and your dad and not for yourself?"

There was some nodding of the blonde head. Since Maia didn't actually say anything, Joan continued, "Well if you don't want to go, we're not going to make you, okay?"

More nodding.

"Do you want to skip camp this year?" Joan asked her daughter, pushing for more information. Maia had been going to camp since she was 5. First just as a day camper, but when she was 9 she started doing sleep away camp. The first year it was for a week, but this year it was going to be for two weeks. She'd wanted to go and been excited about it, and to be honest she and Arthur were excited to have the house to themselves for two weeks, but making Maia go to camp definitely didn't seem like the right thing to do. Plus it seemed like there was something deeper going on with her. Joan was able to get through all these thoughts because Maia hadn't responded at all about whether she wanted to skip camp this year. No nodding, no talking. Joan studied her daughter from the side she could see, and tried to figure out what was going on with her. When Maia finally turned her head slightly toward her and softly said, "I'm not sure," Joan saw tears in her eyes. She crossed the room, and sat down next to her little girl. Maia pulled her knees up to her chest, and wrapped her arms around her legs, almost as though she was trying to hide her face and emotions from her mother. Joan let her, and just placed her own hand on her daughter's pink-socked feet. "Mai, are all these feelings about camp, or something bigger?"

Joan let the question hang in the air for a minute.

Maia honestly wasn't sure how to respond to that question. Her feelings were about camp, but she also knew they weren't just about camp. She didn't know what to tell her mom, and she wasn't sure her mom would want to hear how she felt - not to mention the fact that she wasn't sure she could verbalize her feelings.

When she didn't respond, Joan looked at her, and reached out, brushing Maia's hair back behind her ears. "Hey, you know you can tell me anything right?"

Maia nodded, but she wasn't totally sure she could tell her mom this.

"Do you think your dad and I want you to go away?" Joan asked, trying to help her daughter share her feelings.

Maia shook her head at first, but then looked up at her mom and with a tear slipping out of her right eye said, "Not go away totally, but a little."

"Oh," Joan said looking down at her own hands, "That's not good is it?"

Maia shook her head no and started to cry in earnest – silently, but the tears were flowing, and Joan could see Maia's little body heaving. "Come here," she said to her daughter, and Maia willingly let her mother pull her onto her lap. Sitting there sideways, Maia buried her head in her mother's shoulder and let herself continue to cry. Joan stroked her hair, and whispered down to her, "Maia, I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm sorry for whatever your dad and I did to make you feel like that, because we don't want you to go away. We love you *so* much. We thought you wanted to go to camp, but we'd never make you go if you didn't want to."

Maia kept crying, but with time Joan could hear her breathing slowing down and becoming more regular. "Shhhh," she whispered to her, kissing the top of her head and trying to soothe her.

"I'm sorry mom," Maia choked out once she had gotten a hold of herself enough to talk.

"You never need to apologize for the way you feel," Joan assured her as she looked her daughter in the eyes, "I'm glad you came to tell me what you were feeling, but I think we should probably talk about why you feel that way so that your dad and I don't continue to make you feel this way."

Maia nodded, and leaned her head back against Joan's shoulder. The two of them sat there in silence for a little while both of them psyching themselves up for the conversation to come, and both contentedly sharing space with each other, and enjoying just being close.

For her part, Joan wasn't sure where to start this conversation. She really wanted to know what it was specifically that she and Arthur were doing to make her daughter think they wanted her to go away to camp. But being a pretty experienced interrogator, Joan knew that it really got you nowhere to ask questions that people couldn't answer, and she imagined that Maia might not be able to pinpoint specific behaviors or things they'd said that made her feel as she did. So, instead Joan started with, "Maia, can you tell me why you would go to camp for me and your dad, even if it wasn't something you really wanted to do?"

Without hesitation, Maia responded, "Because I love you. Because you're my parents. Because I want you to be happy."

"Do you think we're happier when you're not around?" Joan asked, a little anxious about how Maia was going to respond.

"I think you're less worried," Maia said carefully.

"Hm," Joan started, "Can you tell me what you think we're worried about?"

Maia took a deep breath and then said quietly, "Me." And then since her mother didn't ask another question, Maia continued, "I think you worry a lot about me - getting home in time to see me, making sure I'm happy, making sure that you're getting your work done even though you're spending time with me, I think I make your life harder. I hear you talking to daddy sometimes about who is going to pick me up, how someone has to be home for dinner and homework and bedtime, and how it's summer so it's even more important since I'm on vacation. So I thought if I went to camp for two weeks then you guys could have two weeks to not worry about all that and just live your lives." As she finished talking, Maia realized she'd let all that out and never taken a breath in, so she inhaled deeply and let a few more tears drip out. The tears now were a little bit about sadness, but also tears of relief that she'd gotten all these feelings off her chest.

Now it was Joan's turn to take a deep breath. She took couple, and she hugged her daughter closer to her. She wasn't ready to respond yet, she knew she needed to, but she was actually afraid that if she opened her mouth to talk, she'd cry, and she didn't want Maia to feel like she'd made her cry. So Joan just hugged Maia as she pulled herself together. When she was finally ready to talk, Joan kept hugging Maia as she tried to reassure her about how much she was loved. "Mai, You're right. Balancing being a good mom to you with my job is hard, but YOU don't make it hard. You make it worth the challenges. You are my top priority. I love my job too, but you're my top priority. When your dad I talk, or even when we argue about who is doing what when, it's because we want to make sure that you are well taken care of, in spite of the crazy jobs we have. We love you SO much. And sure, our lives would be less complicated for two weeks if you went to camp, but our lives would be so much quieter, and we'd miss you! You keep us on our toes, you make us laugh, you make us stop and do fun things and silly things. You help us remember to be people, not just workers, and to enjoy things in life. So life is more complicated with you in it but it's so much better with you in our lives, we never wish you weren't here." As she talked, Joan realized just how deep these convictions of hers were, and she felt a couple of her own tears slip out. Having Maia had not exactly been planned at the outset, but ultimately having Maia was something that she and Arthur both wanted and looked forward to. Neither of them were sure what kind of parents they would be, but as they went through Joan's pregnancy, they both felt drawn to this little being they'd created and were so excited to meet her when she was born. Raising Maia wasn't without conflict for sure - figuring out how to balance their work and family responsibilities was hard, and Joan often felt like the brunt of it all fell on her. Sometimes it made her angry and she let her frustration out to Arthur when she felt like he wasn't balancing work and family in a way that supported her, but it was never because she wanted Maia less, or wanted her job more. She just wanted Maia to have a happy childhood, and she also wanted to continue to excel at her job. Maybe she couldn't have her cake and eat it too, she was realizing. Seeing Maia so upset and feeling like she and Arthur didn't want her, or saw her as a complication hit Joan hard. She never wanted her daughter to feel anything less than deeply loved, but ensuring that in their reality of her and Arthur's lives was apparently a lot harder than she'd thought, and she'd never thought it would be or was easy. She sighed, and she squeezed Maia a little tighter.

If she'd looked down at her daughter, Joan would have seen that Maia had started to smile a little as Joan talked. Instead, it was Maia who looked up when she felt her mom hug her. Seeing her mother's tears, Maia's brow furrowed and with concern in her voice she asked her mother, "What's wrong?" She wasn't sure she'd ever seen her mother cry. Joan smiled down at Maia, and wiped away her tears. "Nothing sweetheart, I mean I'm sad that you've felt the way you did, but I'm also just remembering how happy your dad and I were when you were born and how happy I still am that you're my daughter."

"Mom," Maia said, "I'm not sure I want to go to camp."

A strangled little laugh came out of Joan, "Yeah. I got that Mai."

"No seriously mom," Maia said, a little more firmly this time, "I'm not sure I want to go, BUT I'm not sure I don't want to go either. I mean I know it'll be fun, and I did want to go, I'm just not sure how to feel."

"Well, you don't have to make a decision right now. You're not supposed to leave for another week. And when the time comes, you can go or not go. Your dad won't be thrilled to drive you all the way there to just bring you back, but if that's what happens, that's what happens. He loves you to death, and he'd do anything for you. So why don't you just think about it, and make the decision when the time comes. No pressure either way, okay?" Joan said, smiling down at her daughter.

"Okay." Maia said as she played with her mother's necklace. "Thanks mom."

Joan didn't say anything in response. She just kissed the little head that was still leaning on her shoulder.


	2. Work Life Balance

"She'll be fine Joan. Stop worrying so much," Arthur tried to say lightly, as he came back into the living room after putting Maia to bed.

"You didn't see her today Arthur," Joan said, lines of worry crossing her face.

"Well, it's been a rough two weeks, but the case is over & we're both back to our normal schedules, so maybe she'll go back to normal too," he said hopefully. Joan always was the worrier, he figured that they were doing their best and that Maia had everything she needed, and so if they were busy and a little MIA sometimes, it would be fine – they tried to make it up to her on weekends when they were around, and by making family vacation a priority every year – 10 solid days of togetherness. 10 days was the magic number because they could be gone for a long enough time that they could really relax and almost be bored enough to be ready to go back to work, but not too long that they really couldn't leave work for that time. 10 days meant a Friday-Sunday vacation – the inclusion of two weekends meant that only 6 days were actual workdays. Come to think of it though, when they started family vacation he really didn't believe Joan that they could both leave work for 6 whole days, but she was insistent. It was another one of those situations where he came home and she had already made plans for them because of something that had happened with Maia, and she was determined to make it work. Maia's babysitter had handed two-year old Maia over Joan and Maia had screamed and cried and reached for the babysitter. That did it for Joan, she knew that she didn't want to be a stay at home mom, that she definitely wasn't cut out for that, but she also didn't want her daughter to feel more attached to her babysitter than to her own mother. They left for vacation 72 hours later. Arthur had been surprised at just how much they all had enjoyed themselves, and that the world didn't explode.

And so family summer vacation became a tradition. They'd gone a lot of places, and since Maia had been 6 she'd been part of the decision-making. They presented her with three places and she got to pick. The process of choosing where to go had become a serious process over the last few years. When she was 8, she had enough opinions and could really contribute to conversations about the pros and cons of places based on her own preferences, and so Joan and Arthur had shifted from suggesting three specific places, to whole countries. France, New Zealand, and England were the choices she had. Maia knew that French was the language in France, and that English was the language in England, but wanted to know what they spoke in New Zealand. When she found out it was English with a population of Maori speakers, she was intrigued – she knew nothing about the Maori. And so they'd all looked up information about the Maori and learned about them. They also looked into what they could do and see in France and England. Initially, Maia had been partial to France because she had been watching Beauty and the Beast a lot, and wanted to see French castles. But as they learned more together about New Zealand, and that they had some spectacularly fun playgrounds, she decided that was for her. That plus they had a lot of high adrenaline activities – and she wanted to be sure to do them. So – when she was 8 they'd gone to New Zealand. When she was 9 it was Utah (at her suggestion – she wanted to see the arches). This year they hadn't been yet, but in a month and a half they were on their way to Chile. Arthur sighed a little; maybe they just needed vacation to be closer. Or maybe he did really need to take Joan's worries seriously, she'd known what was up years ago, and fixed it with family vacation and shifting her own hours around a little so she could come home earlier. As a result, she went in early, leaving Arthur in charge of breakfast and getting Maia off to school, and then she came home by 5:30 every night so that she could help with homework and spend time with Maia each evening before Arthur got home around 7.

Deciding he should really seek Joan's counsel, rather than just try to make her feel better, or at least less bad, he jumped in, "Okay. So what do you think we should do?"

From her perch on the sofa she looked at him over in the chair across from her. With an almost imperceptible eye roll, she said, "So you're going to take me seriously now?"

"I always take you seriously," he said, trying to get her to smile as he grinned at her.

"Yeah right," she said.

"Hey I always listen, I just don't always take your advice. But I'm a man, I'm supposed to just do stuff sometimes without having to think it all through," Arthur tried to explain.

"Uh huh, and you wonder why we end up in situations sometimes. Seriously Arthur, thinking is actually important," Joan said with an irritated tone, but not able to totally suppress a smile. Her husband was a source of frustration for her but also a really good compliment to her seriousness and anxiety.

"See – it's only sometimes we end up in situations, so we're all good. Plus I have you to get me back on track when I mess up," Arthur said, smiling at his wife.

Joan rolled her eyes obviously now, and with a sigh said, "Well then listen up Arthur, this time we really need to do something. I don't think she's just going to go back to normal, whatever that is. I think that our normal maybe wasn't all that healthy. What do you think we can do about trying to not just disappear on her for 2 weeks at a time when things get crazy at work?" Joan actually really wanted to know what he thought they could do, because she couldn't think of much. Their jobs were unpredictable and really time intensive – and since everything was so classified, it wasn't like they could do much work from home. But maybe Arthur could have an idea – and as much as she hated to admit it, he was in charge, so he could make things happen that she couldn't.

Arthur thought for a minute, and finally said, "I'm honestly not too sure. I mean we can't do much about the times when we're in a crisis response situation, we're all just going to have to live with that reality, but maybe we should think about flexing some of your time, so that at least in the summer you could be home one day a week or sometime – barring anything that requires you to be in the office."

Joan sighed again, she knew that it would have to be her time that was flexed because he was in charge of her time, his not so much. He still had people to report to. But she couldn't help but be a little bothered by the fact that the balancing tended to always fall to her. It wasn't that she didn't want the one-day a week in the summer to be home with Maia. That sounded great to her. It was more that when they tried to balance work and family, it never was really about balancing work and family, but her work and family.

Arthur watched his wife intently and knew what she was thinking, but he couldn't think of a better alternative. "Joan I know, I wish I could think of a better option, or one that got me to help you out more, but I just don't think that's really possible."

"I know," she said, and she did know, and she did believe him, it just didn't make it better.

They sat across from each other in silence for a little, not an angry silence, but one that was contemplative. Both of them wished that they could do better for each other, but they were also grateful that they were able to have this discussion without fighting. Over the years they'd certainly had their fair share of fights about whose responsibility Maia was, or why Joan was always the one having to change her schedule or work less so that a parent could be present for Maia. Over time they'd both seen that they were each doing their best, and there were just some constraints and realities that made it impossible to find the perfect solution. That continually bothered Joan, but Arthur tried to tell her that they didn't need to be the perfect family, just the good enough family. She hated that line, because it sounded like such a cop out, a way to rationalize being mediocre. And being mediocre really wasn't something that Joan could stand for at all. But like other things, with time she had come to see that it wasn't a justification for being okay, it was a recognition of the ways in which they were imperfect and yet still striving to be good for each other. Still – perfect would be preferable, but if they could achieve good she supposed it would have to do.

"Do you think maybe we should tell her what we actually do?" Joan ventured, as Arthur's eyes went wide and he shook his head.

"I mean, I know she's younger than I thought she'd be when we read her in, but she's mature for her age, and I think knowing what we're doing and why we have such chaotic and unpredictable schedules might help her feel like it's not her, it's our jobs," Joan reasoned out loud. She still wasn't sure if this was the right thing to do, but she thought maybe it would be a good idea.

"I don't know Joan, she's TEN. That's a lot to put on her, do you think she can really keep that secret?" he asked. He really didn't want to have the discussion with Maia, but he also didn't want to ask her to be okay with what they were doing when she seemed already upset with them.

"She's not upset with us," Joan said, reading Arthur's mind, "she's upset about the situation, about how she feels like we are more dedicated to our jobs than her, and seriously I'd be pissed if my mother was more dedicated to being a banker than to me, maybe she just needs to know more so that she knows why it's all so hard."

"I'm not sure about this Joan, what if she freaks out?" Arthur asked.

"I expect she will," Joan said as if it was that was definitely a given fact in how Maia would react, "But that's fine – it's our job to handle it. I mean didn't your family freak out?—and they were adults."

"Right – they were adults – she's TEN," Arthur responded, "She's too young."

"I know she's ten, Arthur, but she'll be 11 in two months, and I don't think it's about age, it's about maturity and about maintaining our relationship with her – in a good way," Joan reasoned.

Arthur sighed and rubbed his face with his hand, but didn't say anything else immediately. Joan let him sit there and think things through. She knew that he was the kind of person to think he knew all the answers, and that he'd need time to come around to her ideas and realizing that she was right. So she just settled into the sofa a little more and waited him out. Finally he spoke again, "So what do you plan to tell her? How much are we going to read her in?"

With a smile Joan told him, "I figured we'd start just by telling her that we need to tell her a secret and talk to her about how we don't work where we say we do, and that if we tell her where we work she'll have to keep it a secret from everyone. We need her to commit to that before we go any further, but we should also explain that we want to tell her – if she wants to know – because it might help explain our work-life balance. Then I think we should also let her know that we have to say that we have cover jobs that we do actually work at sometimes, but that we can't say where we work because the work we do could get people hurt that don't deserve to be hurt – we're going to need to explain covert ops in terms of rescuing people and preventing bad things from happening since she is only 10. I'm going to leave you to come up with some examples in case she asks, but you've got to share them with me ahead of time Arthur – we don't want to scare her too much." With that she glared at him to make sure she understood he was serious.

"Sure sure Joan. That's fine. But you're really worried about me scaring her, don't you think it's going to be scary enough to learn that your parents work for the CIA." Arthur said.

"Ar-thur," Joan responded, "That's unavoidable – we don't need to scare her further than that. So after we tell her that, we tell her about how this all is related to our crazy schedules, okay?"

"Okay," Arthur said, still a little worried, "You've really thought this all through haven't you?"

"You have to have a plan," Joan replied slyly, "And I've got some back ups in case it goes to hell."

Arthur smiled at his wife, and then cross the space between them to sit down next to her. "You're too good for me you know?" he told her.

"I know," she told him. And with that, he pulled her towards him and kissed her gently.

She let him, and she kissed him back, but as he went for more, she pulled back. "Wait Arthur, we need a plan for timetable. When do you think we should talk with Maia about all this?"

Arthur rolled his eyes at her, "Right now Joan? Right now you have to move on to timetables for talking with our own kid?"

"Yes – we can't leave business unfinished before we move on to – you know – other things," she told him matter of factly.

"How about this weekend? That way we have time with her afterwards," he suggested.

"Friday night then?" she said smiling at him.

"If you already knew when you wanted to talk to her, why'd you ask me?" He wondered aloud.

"Because I wanted us to make the decision together," Joan said, smiling and leaning in to kiss him. He didn't go back to the discussion, he knew when it was time to put the work away, and that time was now.


	3. Flashbacks and Fears

Rolling over, Joan realized that Arthur wasn't in bed anymore. "Where did he go?" she wondered as she glanced at the clock. It was 4AM, too early for him to have gotten up early, and too late for him to still be up doing something. She closed her eyes, too tired to think too much harder about the situation. When sleep didn't come, she dragged herself out of bed to look for her husband. Slipping a robe on, she exited their bedroom, and made it only a few steps down the hall before she spotted him, standing in the doorway of Maia's room, just watching her sleep. Sidling up to him, and trying not to surprise him too much, she slipped her arm around his waist, and joined him in watching their daughter sleep. She looked so peaceful. Maia had always been a stomach sleeper. Even as an infant she'd scream until they set her on her tummy. Once settled into bed that way, the only thing that would move between then and morning would be her head, which would occasionally turn from side to side. Arthur had been worried about Maia's still sleeping patterns, and would creep out of bed in the night to go and check on her, just to make sure she was still breathing. Joan thought it was cute that he was so worried about their daughter. She figured her daughter was just an efficient sleeper. The more still she was, the more restful her sleep likely was, and if she kept that up over time, Maia probably wouldn't need too much sleep to be well-rested. Joan liked that idea—not because she was planning to keep her daughter from sleeping, but she figured it would help Maia make time to do all the studying she hoped she'd do to be a doctor or something like that.

Joan smiled in the darkness as she and Arthur stood there. Standing in Maia's doorway, she recalled their first weeks with Maia, and in light of the conversation she and Arthur had earlier, he was thinking about the same thing.

_Flashback_

They'd brought her home from the hospital and set her up in the same room, though then it was painted light gray and pale pink and set up as a nursery. Joan had been surprised at how exhausted she was after the birth – even days later – and so as she tried to squeeze in some naps between feedings, Arthur seemed glued to the floor by Maia's crib. She'd walked in on him for the zillionth time snapping pictures of their sleeping baby.

"Do you think that the reason why she barely ever opens her eyes is because every time she does, you take a picture and the flash goes off in her eyes?" Joan asked her husband, chuckling as she rubbed Arthur's shoulder and joined him in leaning over their daughter's crib.

He laughed a little and told her, "Nah. I think that babies just don't open their eyes much. Plus, don't you want to have pictures of her first views of the world?"

"I don't know about views of the world, that might be a little dramatic. It's just a view of her bedroom Arthur," Joan said smiling, and not knowing then if she was smiling at her daughter or her husband.

"Well right now this place is her whole world," He said, "We should capture that before it all changes and the world becomes big and scary," he reasoned.

"Wow. Pessimist huh? You don't think we'll be able to make the world exciting and fun for her instead?" Joan asked.

"Sure, for awhile. But come on Joan, with our jobs – between the hours we work and the danger involved, she'll learn soon enough that the world is exciting and fun, but also scary and dangerous," Arthur said, a little sadly.

"Good thing we're trained operatives then," Joan responded trying to encourage her husband, "Together we should be able to protect her from just about anything that comes her way."

Arthur looked over at his wife and smiled at her. He hoped that she was right, but all the information he was privy to through his job made it hard for him to trust her completely. Still, her marveled at her ability to be optimistic when he knew she knew just about as much as he did.

_End Flashback_

Arthur leaned over and softly kissed his wife as they both continued to watch Maia. Maia was sleeping peacefully now, and he was sad that he and Joan were going to purposefully rock her world with the news they had to share with her. But for tonight and the next two days she was still their innocent little girl. Reaching for Joan's hand, he gave it a light squeeze as he took it and led her back down the hall to their bedroom.


	4. The Family Business

"Hey," Joan said as she opened Arthur's office door.

"Hey!" Arthur replied, smiling at his wife as he looked up from the papers he was reading. This past week had been much calmer than the last two, but when you spend two weeks on a high stakes operation, the amount of paperwork, not to mention regular work, just piles up, and so he'd felt like he'd been chasing deadlines all week. Arthur was relieved it was Friday, and was always happy to see his wife smiling in his doorway.

"So," Joan started as she sashayed into his office and closed the door behind her, "It's Friday."

"Thank goodness. I'm really looking forward to a weekend with you and Maia," he replied - and he really looked grateful that it was the weekend.

"Me too," she said, smiling, and wrapping her arms around him. "But - you didn't forget what we have to do tonight right?"

Sighing he leaned down and kissed her gently, and then looked at her with his baby blue eyes, "Do we have to?" he asked as if he was a little boy trying to get out of an unpleasant task.

"Yes," Joan said firmly, breaking away from him & looking at him seriously, "And it has to be tonight."

Arthur smiled at Joan again, "Yes Ma'am," he said, saluting her.

"Stop," Joan said, but her voice wasn't firm any longer, she was back to joking and flirting.

"Don't worry about me Joan; I'm behind you 100%," he assured her.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Joan told him, "I need you WITH me, not BEHIND me." She spoke firmly but quietly. She wished he would just know this about her, but she'd given up expecting it years ago. Sometimes she just had to tell him what she wanted. It had taken her a long time to be okay with that, but when it came to parenting she really tried to make sure she swallowed her pride and did what was going to be most efficient and best for their relationship with Maia, and for Maia's development. She didn't always live up to this goal, but she tried to be more explicit with Arthur than she'd been before they'd had Maia.

"Joan," Arthur said to her softly and in a way that he hoped wasn't patronizing, "I'm with you. I'll always be with you, but this is your plan. I want you to be able to make the calls. I trust you."

She smiled at him, and let him know she was pleased with his answer when she leaned in, kissed him quickly, and said, "Thank you."

She turned to leave then so that she could get home at her regular time. She wanted to make sure Maia felt attended to, loved, and part of a good family. Joan figured nothing was more quintessentially family than family dinner that they'd cooked together, so she needed to get going if they were going to be close to ready by the time Arthur got home. "See you at 7:00 right?" she asked - more as a reminder than a question.

"I'll be there," he said to her as she reached for the door handle. As her hand grasped the knob, Arthur called out to her, "Joan, it'll be fine."

She nodded at him, her eyes twinkling. One thing that was great about Arthur was that he always tried to make her feel like she was a good mother. Even though some things about him were maddening, she really never could say that he wasn't encouraging.

* * *

Unlocking the front door, Joan took a deep breath and psyched herself up to be cheery so that Maia wouldn't guess that she was nervous about anything. As she was putting down her bag and running her hands through her hair, Maia came bounding into the foyer, closely followed by her babysitter, Kelly.

"Hey sweetheart! Hi Kelly," Joan greeted them both.

"Mom! Guess what?" Maia asked her mother, her blue eyes sparkling.

"What?" Joan asked her smiling at her daughter's enthusiasm, and really having absolutely no idea what she was being asked to guess about.

"Kelly is going to run a 5K in a month, and I want to run with her. Kids can run in it too!" Maia told her mother, "Can I? Can I?" Maia looked expectantly up at her mother.

"Sure. That should be fine. I mean we'll need to look at the calendar, but yeah if you really want to run 3 miles your dad and I will definitely support you!" Joan told her bouncing daughter.

"Thanks Mom!" Maia cried out, throwing her arms around Joan to hug her, before jumping up and down in front of her babysitter, "Kelly we're going to run together! Maybe we can run together sometimes when you're here!" Maia had always been an active kid, and had been involved in sports since she was little. She was on the local swim team, she took dance lessons, and she played tennis. Joan and Arthur used to run a lot together, but in trying to coordinate schedules around Maia, that had become more of a rarity than a regular occurrence. Still Joan believed that running was the best way to stay in shape, and she liked to be able to lose herself in the mechanics of running, so she made the time to run a few times each week. When Maia was little Joan would run and push Maia in the stroller. And when Maia got older, sometimes she'd go with her mom - but Maia was always on a bike or skates. Joan liked the idea of her daughter becoming a runner, maybe they could go together. But then she wondered if Maia thought that she'd like her to be a runner. "Get it together Joan," Joan silently chided herself as she watched her daughter hugging Kelly and appearing genuinely excited about running together.

"So - besides Maia deciding to become a runner, how did today go?" Joan asked Kelly.

"Great Mrs. Campbell," Kelly told her, "Maia's a great kid, we always have a good time together."

"Thanks, I'm glad she's good for you. Anything I need to know from the day otherwise?" Joan asked as she handed Kelly a check.

"Not really. When I made Maia lunch I noticed that you're running a little low on almond milk, and Maia's friend Lexie's mom wanted to see if Maia could come over after swim practice next week - but I wrote everything down in the note I left you in the kitchen." Kelly said as she mentally reviewed the note to make sure she didn't forget anything.

"Okay then," Joan said, "Thanks so much Kelly!" Kelly had been Maia's summer babysitter for the last four years, and they had a really good rapport. Kelly had always been exceptional with all the details, which Joan appreciated, and really great with Maia - which both Joan and Arthur loved. Kelly had also just finished her first year of college, and so the only thing Joan and Arthur worried about with Kelly was that she'd decide she needed an internship or something and would have to stop babysitting for them.

"You're welcome Mrs. Campbell. Have a good evening," Kelly said as she let herself out the front door.

Joan looked around after saying goodbye to Kelly and realized that Maia wasn't standing there anymore. "Mai?" Joan called.

"Yes mom!" Maia called back as she bounded back down the hall toward the foyer.

"Nothing, I was just wondering where you ran off to," Joan told her as she checked out the outfit her daughter had changed into, "What's with this outfit?" she asked her - trying hard not to make a judge-y face as she looked her daughter up and down.

"I'm a runner mom!" Maia told her mother as if it was totally obvious.

"Wow. I didn't know that runners wore tutus and Wonder Woman t-shirts," Joan mused as she truly wondered where Maia got this idea.

"They do when they race," Maia explained as she told her mother about how the race that she and Kelly would be running was one where you wore costumes and silly outfits, and so this was her silly outfit.

"I see," Joan said finally getting it, "Now - that's an awesome outfit for the race, but we need to go to the grocery store so can you run back to your room and change into non-race day clothes so we can get going?"

"Okay," Maia said running off toward her room.

Joan smiled to herself as she went to change out of her work clothes. Her daughter was definitely spirited.

* * *

By the time Arthur walked through the front door, Joan and Maia had put together a feast - complete with a yellow cake with pink frosting at Maia's request. As they gathered around the table to eat, the three of them had easy conversation with each other. Sometimes the conversation was directed at Maia's specific interests and activities - like why she wanted to be runner. Other parts of the conversation were more Joan-Arthur conversations about politics, but one thing that both Joan and Arthur would give themselves credit for parenting-wise was how purposefully they tried to always include Maia in all dinner table conversations. So even when the conversation was about domestic or international politics, Joan and Arthur would spar a bit, but then one of them would explain the issue in a way that Maia could grasp - and both of their sides. Sometimes some of the nuances were lost, but the idea was that Maia was introduced to politics as something that could be debated and where there could be multiple possible good (or bad) options, and that you needed to figure out what you believed and why you thought that was something good to believe in or work for. After the explanations Joan and Arthur would always ask Maia what her opinions were, and they'd press her about why she thought what she did. When the questioning started, it was always serious, but never critical. Joan and Arthur both wanted to raise their daughter to be a critical thinker, but believed that you couldn't get there by being critical of her ideas or opinions - at least not while she was still learning to how to support her ideas. Maia definitely took after her more socially liberal mother, and so Arthur imagined that if that continued then at some point he and Maia would go head to head, but not for years yet. For now Joan and Arthur both made the political discussions and debates fun for Maia because they were so supportive and really quite curious about what she was thinking and how she was thinking. And not so secretly, both Arthur & Joan thought Maia was smart - and Arthur especially liked to see her intelligence at work and then act amazed at the way she was thinking. Family dinner wasn't an every night occurrence in the Campbell household, but Joan and Arthur did try to make it a priority at least a few nights a week - unless they were on some crazy case - and if they could do it every night they definitely would. Time passed quickly as they sat around the table discussing different things the US could or should do in response to the crisis in Syria, and so Joan found herself totally surprised when she caught a glimpse of the clock and saw that they'd been at the table for an hour and half. They'd been long done eating, but still had yet to have Maia's pink frosted cake. Seeing the time, and knowing that they should get into the conversation they needed to have before it got too late, Joan got up and started clearing the plates. Arthur helped her, and Joan sent Maia to go and get dessert plates so that they could have her cake.

As Maia proudly showed her dad the pink-with-sugar-candy-daisy-cake that she "made," Joan took a few deep breaths and tried to center herself as she got ready to share her real work identity with her daughter. On the one hand, it's possible that this wouldn't be a big deal to her daughter, or that she wouldn't think much of it yet. But still, revealing her "true" self to anyone was hard for Joan, and telling her daughter that she'd been lying to her was something that she was having trouble feeling OK about telling a child she'd worked hard to raise to always tell the truth - no matter what. Well, as she thought about it that way, perhaps that's exactly why she should tell Maia - because it was the truth and they tell the truth to each other no matter what.

As Maia talked about the cake, Arthur stole glances at Joan and could see she was psyching herself up for the big reveal, so he kept peppering Maia with questions about her decoration choices, why yellow cake when his favorite was chocolate, etc. He wanted to make sure that Joan was all in by the time they started the conversation. When he noticed Joan smile at him, he knew it was time to go. "Hey Maia, you ready to the cut the cake?" he asked his little girl.

"YES!" she exclaimed. She was always up for cake - especially her favorite yellow cake with PINK homemade frosting. Her mom was a good cook and a good baker, but as a general rule, the Campbell family only had cake on special occasions. Maia had no idea what today's occasion was, but she wasn't going to ask any questions. Her mom said they could have anything she wanted for dessert, and that was just something no kid in their right mind would question.

As Joan started to cut the cake, she realized that they didn't have forks, "Mai honey, can you run into the kitchen and get us each a dessert fork?" Joan asked her.

"Sure mom," Maia replied as she hopped up and headed toward the silverware drawer.

"And Mai, when you come back your dad and I have something serious we need to talk to you about over dessert," Joan called after her daughter - more for her own benefit than for Maia's. Once she put it out there that they had something to talk about, she couldn't back out.

When she heard her mother say that they needed to have a serous discussion, Maia's stomach did a few flip flops. "What did they want to talk to her about?" she wondered. She couldn't think of anything she'd done wrong recently, or long ago that they would have just found out about. Still - it was never good to be told that your parents needed to have a serious discussion with you. She picked up 3 dessert forks and walked back to the table in a much more somber mood than she'd left it a few moments before.

Maia slipped back into her seat, and handed a fork to each of her parents, "Uh. Mom, am I in trouble?" she asked them quietly and without making eye contact with either of her mother or her father.

They both quickly responded that she wasn't at all in trouble, they just had something that they needed to talk about with her. Maia nodded, and looked visibly relieved, "Phwew," she said as she attacked her cake with her fork.

Arthur looked at Joan who looked back at him, and so Maia, with her mouth still full of cake was the one to start the conversation, "So what are we talking about?"

Joan smiled at her daughter, took a deep breath and started talking. "Well you know the conversation you and I had the other day about camp?

Maia nodded. Joan noted the concerned look on Maia's face and quickly continued talking, "I've been thinking a lot about what you shared with me. You were right that your dad and I do worry about you, but we worry about you because we want what is best for you. We believe that what's best for you - or what would be ideal - would be if we were both always able to be home to have dinner like we are tonight, and that we could always come to everything at your school, or for all the stuff you do like dance and tennis. And we'd prefer to always be able to be home to tuck you into bed at night. But it's hard for us to always be able to live up to our ideals."

Maia watched her mother seriously as she was speaking, and Maia wondered to herself where this was going. It seemed like it was all stuff she already knew. Sometimes she was mad or sad that her parents missed stuff - like when they both missed her dance recital two years ago, or when her teacher mentioned that her dad had up and left in the middle of back-to-school night last year. And Maia definitely missed her parents when they weren't home for bedtime. She really liked Kelly, but when it came to bedtime - especially during the school week - Maia preferred to see her parents then. Still - it wasn't like Maia didn't know that parents had good intentions. Interrupting she smiled at her mother and said, "Mom - I know all this. I know you and daddy love me. I know that you try. It's OK. I'm nearly a teenager - maybe in a few years I'll be glad to have so much alone time."

Joan smiled weakly at Maia's words. "Maybe - but I think I'd actually prefer it if you pushed us away than you just got OK with us being away." She stopped there because she honestly wasn't sure what direction to go in that moment. Arthur observed what was going on and stepped in, "Mai - I think what your mom is trying to say is that she and I are really sorry when we miss stuff of yours whether it's a performance or just spending an evening with you."

"I know," Maia cut in. But before Maia could continue Joan cut back in, "Maia I'm glad you're understanding, but after listening to you the other day I don't think you should always have to be as understanding as you are."

Maia looked at her quizzically; was her mother really telling her she was allowed to be angry or frustrated? That was definitely not her mother's normal reaction to frustration Maia expressed, in fact Maia could only recall her mother telling her she could be frustrated, but she needed to be polite and graceful on the outside even if she was frustrated inside. What was going on?

"What I mean is that you deserve your dad and I around more than we are, but even though you deserve it we can't always be here. And we can't always be here because of our jobs, but I also don't want you to think that I'm always just arbitrarily picking work over you when I stay late or miss out on spending time with you for a few days or a week at a time. Okay?" Joan explained to her daughter.

"Uh. Mom, what are you talking about?" Maia said - truly confused about where the new information was, or what her mom was trying to tell her.

"Maia - I haven't been truthful with you about what my job really is. I always - well your dad and I always intended to tell you one day, but we thought it would be when you were older than you are now. Your dad and I have talked and we think that maybe you deserve to know about what we both really do, and that knowing that might help you understand why we sometimes can't be here. But if we tell you this information, then you can't tell anyone. It's very important that if you know this information you keep it a secret. You can always talk about it with me and your dad, but you can't talk about it with anyone else." Joan said - emphasizing the part of about Maia not being able to tell anyone.

"Mom, you're scaring me," Maia said quietly and looking truly a little terrified.

"I don't want you to be afraid, but I do want you to be very very clear on the fact that if we tell you about our work that you cannot, under any circumstances, talk to anyone about it. You're a really good kid and your dad and I think that knowing this might be helpful, but we want you to understand just how important the secrecy of our work is. Do you want us to tell you about our work? You can say yes or no and we'll respect your choice; we just want to give you the option. And if you choose no now, you can change your mind and ask us about it later. Okay?" Joan explained, her tone softening as she asked her daughter about whether or not she really wanted to know about the family business.

Maia heard her mother, but wasn't sure what to do. The three people sat around the table in silence for a few moments with both of the adults exchanging quick glances and watching their daughter. Twirling a strand of blonde hair, Maia looked from her mother to her father and back again before she asked, "Can I think about it for a minute?"

"Of course! Sure!" Arthur and Joan responded simultaneously, and so talking over each other completely and making it hard to figure out what either of them said. Maia smiled at her parents and not only left the table, but left the kitchen. Arthur looked at Joan, and she looked back at him - both of them surprised that Maia had just left.

"Where did she go?" Arthur asked his wife.

"Seriously Arthur? I have no idea," Joan replied - why did he always think he knew exactly what their daughter was doing?

"Do you think we should go after her?" he asked.

Joan shook her head. "No. She asked us for a minute to think. We need to respect that. If she doesn't come back soon I'll go look for her. I'm the one who created this situation."

"Okay," Arthur said as he clasped his wife's hand and gave it a little squeeze. In response Joan turned to her husband and gave him a genuine smile. "I hope we're doing right by her," she said quietly as she dropped Arthur's gaze.

With another little squeeze to her hand, Arthur tried to reassure her, "She can't have a more thoughtful mother, it'll all turn out okay Joan."

Joan whispered a thank you and then the duo just sat together, feeling each other's presence but not really knowing what to say. Minutes ticked by, and just as Joan was going to get up and find her, Maia appeared in the doorway. Both Arthur and Joan's head snapped to attention when she reappeared. "Hey there," Arthur called out to her, smiling broadly in the hopes of putting her at ease.

Maia didn't actually come all the way back into the kitchen. Standing in the doorway on the other side of the room - a full 18 feet away from her parents - she gave her dad a quick smile of acknowledgement but didn't say anything right away. As Arthur looked at his little girl, blonde hair falling over her shoulders in a way that was shampoo commercial ready, long legs sticking out from under a navy blue ruffled skirt that came to just above her knees, and a serious look on her face he couldn't help but see how much Maia looked like a miniature, tween version of Joan. She had her mother's personality too and thinking of that gave Arthur pause. Joan versus Maia was basically Joan versus mini-Joan, and he was suddenly not that sure how this conversation would turn out. Both of them were quiet and pensive. They perseverated on issues, interactions, and ideas. They were not quick actors, but when they decided what they wanted heaven help you if you tried to get in the way.

"Hey," Maia finally said quietly as she fiddled with the charm on the necklace she was wearing.

"We weren't sure if you were coming back," Arthur told her as Joan glared at him. "What your father means to say is that we're happy you're back," Joan said to her daughter.

"I wasn't sure if I was," Maia said softly. Joan nodded at her, encouraging her to continue and telling her, "That's understandable."

There was more silence in the room. Arthur opened his mouth to speak, but Joan glared at him again. She knew he was always tempted to fill silences, but that Maia and she sometimes just needed time to process and decide what they felt and wanted to say. Joan didn't want Arthur to get in the way of Maia's thinking at this point. When Maia still said nothing Joan finally asked her if she had any questions she wanted to ask. Maia seemed to hear her, but still didn't speak right away. In a tiny voice Maia responded saying, "I think so."

"Okay," Joan coaxed her, "You can ask us anything." Pausing there and waiting to see what her daughter had to ask, she watched Maia fiddle with her necklace and bite her lip as she presumably thought over what she wanted to ask - all without ever making eye contact with her parents.

Lifting her head up and looking at her parents, Maia finally asked her parents, "Why did you want to wait until I was older?"

"Well," Joan started, "I think we thought that we'd be able to protect you longer from the ways our jobs impact you. And it's a lot to ask you to keep a secret of ours, and so we didn't want to burden you with that until you were older."

Maia nodded and dropped eye contact again. "Do you think it'll be hard to keep your secret?" she asked her parents very quietly.

"Sometimes. Because it's just hard to keep secrets, but when you feel like it's hard you can always talk to me or your dad," Joan told her, "We've always wanted you to be able to tell the truth no matter what, and that means telling us when things are hard for you, because we'll want to try to help you out. But I don't think you'll be tempted to tell people all the time if that's what you mean."

Maia nodded again.

"These are good questions Mai," Joan said to her daughter, trying to help her feel more at ease. "Are there other things you want to know?"

"Yes," Maia said, suddenly seeming more in control of her emotions. She looked at her parents and asked them pointedly, "Are you guys criminals?"

A smile broke out across Joan's face and Arthur chuckled, "No. Definitely not," they both replied.

"Good," Maia said also visibly relieved. And finally she crossed the room and came to sit at the table again. "Are you guys spies or something?" she asked.

Joan and Arthur exchanged a look with each other. "How'd you know?" Arthur asked, marveling at Maia's quick guess.

"Seriously?!" Maia said, clearly stunned, "You guys are spies?! For who?"

"Well we're not spies anymore," Joan explained, "but we were when we were younger." Before she continued, Joan looked at her daughter, and lifted her chin up so that they were making eye contact. "Hey - if we keep going with this conversation we're going to need you to agree to keep what you hear between the three of us. Can you do that?"

Maia nodded solemnly.

"I'm going to need you to really promise," Joan said kindly but firmly.

"I promise mom," Maia told her - equally as firmly.

"Okay then," Joan said. And then she and Arthur launched in. They explained their jobs, and that while they weren't spies anymore they were involved in directing spies in gathering information. They explained that while Arthur had a public job and so his job wasn't a secret, her job was more covert. They discussed how Joan's job was more covert because it was about protecting Americans in America, and so it was touchy because the CIA wasn't a law enforcement agency like the police or the FBI, and so while her mom's division performed a critical set of tasks, they weren't really talked about. Maia listened with wide eyes, and felt like she was in some sort of spy movie. Her parents talked about how when they missed out on things with her it was because something big was happening and they had to be at work to keep people safe. And when they finally finished, they turned to Maia to see if she had any questions. There was so much information though, that Maia really couldn't think of any questions. She tried to think up a couple, but mostly she just felt tired. She was happy that her parents told her all of this - it made her feel like a grown up. But it was a lot to learn that her mom didn't really work at the World Bank - well sometimes she did, but it was her pretend job. Her real job was directing spies at the CIA.

"Are you okay?" Joan asked her gently.

"Yeah," Maia responded, smiling at her mom, "I think it's just a lot to think about. But it's pretty cool - you guys are like James Bond!"

"Something like that," Joan said grinning at her daughter.

"Mom," Maia asked after a minute, "Have you killed people?"

Joan nodded feeling awful having to admit to her daughter that she'd ended other peoples' lives. "But your mother never killed anyone who wasn't either going to kill her or hurt lots of innocent people," Arthur interjected wanting to make sure that Maia knew that her mother wasn't some sort of cold blooded killer.

"What did it feel like to shoot someone?" Maia asked.

Joan thought about her answer for a minute. There was something completely heart breaking about having to tell your pre-teen daughter what it's like to kill someone. But she wanted to be sure that she answered her daughter's questions. "Well it doesn't feel good. Sometimes it's felt like a relief because I was scared that I was going to die otherwise. But mostly it feels like a lot of sound all around you, and a jolt. It feels awful to kill people and I don't like to do it, but I also want to make sure I always make it home to the people I love," Joan explained trying not to say anything about killing people in ways that weren't shooting them. For now she was happy to leave Maia thinking that all of the deaths she's caused were by shooting.

"I'm not sure I could kill someone," Maia said.

"And we're all glad about that," Arthur replied lightly, "If you thought you could kill someone we'd be worried. I don't think any good people think about killing people or want to kill anyone. Sometimes you just have to - well we have to. You definitely do not have a reason to kill anyone."

Maia smiled at her dad, "So you're saying death is for you guys, not for me?"

"Precisely," Arthur said as he smiled at Maia.

"Okay," Maia said, "That's cool with me."

"Anything else?" Joan asked her.

Maia thought for a minute, and then said, "Not right now. But I can ask more later if I think of stuff?"

"For sure," Joan told her.

"Cool. Then I'm good for now," Maia said, ending the conversation. Arthur then sent her off to get ready for bed telling her it was way past her bedtime. Maia looked at the clock and saw it was 10:15. "Dad I think you're being dramatic. It's only 10:15 - it's like 15 minutes past my bedtime! Plus it's the weekend!"

Arthur gave her a look, "Fine then - it's way past my bedtime." As he spoke he couldn't keep a straight face, and Maia caught him trying to hold back a smile. She got up and kneeled on her chair so she could lean across the table and kiss her dad on the nose. After pecking him on the nose she told him, "Fine. I'll go get ready for bed so you old people can get your beauty rest."

"Hey, be careful who you're insulting," Arthur jokingly scolded her, "you just found out we're spies - if we get unhappy with you we could kill you without leaving a single clue that it was us."

Joan got a horrified look on her face as she slapped Arthur's arm telling him, "Seriously? Why would you say that to her?" But Maia wasn't the least bit phased. As she was skipping out of the kitchen she just called over her shoulder, "Yeah right. You know you love me too much to kill me!"

Arthur grinned when he heard her, and Joan breathed a sigh of relief. They'd all survived the conversation and Maia seemed to be in a good space with all the news. Arthur put his arm around his wife, and kissed her on the cheek. "Good work tonight," he told her.

"Thanks," she said getting up to start clearing the table and loading the dishwasher.

"Hey," Arthur said, coming up to the sink with more plates, "You go put Maia to bed, I'll do the clean up here." Smiling at her husband, Joan dried her hands, kissed him softly on the lips and then went off to put Maia to bed. It had been a pretty perfect evening - or at least as perfect as it comes when you're telling your kid that you're a spy.


	5. Imperfect but Okay

Chapter 5: Imperfect but Okay

Despite Joan's worrying, Maia seemed to be doing fine after learning what her parents really did. As the weeks passed, life felt like it had gone back to normal. Joan and Arthur had hoped that they would have a relaxing weekend with Maia doing some packing and prep for their upcoming trip to Chile, but on Sunday afternoon Arthur ended up having to go into the office to handle a few things - and with the hope that he could take some sort of action to prevent anything major from happening. When Maia woke up on Monday morning and found her babysitter, Kelly, in the kitchen instead of her parents, she figure that all had not gone as her dad had hoped. Maia and Kelly had a good day together, and in the early evening they took off for a run in preparation for their upcoming 5K race. Maia liked running and she and Kelly raced each other for the last mile. Kelly was more fit, but Maia was young and fast & so they had a competitive run back to the house. Breathing hard but feeling exhilarated, Maia flopped down in front of the television and started to stretch her hamstrings out. It was HOT outside and it was impressively humid, so being back in the air conditioned house was a welcome relief to being out in DC summer weather. Still given the humidity they were contending with, Maia and Kelly were both pretty impressed with the fact that they'd done 5 miles together. Maia finished up her stretching and waited for Kelly before hitting the kitchen for water and bananas. Without realizing it, Maia started picking at her nails. "Hey Maia- quit it," Kelly said to her, not at all unkindly.

"Huh?" Maia said, not really grasping what Kelly was talking about.

"That's new right?" Kelly said, gesturing at Maia's lavender nail polish.

Holding her fingers up in front of her face Maia smiled and realized what Kelly was talking about, "Oh yeah, yesterday," she told her babysitter as she put her hands back down, and didn't pick at her nails any longer. After her dad had gone into work, her mom had tried to make up for his absence by having some girl time together, and so they'd gotten their nails done and gone out to dinner together.

"Figured you wanted to keep 'em for a little longer," Kelly said knowingly as she smiled at her sweaty little charge.

"My mom is crazy," Maia responded as she rolled her eyes to herself. Kelly knew what was up. Joan was a perfectionist about everything in her life, and so Maia's appearance never went unnoticed. If you asked Joan about it, she would admit that she paid attention to how Maia looked, but she would quickly justify this saying that she just wanted to make sure that Maia always looked presentable and like a little girl - have you seen the things that some parents their daughters wear? If you asked Maia, however, she would say that her mother was obsessed with everything about her looking just the way she, her mother, wanted it to. So when Maia decided she wanted to wear nail polish, Joan had begrudgingly agreed - but limited the color options to soft pastel colors that she thought were appropriate for a girl her daughter's age. Joan also seemed to have eyes that lasered in on any imperfections, and so when she saw chipped polish, she made Maia take it off. "Chipped polish makes you look messy, like you don't care about your appearance," Joan had told her. At first Maia tried to shrug her mother off and tell her, "Mo-om, it's fine - it's just what happens to nail polish." But that response only got her a glare from a Joan, and then a nod toward the bathroom to get the nail polish remover. Joan was usually willing to repaint her daughter's nails after taking off the offending polish, but if Maia chipped her polish from picking at it, or just too fast after Joan had painted them, then the polish came off and Joan made her wait until the weekend to fix the situation. So - Maia sat on her hands while she waited for Kelly to finish up stretching.

As Maia was waiting she could faintly hear her phone ringing. She hoisted herself off the floor and then jogged toward her room to find her phone. Breathless from the unexpected exertion she answered.

"You okay Mai?" her dad's voice asked her through the phone.

"Oh yeah - I just had to run around to find my phone, and Kelly and I finished up a run outside," she told her dad.

"I see," he said distractedly.

"Dad - what's up?" Maia asked directly, knowing that he wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying. Growing up with Joan and Arthur as her mom and dad, she knew that sometimes their heads were just in other places. When that was going on it was usually best to just cut to the chase and figure out what they needed.

"Well your mom and I are going to be working late tonight, so Kelly and you will have to have dinner together, and then we'll check in later this evening to let you know when we hope to be home," Arthur told her. It had been nearly a month since they had their family discussion about working for the CIA, and this was the first night since then that both Arthur and Joan were stuck at work.

"Oh. Okay," Maia said quietly, "Do you think you'll be home before bedtime?" She really wanted them to be home before then because she wanted to talk to them about her birthday. It was a month away, but between now and then they were all going out of town for 10 days, and she had a couple of birthday party ideas that she wanted to run by them.

"I hope so, but I honestly can't be sure," Arthur said trying not to get his daughter's hopes up because he know that he and Joan had a mess of a situation they were dealing with, "But hey your mom and I will call you later tonight okay?"

"Okay," Maia responded, "You need to talk to Kelly about this huh?"

Arthur said yes and Maia found Kelly in the kitchen pouring them both tall glasses of water. She passed the phone off to Kelly, who got instructions from Arthur about dinner and the updated schedule. When she got off the phone, Kelly turned to Maia to tell her, "So it looks like we're getting some girl time tonight. Let's find a good movie on Netflix and I'll order us some food - you want pizza, Indian, Chinese?"

Maia smiled at Kelly - she thought of her like a big sister and while she wished her parents weren't working late, she really did enjoy hanging out with Kelly. They ordered pizza, and at Maia's suggestion settled themselves in front of the TV to watch Despicable Me - a movie Maia wouldn't admit to her friends that she still liked, but could watch with Kelly and not feel embarrassed for liking it.

When her mother called her later that evening, Maia let Kelly answer the phone. She didn't trust herself to not be outwardly disappointed if her mom said they weren't coming home. When Kelly said, "No it's no problem at all Mrs. Campbell," into the receiver Maia figured that her mom was staying at work for the night. Kelly passed the phone off to her, and as Maia said hello, she walked toward the bedroom with the phone.

"Mai, I'm sorry but your dad and I need to stay at work for awhile longer, and so we won't be home before you go to bed tonight," Joan said into the phone, hoping that Maia would take it okay.

"Why?" Maia asked after a long silence.

The one-word question didn't come out with attitude, but was firm, and Joan was taken aback. Maia had been more upset about Joan and Arthur's extended absences before, but she'd never asked directly asked why she or Arthur couldn't get home. Before she'd always just known it was work, and she didn't press the issue further. "You know why - we have work we have to do," Joan said into the phone, trying hard to keep her tone upbeat.

"Duh," Maia said into the phone, immediately regretting her word choice - she knew how much her mother hated it when she didn't use "real" words. Maia could feel the judgement in her her mother's icy blue eyes coming through the phone at her. Hurrying forward she elaborated, "Mom I mean why do you have to work through the night? What's so important?"

Joan sighed into the phone. She was exhausted and would really prefer to be going home and going to bed, but she couldn't, and so she told her daughter, "I can't tell you the specifics, but you know what we talked about before. You just have to trust me that this is something important, and if I could be home I would, but I can't."

"Fine," Maia said flatly.

"Mai honey - I really am sorry I can't get away," Joan tried.

"I know," Maia said without any more emotion than before, "It just sucks that you can't tell me why. I thought you said I could ask you anything." Maia was frustrated and whining.

Joan hated whining and she hated that her daughter used the word "sucks," but she also hated this situation, and so she calmly explained to her daughter that while she could ask anything, sometimes the answers would be unsatisfactory because they were classified and so she couldn't know the answers. Maia rolled her eyes, glad her mother was talking through the phone and not standing in front of her. "I'll be home as soon as I can," Joan offered.

Maia still said nothing. She could feel tears welling up and she was afraid if she talked she'd cry for real. Her parents often didn't make it home for dinner, and the number of times one or both of them had stayed at work past her bedtime were too many for her to count, but this time Maia was madder and more sad than she'd been in a long time. Knowing that her parents were doing things that could be dangerous scared her. It was almost easier to think that her mom was just a workaholic banker, and her dad was just a government suit. But more than any of that, she just missed them, and she had things to discuss with them that felt very important - like her birthday and her upcoming dance performances. When her mom told her that she'd be home as soon as she could, Maia knew she meant it. She could hear it in the pleading softness in her mother's voice - a voice that was not one she often heard from her mother. And hearing that voice almost made things worse in Maia's mind, she didn't want to cry on the phone, or at all. So she just stayed quiet and bit her lip trying to refocus her sad feelings to the pain she was feeling in her lip.

"Mai - are you okay?" Joan asked, a little worried about how Maia was holding up since she couldn't even hear breathing on the other end of the phone.

Maia nodded, but she knew her mom couldn't see her so that wasn't really effective as a form of communication. Finally she whispered into the phone. "I gotta go."

"Okay, bye sweetheart," Joan said - wondering if she'd actually gotten through, or if Maia had hung up the phone before then. Before she got up from her desk, Joan took a few deep breaths and allowed herself to feel a little anxious about how Maia was doing.

Back in their house, Maia had hung up the phone and shut herself in the bathroom to get herself together before she went back out to Kelly. It was already 9:00. An hour before bedtime. She put on her pjs, and wandered back out to the living room where Kelly was flicking through something on her phone.

"Hey Little Mac," Kelly said to her cheerily. Hearing her nickname - which was really just the combination of her initials, made Maia smile. Only Kelly called her that and she liked it.

"Hey," Maia said as she plunked herself down into the armchair across from Kelly. "Do you think we can have ice cream sundaes?" Kelly readily agreed and so the two of them raided the freezer and made themselves some crazy looking sundaes before Kelly announced it was time to brush teeth and get ready for bed.

Monday became Tuesday and Maia hadn't really seen her parents since Sunday night. On Tuesday evening she'd broached the subject of her birthday with her dad, but he'd been distracted and told her that they would all have to talk about it sometime soon, but that it'd have to wait for a little while longer. "Maybe we can talk about it while we're on vacation?" he'd suggested. Maia didn't react well to this suggestion - telling him that it was going to be too late to plan anything at that point - her birthday was in a month and they would only be getting back from Chile 8 days before her birthday.

Trying to make things better, but in actuality making them worse, Arthur had offered, "Well you don't have to have your party on your birthday. We can always celebrate later if it's too much to plan in time." Maia sighed loudly into the phone, "Da-ad, I don't want to celebrate later, and it's only too much to plan because you and mom are too busy with work!"

Arthur was a little surprised by his daughter's accusation. He felt a twinge of guilt over the fact that what Maia said was true. Still, he reasoned, it wasn't like there was anything he or Joan could do about it. "Maia, we're working on something pretty important right now, but we will not forget your birthday. Don't you worry. But for now, I have to go and get back to work," he'd told her.

"Of course you do," she'd replied testily. She couldn't believe that her own dad was being so whatever about her birthday. She knew that her parents had important jobs, but it still didn't help Maia feel better when they didn't even seem to recognize that there were important things going on in her life too.

"I love you. Have a good night," Arthur had said, ending the call.

"Night," Maia had replied - purposefully leaving off any mention of her love for him.

By Thursday Maia was getting down over her parents' prolonged absence. She knew that they did come home at some point most nights. When they'd slip into her room and kiss her goodnight, she could smell her mom's perfume and her dad's cologne. But they were like ghosts - they'd come in and check on her (sleeping), and then they'd slip back out. By the time Maia got up, Kelly and she were the only ones home again. She hadn't been able to talk to her parents about her dance performances yet, and so Maia had dialed her mother's office on Thursday morning. Maia thought it was a good sign when her mother answered and seemed pleasantly surprised to be hearing form her. "What are you and Kelly up to today?" Joan had asked her.

Maia listed off a few things they were going to do - but then cut right to the chase - "Mom are you and dad going to make it to my dance performances this weekend?" Friday was a dress rehearsal for her dance group's performance on Saturday at a National Dance Day event.

"I hope so," Joan told her hopeful daughter, "I really want to see you perform, but I'm not sure if we'll be able to make it. We're trying to get everything taken care of so we can at least come to the real performance on Saturday, but I really hope we can get to the dress rehearsal too. I know you've been working hard to prepare." Nothing Joan said was insincere. She really did want to be at both performances, but they weren't working on her wishes (or her daughter's) - the timeline for the operation she was running just wasn't working the way that any of them hoped, and she wasn't entirely sure everything would be wrapped up by the end of the week.

"They're both real performances mom, and I need you to be there," Maia whined a little in the phone, upset that her mother had called one of them "real" and upset that her mom wouldn't just say that she was coming. She didn't want to be the only kid in her group to not have her parents at the performances.

"I'm really really sorry," Joan tried, "I want to be there, and I'm sorry you might have to do it alone, but Kelly will be there in person so you won't be there alone."

"That's not the same," Maia told her mother - more quietly but definitely with frustration.

"I know it's not the same, but it might be the best we can do. But we don't know that for sure, so don't get yourself too upset yet. Maybe everything will work out and your dad and I will be there," Joan explained - hoping that it would calm Maia down right now. Not being able to guarantee that she would always be at everything Maia did, really made Joan feel like an awful mother, but sometimes life just got in the way.

"Yeah," Maia finally huffed as she told her mom she'd talk to her later because she had to get to practice. She did have to get to practice - but not for another hour, and so Maia dialed Arthur's office number hoping that she could convince her dad to hurry things up. That conversation went the same way her conversation with her mother had gone. But this conversation really hit a wall when Maia told her father, "But if you're in charge, can't you just let mom leave for a little bit to see me? It's like TWO HOURS dad, not forever. Please?!"

"Mai, that's not how this works. Even if I sent your mother to your dance, she'd have to come back if something happened, and it would take too long for her to get back, and that could put everything we're working on in danger." Arthur explained into the phone as he also sorted through papers on his desk and made a note to himself of who needed Midge to get on the phone next.

"I hate this!" Maia pouted.

"Well that makes two of us," Arthur said pretty flatly. He did hate it too, but it was just the way things were, and he figured that he and Joan would make it up to Maia on vacation when she'd have 100% of their attention the whole time.

And so when Maia got to dance practice she decided to take it upon herself to make plans so that she'd have something to distract her when her parents didn't show up to either of her performances. Maia talked to friend Lexie about her parents being stuck out-of-town at work things, figuring that was a safe lie. She was mad her parents, but Maia still wanted to protect them. Lexie invited her to to sleep over after the dress rehearsal, and then spend Saturday at the pool with her and her family after the performance. Maia hadn't actually asked Kelly, but figured that Kelly would be OK with it, and her parents weren't really around to ask. Lexie's parents were really nice, and so when they said it was fine with them, Maia figured that was all the permission she really needed.

When Arthur called her that evening to check in on her, Maia told him her plans as if they were set-in-stone facts.

"Does your mom know about your plans?" Arthur asked her.

"Not yet," Maia said, "But I figured it'd be okay."

"Oh you did, did you? What gave you the impression that your mom wanted to be told your plans instead of being asked?" Arthur queried. His daughter had some gumption, but he knew that if she actually wanted to go to Lexie's she should probably ask Joan, rather than tell her. Joan would more than likely say yes. Neither of them wanted to prevent her from having fun or being with her friends, but they wanted her to recognize that she needed to ask permission rather than just make plans. As he spoke, Arthur didn't actually mean to be scolding her in that moment, he just wanted her to approach her mother correctly - more for her own sake than for Joan's. He and Maia usually had a pretty easy relationships where they could be a little sarcastic and joking, but tonight when he said what he said, it just came out as stern and scolding.

Maia felt the scolding through the phone, and that coupled with her feeling like her parents were ignoring her frustrated her. "Well she's not here to ask, so asking is a little hard," Maia said with a little more attitude than Arthur was used to.

"Mai - that's not really her fault. And you could always ask her when you talk to her on the phone - we've called you every night," Arthur reasoned with her. The lack of sleep and high level of stress was getting to him and he was trying hard not to just call her out for her assumptions.

Maia was quiet for a moment and Arthur hoped that meant she was re-thinking her strategy, but when she spoke again he realized that was most definitely not the case, "Well it's not my fault either. And if you all are going to keep not coming home, then what does it matter if I'm here or at Lexie's?"

Arthur's eyes grew wide as he listened to his daughter's self-righteous attitude. "Young lady you can be mad that we haven't been home, but you don't get to be rude or disrespectful. And you certainly don't get to make the decisions around here!"

Maia had always been a good kid, and usually a raised voice or a stern glare would get her back in line, but this time she'd completely lost sight of any line. Maia yelled at her dad so loudly that Kelly came in to check that she was alright, "Around here?! Where's here dad, because YOU AREN'T HERE! And you haven't been here ALL WEEK!" And with that, Maia hung up the phone, threw it across the room and threw herself onto her bed to have a good cry - not caring at all that Kelly was standing just inside her room looking stunned.

Back in his office Arthur just held the phone out, looking at it. He couldn't believe it. His daughter had just hung up on him. Who did she think she was? What had gotten into her? He angrily re-dialed his daughter's number. When it went to voice mail for the third time, he was pretty sure that if it was possible for steam to be coming out of his ears, it would have been. On the ninth try he was so mad at his kid that he couldn't take it any longer. Maia was allowed to have her feelings, but she did not get to dictate terms like this. Grabbing his keys and yelling to Midge that he'd be back in an hour, he stormed out of his office and out to his car. On his drive home he called Kelly. He figured he needed to alert her to what was about to go down, and he also wanted to make sure that Maia was actually OK.

When she answered the phone on the fourth ring, "Hi Mr. Campbell," she spoke tentatively and Arthur had to take a breath to remember that he was angry at his daughter, not at his daughter's babysitter. Getting himself together he finally said, "Kelly - is Maia okay? She's not answering her phone."

"Yeah. She'll be okay. I heard the phone ringing, but she's pretty upset so she couldn't answer her phone," Kelly started. She was trying to give him the details he needed while not getting Maia into anymore trouble than Kelly imagined she was in.

Arthur figured that Kelly was trying to protect Maia, and while he was still furious at his daughter, Kelly's protectiveness knocked a little bit of sense into him. "Kelly can you ask her if she will talk to me now?" Arthur asked - deciding that he should give Maia one last chance to act appropriately. He listened as Kelly walked into Maia's room and told her, "Mai - your dad is on the phone. He'd like to talk to you - can you talk to him please?" Arthur heard Kelly ask Maia again. Then he heard Maia tell Kelly, "No! He's being a jerk!"

Coming back on the line herself, Kelly told Arthur, "Mr. Campbell she says she's not ready to talk yet. I'm sorry. Is there anything else I can do for you or Mrs. Campbell?"

Oh crap. Joan. Arthur never even told her that he was leaving or where he was going. Oh well - too late now. He'd have to talk to her later. "Um - no Kelly. Thank you. Well wait - actually yes - would you mind running a quick errand for me?"

"Sure - but can it be a in a little bit - I don't think I can get Maia out of her room to go anywhere quite yet," Kelly said - a little confused about what was going on.

"Oh you can leave her there. I'll be there in about 3 minutes and she and I ARE going to have a conversation," Arthur explained, growling the last part out.

"So do you want me to wait for you to get here, or do you want me to step out now?" Kelly asked, not wanting to further upset Arthur, but also not wanting to do the wrong thing.

"You can go now - can you just come back in about half an hour?" Arthur said - much more gently - remembering again how his anger at his daughter shouldn't get directed at anything Kelly said.

As she hung up the phone, Kelly wondered if she should warn Maia or not. She wanted to let her know to get it together, but she didn't want to send her into any more hysterics. Ultimately she decided that if she were Maia she'd want some warning that her absolutely furious father was on his way home. So she slipped into Maia's room where she was still laying on her bed crying into her pillow. Sitting down next her heaving body, Kelly put her hand on her back. She tried to talk to her calmly and reassuringly, "Maia - your dad is on his way home and he wants to talk to you when he gets here. I just wanted to let you know, and to tell you I'm so sorry you're so upset." Kelly felt terrible for Maia. She'd never seen her like this before, and while she'd figured that the Campbells had high expectations of Maia and her behavior, she wouldn't have ever called them strict. They wanted Maia to have opinions, and they invited her to participate in a lot of decision making for the family - like meals, her own summer camp situation, family vacations. The Campbells didn't put up with a lot of nonsense, but Kelly felt that they also always let Maia be a kid and that they - and especially Arthur, got a real kick out of some of Maia's kid antics. So Kelly never had heard them angry like she heard Arthur on the phone. In fact Kelly felt like she was the one in trouble, and she knew that Arthur was trying not to yell at her. Maia was definitely going to be read the riot act when Arthur made it to the house, and Kelly was pretty glad to not have to be there when it happened.

"It's going to be okay," Kelly whispered into Maia's hair before she got up and let herself out of Maia's room and out of the house. As she backed down the Campbell's driveway, she saw Arthur's headlights coming toward her. Arthur waited for Kelly to pull away before pulling into his own driveway. As he headed towards the front door he tried to take a couple of deep breaths. He was furious, but he was also just sad that he and Maia were having what was really their first father-daughter issue. She was definitely a daddy's little girl, and he loved that. Any disagreements they'd had before were not real disagreements - they were Maia being a kid and wanting something unhealthy, unsafe, or crazy, and Arthur being a parent and wanting to make sure she was healthy, safe, and happy but not spoiled. But tonight it was clear from his own anger and his daughter's stubborn distancing herself from him that this was no little disagreement.

Opening the door Arthur called out for his daughter, who did not respond at all. "Maia!" he tried again. Still nothing. Marching towards her bedroom, he threw the door open and shouted at her, "Maia Anne Campbell! I've been calling -" Arthur abruptly stopped shouting as he took in the scene in front of him. He expected to find Maia with her arms crossed, still full of self-righteous anger and attitude. Instead when he flew through her bedroom door he saw his daughter's body heaving from crying. She had her head buried in her pillow, and the head of the stuffed giraffe he'd bought her at the zoo a few years ago was peeking out from the stranglehold she had on it. Seeing how upset she was, and how much young she looked laying there with her stuffed animal, Arthur thought 10, almost 11 was a weird age. Maia could cop an attitude like a teenager, but the next minute be his little girl. She hadn't stopped crying or acknowledged him since he burst through the door. Quickly crossing the room, Arthur dragged her desk chair over to the side of the bed Maia was on. "Mai," he began, trying to talk to her softly "We need to talk."

There was some sniffling, and then Maia turned onto her side and curled up into the fetal position, still hugging Magnolia, her giraffe. She was facing away from Arthur, and he was trying to not let his anger rise back up. "Maia, you don't have to look at me yet, but you do have to talk to me," he told her sternly.

"I can't," she finally whispered.

"Why not?" he asked her - honestly wondering why not.

"Because I'm still mad at you," she said as she started to cry again.

Arthur rubbed his hands together and chuckled to himself in spite of the situation. "It's not funny," his daughter said to him - still facing away from him.

"Oh this situation is definitely not funny," Arthur agreed, "But it is funny how much you and your mother are alike. When we have a fight she does the same thing you're doing right now."

"Oh," Maia replied. She didn't know what to do now. She was still mad at her dad, but he was here, and he wasn't yelling.

"Mai, seriously. Can you look at me please? We need to talk," Arthur said to his daughter's back.

"Are you going to yell at me?" Maia asked, still facing the other way.

"I'm going to try not to," her dad told her.

"Okay," Maia said as she rolled over to face her dad. She was still all curled up, and still hugging Magnolia, but at least Arthur could see her face. Her eyes were all puffy and red, but for now they were dry. Taking a deep breath Arthur leaned forward so he could rest his elbows on his knees and try to work things out with his daughter, and hopefully make it back to work before his wife noticed he'd left.


	6. The Joys of Parenting

Maia stayed curled in the fetal position as she faced her father. She wanted to say she was sorry, but the trouble was - she wasn't completely sorry yet. Or well, she was sorry. She was sorry she'd been rude, but apparently being rude worked, she got her dad to come home. She was glad about that, but she was also still mad. Her feelings were hurt, and she didn't like it when she her parents hurt her feelings.

Arthur watched Maia think. In general Joan was better at reading Maia's nonverbal cues than Arthur was, and in general Joan was more nervous and more parent-y than Arthur was. Joan was the one who always knew when every test, project, or presentation was in Maia's school life. She was the one who made sure everything was done right, and would double check all of Maia's homework before she turned it in. Joan was also the one with more rules about healthy eating, what Maia could and could not wear, what Maia could and could not watch on TV, how much time she spent on the internet, bedtimes, etc. Joan was a benevolent dictator. She certainly loved Maia to death, and enjoyed her company, but she also felt like it was her responsibility to make sure that Maia turned out to be a good person, a classy and strong woman, and success over all. And so Joan was a worrier. Her rules were pretty reasonable, but to Arthur it just seemed like so many rules and too much worrying about details. Arthur wanted the same things good things for Maia as Joan did, but he didn't stress over it nearly as much; it just wasn't his way of being in the world. And so while Joan and Maia had a good relationship, Arthur and Maia had one where although he was the dad, they were also each other's sidekick. When Maia was younger he'd get up early on Saturdays with her so they could watch cartoons together in their pajamas. He'd introduced Maia to football and they spent lazy Sunday afternoons watching football together and screaming at the TV. They had a good time together. But even though he was the "fun" parent most of the time, when it came to discipline he tended to be the one to end up in the disciplinarian role. Maybe it was a gender roles thing, though he didn't really think could totally be the case since Joan wasn't into ideas about what men and women could or couldn't do based on their sex alone.

When it came to disciplining Maia, however, Arthur and Joan just approached it differently, and his way was definitely usually the more dramatic. Maia was his baby girl and he could count on one hand the number of times he'd lost his temper at her, and based on the terror in Maia's eyes when he yelled he was pretty sure she could recount each situation. After he got things off his chest, he'd usually end up apologizing for yelling at her and she would apologize for her part of the situation, and all would go back to normal. Joan, on the other hand wasn't a yeller. Instead she had a large arsenal of stern glares that she brought out when she needed to will Maia back to being good. For the most part that was all Joan needed to employ to get Maia to stop whatever offending thing she was doing. But when Maia went too far over the line - which was a pretty rare occasion - Joan had a single way of handling it. She'd glare at her, and in an icily calm voice inform Maia of the problem and her judgment of it as inappropriate, unlikable, petulant, or whatever, and then turn on her heel and walk away. As she left she'd tell Maia that when she was ready to return to her normal, pleasant self to come and find her. Arthur was fairly sure that when Joan first started using this tactic that Maia didn't even fully understand the vocabulary that Joan used. But nearly every time this technique worked like a charm. Maia was usually stunned by the whole situation. Since Joan had isolated herself from her daughter, Maia would pout for awhile, but eventually she would snap herself out of it and go find her mother. She and Joan would then have a little heart-to-heart about her behavior, and all would be right again.

When Joan's tactic didn't work, or when Maia had gone WAY beyond just a little naughty, Joan left Arthur to deal with "his daughter." When Maia rode her bike to her friend's house without permission - and crossing multiple streets - at age 7 Joan found her, drove her home, and told her she was just too angry to deal with her and sent Maia to her room to wait for her father. But for the most part when Maia was in deep trouble it was something that he and Joan were both home for and he just ended up dealing with it - like they time she'd superglued a ball onto her cousin's knee while he was sleeping - just to see if the glue really was super - and she blamed it on her other cousin. But moments like this were extraordinarily few and far between. Although Maia was rarely in need of correction from him, he did have some experience with how Maia handled herself when she'd been sent to her room for him to deal with. And from this experience he knew that Maia was actually a lot like his wife. She was ruminative. She didn't talk until she was ready and knew what she thought or felt. And even as a little girl she really did do a lot of thinking, so when she was silent she wasn't actually ignoring him or the situation - she was just mentally working through things. She needed to come to her own conclusion that yes, indeed, she'd stepped way over the line and was sorry about it.

And so as Arthur watched his daughter think, he knew that Maia was trying to figure out which feeling she was going to let dominate. Maia had always had a good conscience on her, and she always wanted to be in the good favor of her parents and others she looked up to. This was a quality that made it easy to parent her, since for the most part she was the one who eventually was her own worst critic.

Maia kept thinking and Arthur let them sit there in thoughtful silence for awhile. Finally he decided she'd had enough time to get herself in an okay place to hear him, so he started to speak, "Maia, I can see you're upset. & I'm sorry that your mom and I have had to work so much lately. I know that it's not fair, but we've talked with you about this before. You know that sometimes we have to work, but you also know that we do our best to balance work and family. Your mom has spent the last three Fridays home with you. And we're all going on vacation together for 10 days. You do see the bigger picture don't you?"

Maia didn't say anything at first. She didn't want to. She wanted to stay mad at her dad. Even though she knew her dad was right about what he was saying, it didn't make this week feel better.

"Maia," Arthur said more sternly, "You had a tantrum on the phone, hung up on me, didn't take any of my calls, and then called me a jerk and refused to talk to me when Kelly asked you to talk with me. I'm trying very hard not to yell right now - but it's all over if you don't start talking young lady."

A few tears dripped out of Maia's eyes. She nodded at her dad, as she kept hugging Magnolia the Giraffe tightly.

"Words please Maia," Arthur said - his voice clearly trying to be encouraging and to mask his exasperation.

"I do," Maia said quietly.

"Okay. Then. Do you know why I got so angry tonight?" Arthur asked her.

"Yeah," Maia said, closing her eyes.

"I'm going to need you to tell me," Arthur pushed her for more information.

"Because I yelled at you and hung up on you," Maia started and stopped. Arthur gave her a stern look to keep her talking, so she continued, "and I was disrespectful." She paused momentarily and looked at her dad, "I'm sorry daddy," she spluttered as she started to cry again.

Arthur sighed deeply, "I know you are" he said to her gently as he reached out to rub her arm.

"Mai honey, I know you're sorry, and I accept your apology. I also know that this week has been hard on all of us. BUT you still can't talk to me the way you did tonight, or stop talking to me the way you also did tonight," Arthur explained to his daughter firmly but not meanly.

Maia nodded as he talked, and so he kept going, "And sweetheart your mom and I are the parents, and so when you want to make plans with your friends you need to ask us permission first. If you had asked your mom about going to Lexie's she probably would have said yes - & I would have too. You just have to ask. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"Okay then. I'm glad we understand each other," Arthur told her as he leaned back in her desk chair.

"Daddy?" Maia asked, her blue eyes filled with concern.

"Yeah pumpkin?" he responded, guessing where she was probably going with her question and trying to quickly formulate what his response would be.

"Am I in trouble?" she asked.

Stalling for time Arthur asked her, "What do you mean?"

"Like what's my punishment?" Maia said quietly, no longer able to keep eye contact with her dad.

"Ah," Arthur said, "Well what do you think is fair?" Turning the question on her seemed like a good move - to see what she really thought of what she did. And it still gave him time to decide whether or not he really thought there was any punishment necessary. When he'd first arrived home he would have said she'd lose all her privileges to everything for the rest of her life, but he'd softened - and gotten a grip on the reality of the situation since then, and now he wasn't so sure there was much of anything to do in the punishment department.

"Um, I guess yeah," she said. When her father raised his bushy eyebrows at her she tried to make more sense, "I mean, yeah I guess I should probably stay in this weekend?" she suggested as a question more than a statement.

Arthur nodded, "That might be a good idea. Why do you think it's a good idea?"

Hesitating for a moment first, Maia scrunched up her face as she told him, "Because I didn't get permission?" When her dad just nodded at her she tried saying more, "Because it's the really wrong thing I did. Well." She paused before continuing, "I guess the other really wrong thing was what I did to you huh?" Tears started to well up in her eyes again, and Arthur felt bad. He didn't actually want her to have to rehash everything; he knew that she was sorry and that nothing like this would happen again anytime soon. He'd really only asked her the question because he still wasn't sure if there was any need for punishment at all. He knew she'd crossed some lines, but he also had come to see that he and Joan weren't helping the situation at all really. "Daddy, I'm really really sorry!" Maia said through her tears.

"Hey hey, you don't need to keep feeling bad about that Maia," he said comfortingly, "You did some stuff that wasn't good tonight, but you won't do it again right?"

"No," she sniffed.

"Okay then, how about we just call this situation done with then? I think we've all had a hard week, and you and I understand what you're going to do next time instead of what you did tonight." Arthur explained to his daughter who was looking at him with a confused look on her face.

"I'm not getting punished?" Maia asked. Arthur shook his head at her and smiled, "Not this time."

"Thanks daddy," she told him as she rubbed her eyes. Essentially the conversation was over - or at least the one he'd intended to have when he left the office - though he had to admit that this wasn't the way he thought the conversation would go at that time. But now that he'd seen how upset his daughter was, he also thought there was a different conversation the two of them needed to have. Quickly checking his watch to see how long he'd been out of the office, Arthur decided he could probably squeeze in a little more time talking with his daughter.

"Maia," he began, "are you still mad at me?"

Maia surprised herself by smiling at her dad. She was glad he'd remembered that she'd been mad at him, and she liked that he was asking her about her feelings instead of just rushing back to work. "If I say yes am I going to be back in trouble?" she asked him with some teasing in her voice that had been missing all week.

"No. Definitely not," Arthur answered her as he smiled at her smile.

"Okay - then yes, but not as mad as earlier," she told him as she loosened her grip on Magnolia for the first time since he'd entered her room.

"Can you tell me why?" Arthur inquired.

Maia nodded solemnly and sat up on her bed facing her dad. Her legs hung over the side, and she had Magnolia in her lap. Her dad looked at her expectantly, and so she launched into what she'd wished she had told her dad earlier instead of yelling, but at the time the yelling just seemed right. "I'm mostly mad at the situation. I don't like it when you and mom both have to work all the time. I like Kelly, but I miss you. And I need to talk about things that are important to ME. I know it's not the same importance like spy stuff and politics, but my birthday and my performances are important to me and I want them to be important to you. So when you guys are too busy to even talk to me about those things on the phone it makes me feel like you guys don't care. It hurts my feelings." A couple of tears slipped out of her eyes, but she brushed them away and continued, "I guess I was feeling left out or forgotten, or just unimportant most of the week. I really don't feel like it's too much to ask that one of you comes to my dance stuff, but you and mom both basically said no. So I made plans with Lexie because I didn't want to be the only kid without a parent, and to then have to come home to no parents either. It makes me feel like an orphan, only worse because I DO have parents they just miss stuff. So when you got mad at me for not asking about making plans I guess I mean, I know I should ask, but I guess I just felt like you just wanted me to be happy to play by the rules of how families are supposed to work, when you guys aren't playing by the same rules."

Arthur looked confused by the last part of what she said, and he asked her about what she meant. Maia clarified for her dad, "It's like you want me to be this perfect daughter, but you guys don't have to be perfect parents - you get to be all absent and I have to deal with your work stuff, but when I get mad or have to do something for myself then I'm bad. It's just not fair," she whined a little at the end.

"It's not fair," Arthur agreed, "but when we say we can't do anything about it we really mean it sweetheart. Your mom and I really try to make sure we aren't absent from your life, but sometimes we just have to be for a little while, but we never do it on purpose."

"I know that, but it still means that the times you're gone suck, especially when you're missing important stuff of mine," Maia pouted.

"Your mother hates that language," Arthur said to Maia as he smiled at her.

"I know that too," Maia said as she cracked a half smile for her dad.

"Look Mai, I can't change our jobs. And you're allowed to be mad at the jobs and at your mom and me. You can even tell us you're mad at us - but you don't get to yell, and you don't get to hang up on us. But if you tell us you're mad that might be helpful. I didn't mean to make you feel like your birthday or dance stuff wasn't important, or that you're less important than our jobs. You are the most important thing to your mom and me, but we need to keep our jobs so we can pay for things, and because if we were around all the time you'd probably hate us. I mean can you imagine if your mom was always hovering over you?" he asked Maia -trying to get her to laugh, while also emphasizing that she was important to him.

Maia smiled at her dad, "Yeah, that would be hard too."

Arthur grinned back at her and then told her, "Sweetie - if you could have told us that you were mad or hurt by how we were brushing you off, I think we both would have tried harder to make you feel listened to. We didn't realize that was how you felt."

"Okay, but that's easier said than done," Maia reminded him as she lifted her eyebrows at him.

"Try it for me please?" Arthur asked her.

"I will," Maia said, "But then you promise to really listen right?"

"Promise," her dad told her.

"Okay - I have to get back to work. I didn't even tell your mother I was leaving. Are we okay?" Arthur asked his daughter.

"We're okay for now. You might not be okay when mom finds out that you just took off," Maia teased.

"Well then I better get going kiddo," Arthur said getting up and putting the desk chair back where it belonged. Hugging his daughter and giving her a kiss on the top of the head, he told her loved her and hoped to see her regularly very very soon.

Maia hugged Arthur back and this time she told him she loved him too. As he walked out of her room she called after him, "Daddy?!"

Arthur took a few steps backwards so he was back in her doorway. "Yeah Mai?" he asked her.

"Thanks for coming home to talk to me. That was pretty cool," she told him.

Arthur chuckled a little, "I'm glad we had this talk too." As he walked out of the house, he saw Kelly in the living room. He gave her smile and thanked her. Then he got back in his car thinking just how uncool Maia would have thought his quick trip home was if she'd known that he'd started with a plan to tear into her about her attitude. Good thing that didn't happen, he thought to himself.

After her dad left, Maia stayed in her room for a little bit before wandering out to find Kelly. Maia found her in the kitchen slicing strawberries. "Can I have some?" Maia asked as she hopped onto a stool at the island. "Sure! You seem like you're feeling better," Kelly commented on Maia's change in demeanor.

"Mmmhmmm," Maia said through a mouthful of strawberries.

"Things went well with your dad, I take it?" Kelly asked her.

"Yeah, I think we're cool now," Maia told her, not revealing anything else.

"Good," Kelly said as she bit into a strawberry too.

After demolishing a big bowl of strawberries, Maia convinced Kelly to let her stay up to watch The Hunger Games. Kelly thought Maia was a little young for it - but Maia had read the books and her parents had taken her to see the movie - so Kelly agreed to it. About an hour in, however, Kelly looked over and Maia was knocked out on the sofa.

Kelly had slipped into the kitchen to get a glass of water when the front door opened and Joan rushed in. "Mrs. Campbell!" Kelly greeted her, "Maia will be so excited to see you!"

Joan smiled. She had been standing in Arthur's office when he came back to Langley, so she knew what had gone down earlier that evening. She wanted to be mad at her husband for being so rash and not telling her anything he was doing, but it sounded like things were worked out and Maia was feeling more secure. Still when it came to overnight plans, Arthur and she had decided that she should go home for the night. Since she was now regularly out on Fridays they already had someone to cover her, and while he'd need her back to run point on part of the operations they had overseas tomorrow, the basic parts of her job were, thankfully, covered. And so Joan had hurried home to try to see Maia before she went to bed. "Is she okay?" Joan asked Kelly - hoping that Arthur hadn't sugar coated anything for her when he'd told her how his conversation with their daughter had gone down.

"Oh yeah - she and Mr. Campbell had a good talk, and she was happy when we started watching The Hunger Games. She fell asleep about half an hour ago, but I haven't moved her to her bedroom yet."

"Oh okay, I'll take care of that," Joan told Kelly, "And thanks - for staying with her so much this week."

"My pleasure," Kelly responded, though she was left wondering whether that meant she was off for the night, or if Joan was home only for a brief check in with Maia before heading out again. Joan could see the questioning on Kelly's face, "Oh - sorry I should have said that I'm home for the night. I'll be going in around 10 tomorrow morning, so if you could just be here around 9:30 that'd be great."

"Sure thing, Mrs. Campbell," Kelly said as she let herself out of the house.

Joan walked into the living room and looked down at her sleeping daughter. She shut off the television, and then roused her daughter by kissing her on her cheek and whispering to her, "Hey Maia, I'm home." Maia's eyes fluttered open and shut, and then opened wide. "Mom?" Maia said sleepily.

"Hey. I think we should get you to your actual bed, huh?" she said to her daughter softly.

"Okay," Maia said as she stood up with her mother's help. Joan pulled her daughter close as she put her arm around Maia's little shoulders and helped her down the hall to her bedroom. Joan sat on Maia's bed as Maia disappeared into her en suite bathroom to put on her pajamas and brush her teeth. When she came back out, her mother hand turned down her bed, and was sitting at the foot of it. Maia smiled at her mom, still pretty sleepy, but also still very happy to have her mother home. Maia climbed into bed, and her mother tucked her in, kissing her goodnight. "I have to go back to work tomorrow, but I'll be home when you get up so we can have breakfast together first, okay?"

"Mom," Maia asked hopefully, "Will you stay here 'til I fall asleep?"

Joan smiled down at Maia and told her "Sure," as Maia snuggled down under the covers. Joan kissed her daughter goodnight, and then settled herself onto the other side of the bed, watching as Maia slipped into the first peaceful sleep she'd had all week.

Thanks so much for following along! I'm out of town tomorrow so I probably won't get back to writing this til the weekend. Cheers!


	7. Plus One?

_Thanks for the reviews & so sorry for the delay in getting another chapter up. I've been crazy busy and having trouble getting out what I was thinking. This is sort of a transitioning chapter that needs to be here for the rest to make sense, but it's not terribly exciting on its own. Sorry for that, more to come that will hopefully be better and more quickly updated! _

Plus One?

It wasn't quite what she'd hoped for, but Maia was pretty pleased to be riding home from her dress rehearsal with her mom. Her dad hadn't been able to make it, but her mom came in during the performance and got to see part of it at least. But most importantly, Maia wasn't left without a parent. The fact that her mother had arrived with peonies for her made Maia feel like she and her parents were turning over a new leaf. And for awhile, life in the Campbell household supported that idea. They'd all had a relaxing vacation together, celebrated Maia's 11th birthday in style together at a fancy restaurant just the three of them, and then hosted all of her friends for a slumber party at the Smithsonian, and had weathered another busy time at the CIA just fine. As September rolled around and Maia went back to school Joan and Arthur both breathed a sigh a relief. Summers were hard on all of them. With Maia back at school, it meant that she was occupied for all the regular school hours, plus her after school activities and lessons, and then there was always homework to do. Joan and Arthur could throw themselves into work all day, and then if they had to take things home with them they could still be together as a family as they both worked and Maia did homework. Life was on track and going well for everyone.

Or so it seemed. After spending Thanksgiving with Arthur's family, they'd hosted Christmas for Joan's siblings and their children in DC. Not wanting to spoil the actual holiday, Joan's sister Caroline had waited to break the news that she had recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. Caroline was two years older than Joan, and had always been the one to look out for and encourage Joan. After the shock of news, and the gravity of Caroline's situation had set in the adults had all tried to come up with a plan. Obviously Caroline would need support herself. Her husband was taking some time off work while she was going through the worst of the treatment, but he couldn't stay out of work forever. & with the degree to which the cancer had spread, Caroline was going to be in need of help for months, and someone was going to need to help out with Caroline and Ron's daughter, Sarah. Once they'd squared away taking turns moving in with Caroline to help her out, it was Joan who broached the topic of Sarah-Carline and Ron's eleven year old daughter. "Have you all told Sarah?" Joan asked quietly without making eye contact with any of her siblings, their partners, or her own husband.

The question hung there for a moment in palpable silence before Caroline shook her head as she explained, "We're not sure how we're going to tell her, she's having such a rough year already. I'm afraid this might just put her over the edge." Joan remembered then how Caroline had been worried about Sarah because she'd become so reclusive. Her grades had been slipping a little, and she just seemed disinterested in school. Although her parents had tried to figure out what was going on, all they got out of Sarah was that she didn't feel like she fit in with her friends, and she didn't like school. She wouldn't admit to being bullied, but Caroline suspected there was some Queen Bee stuff happening, and that Sarah was being hurt by it.

As the group of adults brainstormed about how to talk to Sarah about Caroline's diagnosis, Joan squeezed Arthur's hand. When she got up and walked into the kitchen, Arthur followed her. "What's up Joan?" Arthur asked wondering what was on his wife's mind that they couldn't talk about either later or in front of their family.

Joan put on the kettle for some tea, and with her back to Arthur said to him, "You know how I was telling you about what Caroline said about Sarah and school a few weeks ago?"

Trying to put together the logic of this line of questioning in light of Caroline's cancer diagnosis, Arthur hesitated before answering, "Yes," in more of question than a statement. Then he just jumped in and asked her flat out, "Joan what's on your mind?"

"Well I was thinking," she started, but that was all she got out before Arthur figured out where this might all be going and cut her off. "Joan do you want Sarah to come live with us for awhile?-to get her into a new school environment?" Arthur knew his wife had a soft spot for Sarah. She and Maia were the same age, and while Joan was always the first to say that they couldn't handle a second child of their own, Joan also had always been happy-sad about Maia being an only child. Both she and Arthur came from big families of kids who got along well growing up and with whom they were still close. As Joan had gotten older she'd started to really see that part of why her siblings were so important to her was because they could be witnesses to the crazy things their parents sometimes said or did, and they could shoulder responsibility together. Maia didn't have someone else to say, "Yeah, you're right. They're crazy. Let me help you out," when she and Arthur undoubtedly did things that made Maia crazy. Joan had expressed this concern to Arthur on multiple occasions, and they'd both tried to console themselves with the fact that Maia was close to her cousins - especially Sarah. Because they were the same age, and because they had similar interests they'd always gotten along extremely well with each other.

Joan still had her back to Arthur as she poured the boiling water into her mug, but she smiled at the way Arthur could read her and determine just what she wanted to ask. Turning to face him, she nodded. "What do you think?" she asked.

"I think it's a great idea. Plus I don't think Maia is old enough to be home alone by herself for very long, but with the two of them, we could probably worry less about being home right on time. They'd be fine together for an hour or two," Arthur said - always the practical one. Joan rolled her eyes at his thinking about what the arrangement did to benefit him, but she couldn't help but grin at him too.

"Thank you," she said softly as she took his hand and led him back out to the living room. When everyone looked up at them as they re-entered the room, Arthur put the plan on the table - asking if Caroline and Ron would consider having Sarah come stay with them for the rest of the school year. Joan chimed in explaining how this could help Sarah out of her sticky situation at school in NYC, and it would relieve Caroline and Ron of having to worry about Sarah when they had to do so much worrying about Caroline's condition, and that Maia, Arthur and she would be delighted to have Sarah stay with them. Over the next few hours they all hashed out the details, and the next morning Joan and Arthur, and Caroline and Ron both sat down separately with their own daughters to explain the situation and see what they each thought about Sarah moving to DC for the rest of 6th grade. By lunch the plan was set, and Sarah had asked if she could move immediately, even though Caroline still had two weeks before she'd start serious treatment. Apparently Sarah's school situation was a little more of a mess than anyone knew, and so the next week was spent getting Sarah packed up, enrolled in Maia's school and settled in their house.

Taking advantage of a quiet night Joan and Arthur were curled up on the sofa watching episodes of Scandal they'd missed earlier in the year. Sarah was moving in the next afternoon, and Maia had been in her room all evening facetiming with her friends. "So tomorrow we have two tweenagers in the house," Arthur said to Joan. She raised her eyebrows at him and laughed a little at him, "Tweenagers? Arthur - did you just learn that word?" His eyes sparkled as he kissed her, "Yeah. Apparently that's what they call this time between childhood and total teenage drama."

"Yeah. Two tweenagers as of tomorrow," Joan said then in agreement, "I hope it's not drama, I mean it shouldn't be. They're both good kids."

Before Arthur could respond Maia walked into the room, and took a flying leap onto the sofa. Crashing into Arthur's side, he played like he was injured by his daughter. "Dad, stop - you so are not hurt! I barely touched you!" she cried out as she laughed. Arthur responded by tousling her hair, which was greeted with Maia turning dad into a two syllable word, "Da-ad!"

"Hey - you do a ninja move onto the sofa and crash into me, and I get to respond a little!" Arthur joked back at her.

"Okay fine," Maia agreed as she snuggled into his left side. From his right side Joan smiled up at him, "Do you think she wants something, or do you think your tweenaged daughter just wants to cuddle?"

"I'm pretty sure it's cuddling," Arthur said back to Joan as his eyes twinkled - all without looking at Maia, who then snuggled in closer.

"Yup," Maia said, "Well - and I was thinking about Sarah moving in tomorrow. Where's she going to live? - like what room?"

"I thought we'd put her in one of the guest rooms upstairs," Arthur thought out loud.

"Do you have thoughts on where she should live?" Joan asked Maia, guessing that was actually why Maia was asking the question.

"Weellll," Maia started, "I was thinking maybe she could stay in my room with me. I mean we could like share."

"Are you sure you would really want to share your room, your bathroom, everything with Sarah? I know you two get along really well, but you've never shared a room before and we have extra space for her," Joan questioned her daughter, because she thought that it probably wasn't the best idea. Still she wanted Maia to decide on her own that she didn't really want to share a room.

"It'd be fun - it'd be like a slumber party every day," Maia reasoned.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Arthur broke in, "Mai I think she should get her own room. You all need time to just be on your own and sleep, rather than staying up all night talking or fooling around." Joan nodded, and inside was really glad that Arthur was the one to say no rather than her. All too often she felt like she was the bad cop in their parenting duo, so it was nice for Arthur to have to be the one to put his foot down on this one.

"You can sleep over in each other's rooms on the weekends," Joan offered, "But I think your dad is right Maia."

"Awww," Maia started but then switched tactics, "Okay. So that's Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights?"

"Nice try," Joan said smiling but giving her daughter a don't-push-your-luck-look from her position on the other side of Arthur.

"Fine - Friday and Saturday?" Maia suggested.

"Definitely," both of her parents agreed.

Change was coming. Both Arthur and Joan were happy that Maia was so excited about her cousin moving in with them, but they both also were wondering how they'd balance two girls and their jobs. Plus Sarah didn't know what Arthur and Joan did, and that was a secret that Maia was also going to have to keep. Living together was really going to make that a challenge for everyone.

Caroline and Ron spent two nights with the Joan and Arthur so that they could be there as Sarah transitioned into life with the Campbells. Honestly, however, there wasn't much of a transition that happened. Sarah seemed to fit right in and she and Maia seemed ecstatic to not be only children. They were together constantly, and Maia had already introduced Sarah to her school friends on facetime, and Joan and Arthur agreed to host a sleep over before winter break ended so that Sarah could meet some of the girls in person before she started at school.

A month into the new living arrangement everything seemed to be going almost suspiciously smoothly. One thing that was an unexpected benefit of having two girls in the house was that Arthur and Joan actually ended up with more alone time. Sarah and Maia kept each other occupied, studying together, watching TV together, and hanging out together. Although they still all had lively dinners together whenever possible, the girls would last for about an hour before excusing themselves and dashing off together, leaving Arthur and Joan to have another glass of wine and catch up with each other. As Arthur slipped into bed beside his wife one night he commented on this situation. "Maybe we should have had a second kid. Can you imagine how much more time we'd have had to do things like this?" he said as he pulled Joan toward him and planted a soft, slow kiss on her lips. She laughed but kissed him back, and as she let him kiss her neck and then a little lower onto her chest, she murmured to him, "Well I guess we have some lost time to make up for huh?" He just kissed her in response, so she took that as a yes and rolled him onto his back so she could help him make up for that lost time.


	8. Growing Up is Hard for Parents?

Chapter 8: Growing Up is Hard for Parents?

"There you all are," Arthur commented as he entered the home office he usually only shared with his wife. But this Sunday afternoon Maia and Sarah were both settled into the sofa doing some homework while Joan was doing some work as her World Bank cover identity. The three occupants of the room looked up at him and smiled. Plunking himself down between the two girls, Arthur got a reaction out of them, "Daaaddd!" "Uncle Arthurrr!" as his sitting down sent their notes toward him. He just smiled as he asked them both, "So what are you working on?"

"We were working on our social studies homework, but I'm pretty sure you just sat on The Civil Rights movement," Maia explained with a flash of a smile.

"Well we can't have that now can we," Arthur said as he got up and fished out the papers he'd sat on.

"Uh. Thanks Uncle Arthur," Sarah responded when he handed her the now crinkled paper.

"I think I'll just go over and do some of my own work," he said smiling at the girls, "I'll leave you to The Civil Rights homework."

The two girls both went back to typing, and Arthur settled himself at his own desk that was across the room from Joan's. She looked up at him and smiled at him as he sat down, and he smiled back making a quick eye gesture toward his computer. She responded by making sure the volume was off on her computer.

Clicking the keys on his keyboard, Arthur logged into his computer and messaged Joan, "Hey. What are you working on?"

Silently a notification came up on her computer screen and she clicked over to it and responded, "World Bank stuff." After sending that message she sent another one, "Do you actually have work to do, or are you just being mischievous?"

She flicked back to her work screen after sending those messages while Arthur keyed in his responses to her.

"How much more work do you think the girls have to do?" - The next message came across the screen.

"I don't know, but it's a pretty big project. They've been working on it for the last two hours - so maybe another hour or two?" Joan guessed.

"Why do you have a plan?" she then sent to him.

All she got back was a smiley face. Arthur logged off and got up to head out of the room. Stopping to check in with the girls, he asked them a little about what they were working on, and how much more they had to do. & it seemed like Joan's guess was a pretty accurate one.

Curious about what was on her husband's mind, Joan followed him a few minutes after, wishing the girls good luck on the rest of their project as she left the office.

Finding her husband in the kitchen pouring them each a glass of wine, she rolled her eyes at him but also leaned in to kiss him lightly on the cheek. "It's only 4 o'clock," she commented as she picked up the glass he pushed toward her.

"Cheers!" he said, clinking his glass into hers.

"What are we toasting?" she asked him.

"I don't know - that we have two kids right now who keep each other so occupied doing good things that we can have a quiet glass of wine at 4 o'clock on a Sunday afternoon," he told her as he raised his glass and took a drink.

Joan looked at him as he took the swig of wine. She smiled, but averted her eyes. This tiny action, or reaction, caught Arthur's attention. They'd had a great past two months with Sarah, and with Maia and Sarah. Everyone seemed happy. Maia didn't mind as much when he and Joan worked late or long weeks that ran into weekends. He and Joan hadn't had as much time for just themselves since before Maia was born, and they filled up that time nicely. But when she didn't seem to be relishing in the freedom to drink together on a Sunday afternoon Arthur was surprised. "Something wrong Joan," he asked her.

She shook her head and took a drink of the wine in her glass. Arthur moved toward her. Setting his glass down he hugged her from behind and kissed her neck. "I know you. I know something's wrong. What's up?" he asked again.

"It's nothing really," Joan said to him. She had to admit that she also was really enjoying the fact that with Sarah living with them, she had to worry significantly less about Maia feeling alone. In fact Maia seemed to be happier than ever. Admitting that this was maybe the problem made Joan feel incredibly selfish and needy, and at least the latter characteristic was something that she never aspired to have describe her.

He kissed her again, and whispered to her, "I don't believe you."

She turned around then, setting her own glass on the counter behind her. "Well, I think it's just that as nice as it's been to have so much time just the two of us, I do kind of miss feeling like Maia needs us."

Arthur's blue eyes went wide at Joan's statement, "I thought that's what you always wanted - for Maia to not feel so left out by us? For her to feel secure?"

"I did. I do. I'm happy that she's happy, but I just also miss getting to hear more about her life from her directly, and about her just being okay with us coming and going," Joan explained, and then confessed, "I know it does seem weird."

Arthur hugged her into him, and tried to reassure that Maia still needed her, and would probably really need her once Sarah eventually moved back to NYC at the end of the school year. Joan's sister seemed to be responding well to the treatments, and so the plan now was that Sarah would finish out the school year in DC, and go back up to New York twice to interview for high schools, and continue to go up and back two weekends a month to see her parents. Joan let Arthur hug her and feel like he was comforting her. She knew he was trying his best, and even she was surprised at how much she missed her regular Maia time. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy having Sarah around too, but the whole dynamic was different - better in some ways, but Joan felt distance growing between herself and Maia. She hoped it was as Arthur predicted - temporary - but she couldn't be sure. & not being sure was something that never sat well with Joan Campbell.

Later that night after the girls had gone to bed, Joan slipped into her daughter's darkened bedroom. Maia had always had an active imagination, and so she'd never liked the idea of sleeping in pitch black. & even now as an 11 year old, she slept with her night light on. Perching herself on the arm chair in which she'd read Maia stories as a little girl, Joan watched her growing up daughter sleep. She seemed so peaceful in her sleep. Joan was remembering some sweet moments from Maia's childhood, when Maia's sleep filled voice broke through her thoughts, "Mom? Is everything okay?"

Maia hadn't even opened her eyes, "How'd you know it was me?" Joan asked her.

"I can smell your perfume," Maia mumbled - her eyes still closed.

Joan smiled to herself, "Oh," she said, "Everything is fine - I just was watching you sleep."

Maia opened one eye, "That's kind of creepy mom."

"I know. I just missed you and wanted to sit near you for a little while," Joan explained, knowing as she said it that it didn't make much sense at all - especially to her daughter.

"Still a little weird mom, but okay," Maia whispered as she closed her eyes, and sighed a little as she let sleep take over her again.

Joan watched contentedly for a few more moments. She was growing up and Joan had to admit that Maia was a good kid. Her own earlier fears about growing distant from Maia were maybe unfounded - maybe it was just all part of her daughter growing up. Joan supposed that was what was supposed to happen - kids replace their parents are their primary confidantes with their own peers, and the fact that Maia's closest friends were her cousin and some other good kids from school really left Joan little room to worry. Getting up from the chair, Joan crossed the few feet between herself and Maia's bed. Leaning over her daughter, she ran her fingers through Maia's hair and leaned over whispering "Love you," in Maia's ear before kissing her gently on the cheek and slipping back out of her bedroom.

The next morning Joan got up earlier than the rest of her family, as per usual. As she was waiting for the coffee to brew she saw a little note on the kitchen table for her.

Mom -

How about a little mother-daughter lunch on Saturday? I know Sarah is going home this weekend so maybe you and I can hang out a little when I'm not sleeping.

Have a good day!

Love,

Maia

Joan chuckled to herself as she read the note written in Maia's exceptionally neat script. She also wondered when her daughter had left her the note. She didn't usually see Maia in the morning, since she was up and out the door before Maia's alarm even went off. Quietly letting herself into Maia's room she could see that her daughter was still sleeping. Joan scribbled a little note on the back of Maia's note - It's a date! Love you, Mom. She left the note on the pillow next to Maia's and then slipped back out.

"What were you doing?" Arthur asked her suspiciously as she emerged from Maia's room.

"Leaving her a note," Joan replied still smiling from Maia's thoughtfulness. When she noticed that Arthur still looked confused she explained, "She left me a note about having a lunch date on Saturday, so I just wanted to let her know that I accepted.

"See!" Arthur exclaimed, as she leaned into Joan and kissed her.

"Maybe I was too quick to judge," Joan admitted as she kissed Arthur back. He just looked at her, "So you're saying I was right?" he asked.

"I'm saying I was too quick to judge," Joan said, as she broke away from Arthur and went back to the kitchen and her coffee. Arthur rolled his eyes at her response, but he knew what it meant. He was right. He savored that thought for a moment. It was rare that this was the situation, and so smiling to himself he headed toward the kitchen to find his wife and rub in his rightness a little more.


	9. Mr Mom

At first Arthur thought that Maia's gesture of a lunch date had helped things out between her and Joan - at least in Joan's mind. Arthur was fairly sure that Maia didn't think there was anything wrong with her relationship with her mother, and that Joan was just being overly worried that maybe Maia was too content, too happy, just because she didn't need her mother as much right now. But after that lunch date life had just gotten busy, and Joan had been embroiled in a situation at work with two of her operatives. It was a mission gone wrong, and after multiple attempts at extraction one of them had been captured and it had taken awhile and lot of bargaining to get a workable extraction plan. The whole situation had kept Joan at work for long hours for the better part of two weeks. At first it was just Joan and the DPD working on the situation, but after the operative was captured Arthur had to get involved too - and so Joan and Arthur were both at the Agency at all hours across the better part of two weeks. During this time the girls were either in the care of each other, or the Campbell's trusted school-year babysitter, Ally, the daughter of one of Joan's friends.

At the start of the whole situation it was just Joan working late, so Arthur had been in charge of getting home to have dinner with the girls, oversee any homework they hadn't finished, and get the girls to bed. Arthur wasn't used to playing this role; usually he was the one working late and Joan was the one home being the parent to Maia. Now it was Arthur and two eleven year old girls. When Arthur got home the first night, he could hear the girls' laughter coming out of Maia's room. Heading down the hall toward her bedroom he found them dressed in crazy outfits dancing to some awful music coming out of Maia's computer, and laughing at themselves. "Hey girls," he called out to them.

Leaping across the room toward him, Maia and Sarah both greeted him enthusiastically, "Where's mom?" Maia asked.

"She's working late, it's just the three of us tonight," Arthur told her as he couldn't help but stare at the outfits the girls were in. "What in the world are you two doing?" Arthur finally asked - letting his curiosity get the better of him.

"Dancing!" Maia explained - as she tried to show him a dance routine that was on YouTube - with people dressed crazy like she and Sarah were, "Want to learn Dad?"

Arthur chuckled and thanked the girls for the invitation but thought he was maybe too old for dancing; he'd probably just throw out his back. He tried to leave then, but the girls both grabbed onto his arms, and begged him to try. Realizing he probably wasn't going to get out of the dancing lesson, he surrendered and joined the girls in dancing around the room. They tried to show him what he was supposed to be doing, but he wasn't catching on, and he tried to show them what real dancing looked like - which they thought looked boring. After about 10 minutes of the dancing craziness, Arthur finally extracted himself, telling them he was going to go change and get dinner ready.

"Can your dad cook?" Sarah asked her cousin.

"I don't think so," Maia said, "I mean he thinks he can grill, but it's really just him telling my mom when the grill is ready, and then she directs everything." Sarah laughed and agreed that it was the same with her parents.

"Do you think this means we can have pizza?" Sarah asked as she gave Maia a look that said - let's try to make that happen. Maia saw the look and in a moment they were both dashing down the hall calling for Arthur.

He met them in the hallway, "Wow. What's so important that you need to make this much noise?" he asked them with a grin on his face. Joan hated when he yelled things to her or to Maia through the house, rather than going to find either of them to just talk to them in a regular tone of voice. She thought it was lazy and impolite to just yell for people. Unfortunately for her, Arthur had never really broken himself of the habit, and Maia had taken after him. Still as Joan's husband, Arthur had tried to support her wish that Maia not holler for people all over the house, but it had been hard for him to be too serious about it since he did it himself. Pointing out her volume level was about as serious as he could be about enforcing Joan's wishes.

Maia grinned at her dad, "Da-ad - mom's not here, you don't have to pretend that it's not OK to yell." Arthur laughed and grinned back at his daughter. "Fine - but don't tell your mother that we do this when she's not here," his brilliant blue eyes sparkling.

Sarah looked at Maia and then at Arthur, and back and forth once again. Even though she'd been living with the Campbells for nearly four months, she continued to be surprised by the dynamics in their family. She knew that they all loved each other - that was totally clear from the way they interacted with each other. But the way that Maia talked to her dad about her mom was always surprising. There was never really any malice there, but they seemed to have their own little alliance to act a certain way with Joan, but know that when she wasn't there they could be different. Sarah wasn't sure if this was a good or bad thing, but it caught her off guard whenever it happened.

"Can we have pizza?" Maia asked her dad as Sarah nodded her head vigorously in agreement.

"Why? You don't think I can cook?!" Arthur responded as he feigned shock.

"Not really," Maia said, "I mean unless it's pancakes."

Arthur chuckled. His daughter knew him too well. And honestly even when he made pancakes for breakfast, he just followed the directions on the pancake mix box. He informed the girls that he'd already placed the pizza order and that they had about 45 minutes until it arrived. The girls greeted this news with cheers that were only dampened when he asked them about their homework.

"All done," both the girls responded. He looked at them for a moment trying to assess if it was true. He knew that it probably was; both girls were pretty honest, but they were so hyper he wondered if they had been able to sit down long enough to do anything like schoolwork.

"We're telling the truth Uncle Arthur," Sarah piped up.

"Okay then," Arthur told them both - let's go set the table and get everything ready so we can eat right when the pizza gets here. With both girls still in their dance "costumes" the three of them headed into the kitchen to set the table and put together a salad. Maia got out drinks - a beer for Arthur and sodas for the girls since Joan wasn't home to make them drink milk or water.

"Are you sure it's okay that we have soda?" Sarah quietly asked her cousin when Maia reached into the fridge and grabbed two cans of coke. Maia looked at her cousin with a look that said, "Of course."

"I mean - I thought you were only allowed milk or water at dinner," Sarah explained, still unsure of whether or not she should take the coke that Maia was trying to hand off to her.

"Just when my mom is home. My dad doesn't pay attention to that sort of thing," Maia said, urging Sarah to take the can of soda from her.

"Okay," Sarah said taking the soda, "You and your dad are funny."

"Hey - don't mess with something that's good for us!" Maia said to her cousin as she reached back into the fridge to grab salad dressing options. Sarah just smiled as she popped open the tab on her soda and took a big gulp. Once everything was set, the three of them sat around the table with their drinks and Arthur asked them questions about their day, and tried to quiz Sarah to see if Maia had any secret boyfriends at school she wasn't telling him about. This line of questioning got a lot of shrieks and giggles out of the girls - neither of whom had boyfriends, or honestly any interest in having boyfriends at this point. Arthur knew this, which made asking the questions even more fun. When the pizza delivery guy rang their doorbell, Maia and Sarah raced to the door to get the pizza with Arthur chasing after them with the money to pay for it.

Over pizza the threesome continued to tease each other, and their laughter kept going right through cleaning up the kitchen. When Arthur looked at the clock and saw that it was already 8:30, he hurried the girls along to start getting ready for bed. It was still early for them to actually go to bed and they protested, but he needed a little time to just breathe and relax. So he sent them off to get cleaned up and into their pajamas, promising them they could then come back out and watch TV until bedtime in another hour. As they took off to their respective rooms, Arthur just shook his head. Those girls were a lot of fun, but they were also a lot of energy.

As the days passed and he continued to be Mr. Mom, he started to see how Joan felt. It wasn't that the girls were bad, but switching gears from a stressful work situation to being a parent to two high energy girls with only a trip on congested roads in between was exhausting.

On day four, over Chinese take out dinner, Sarah had asked Arthur, "What's Aunt Joan doing that she can't ever come home?" Maia looked down at her food as she waited to hear what her dad would say.

Trying to deflect the question Arthur just said, "I don't really know, just a busy time at the bank now - there are some crazy deadlines or something."

"You don't know what Aunt Joan does?" Sarah asked incredulously, "But she's your wife."

"Well I guess I should say that I don't entirely understand what your Aunt Joan does," Arthur said as he reached his chopsticks into another box to grab some more lo mein, "I mean I don't really understand all the banking stuff she's doing, I don't have that kind of brain." That was actually pretty true. Arthur was a big picture kind of guy who excelled at politicking. Joan, on the other hand, had an eye for details in life and at work, and she was a perfectionist. Banking or some kind of financial job would have suited her well if she hadn't joined the Agency.

"Oh," Sarah said, seemingly mollified by her uncle's explanation.

"Dad, does that mean that Mom is smarter than you?" Maia asked teasingly. She figured this question was a good, fun, jab at her dad, and also a question that could keep Sarah off her own line of questioning.

Arthur playfully glared at his daughter and then surprised her by admitting, "Probably."-an answer that shocked and then delighted his daughter.

"I must take after mom then huh," Maia declared as she giggled.

"Thank goodness right?" her dad said as he raised a furry eyebrow at her and gave her a half smile.

"Aw you're not that bad Uncle Arthur," Sarah joined in, trying to take both sides at the same time.

"Thanks Sar," Arthur responded as he nodded his head accepting the partial compliment.

The next day was the day that Joan's operative was captured and Arthur was pulled into the long hours that Joan and the DPD had been keeping. Ally greeted the girls that afternoon as she let them know that she'd be hanging out with them for the next few days while the Campbells were both working. Ally knew that Maia and Sarah were at that age where they felt like they were too old for a babysitter, but their parents disagreed - and so Ally tried to call her job "hanging out" with them, rather than babysitting them. The girls didn't seem to mind the first few days with Ally. They'd been busy with school the first day, and then over the weekend they were wrapped up with their friends, and just hanging out with each other. But as the days stretched on Sarah started to voice some concerns. "Do your parents both have to work like this a lot?" she'd asked Maia.

Maia nodded and told her, "Sometimes."

"But they work at different places. Couldn't your mom come home now that your dad has to be in so much?" Sarah pressed her cousin.

"Sometimes that happens," Maia tried to explain nonchalantly, "But you know what my dad said - my mom has deadlines, so she can't take off. & I guess stuff just got busy at my dad's work." Maia hoped this would stop Sarah's questioning. She didn't like lying to her cousin, but she knew she had to. Still this was the first real test Maia was experiencing in how well she could keep her parents' secret, and she was nervous that he would slip up.

Sarah was quiet for a minute and Maia let herself feel relieved. "How's your mom doing?" Maia asked directing the conversation away from her own parents. The girls talked about Sarah's parents then, and from there moved away from the subject of parents altogether. They stayed away from the parent subject for another day before Sarah raised the issue again asking Maia, "How much longer do you think your parents will be at work?"

Maia knew that Sarah didn't mean that question in terms of hours til they came home that night, but rather how many more days or weeks they'd keep working nearly around the clock. She shrugged. She really didn't know. "Maybe just a little longer?" she'd offered up, "Usually it's not more than two weeks or so when this sort of thing happens."

Sarah's mouth dropped open, "Maia! How often are they working like this?!"

Maia didn't know that two weeks of this would sound long to other people. She'd definitely agreed that this situation wasn't ideal, and she knew how much she normally didn't like it when she went days and weeks without seeing her parents at all. But having Sarah here with her made it seem not lonely. And really, as much as she didn't like it when her parents' work took over everything, it also was just part of the rhythm of her life and her family. Seeing Sarah's reaction, however, gave Maia pause. Maybe it was weird? Before she'd have described the situation as lonely, sucky, or something that she didn't like, but she wouldn't have thought of it was weird. Sarah's shock and judgement about the situation made Maia feel a little validated for how she'd felt in the past when she spent long periods feeling parentless. That all said, Maia also didn't want to continue down this road - in her own mind or with her cousin. Mentally trying to figure out what to say without looking a wreck Maia rolled her eyes, "Sarah do you miss my parents?" She hoped it came out a little teasingly.

Sarah glared at her, "No! I mean yeah, but I mean don't you think it's too much work? Two weeks is like half a month. If they do this a lot that means you're home alone for like months of life!"

Maia had never thought of it that way, and that way sounded pretty bad. Still she was trying to keep up appearances so she shrugged her shoulders, "I'm not alone. You're here. And when you're not Ally or Kelly - one of them is here."

"So you're okay with it?" Sarah asked, still sounding suspicious that anyone could be okay with this arrangement.

"I guess, I mean it's not like they're gone like this all the time. You've been here since Christmas and this is the first time it's been long like this," Maia said trying to convince her cousin to calm down. Inside Maia wanted to agree with her cousin; it sucked when her parents were gone like this. And inside she was a little stunned at the math that Sarah did that made Maia suddenly feel like she'd been neglected. Rationally she knew that wasn't true. She knew her parents loved her, and she knew her parents did everything within reason to be good parents to her. But none of that reason helped Maia feel less sad and alone about the situation. Still, telling Sarah she agreed wasn't going to help anything, so Maia went for the nonchalant answer to try to get Sarah to drop the subject, "It's not that big of a deal, Sar."

"I guess," Sarah said - though without a lot of certainty behind the words.

"I don't think I'd want either of their jobs," Sarah continued after a few moments of silence. Maia just smiled at her cousin as if to suggest she agreed - but she wasn't totally in agreement. She knew her parents liked their jobs and she still thought it was pretty cool that they were spies.

When Ally sent the girls off to bed that night, Maia couldn't sleep. She lay there in the partial darkness of her bedroom thinking about what Sarah had said, and the looks on her face when Maia explained what she thought was just part of the routine in her family - albeit not the best part of her family. Maia wanted her cousin to not bring anything up about her parents again, but Maia also knew that the real issue was that she felt like part of her agreed with her cousin and she didn't know how to feel about that. She wished she had someone to talk to, but the only people she could talk to were her parents, and of course, they weren't there. Sighing to herself she flopped onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She was definitely not sleepy. And she felt really alone in the secret she was keeping. At some point she must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew, her alarm was going off. Hitting the snooze button so that she could shut off the noise and give herself a minute to get up and get her fingers awake enough to actually turn the alarm off, Maia tried to psych herself up for the day. She was tired from not enough sleep and too much worry. Too bad it was only Wednesday. Making her way into the kitchen, she found both of her parents there. Her mother was packing up lunches for everyone as her father flipped through the paper. Hearing someone else come into the kitchen, Joan turned around to find her daughter there - still clad in her pajamas.

"Morning Maia!" she said to her cheerfully as she also looked at her outfit, "What's up?" Maia usually wasn't up this early. Internally Joan tried to not to let herself worry that there was a problem.

"Morning mom," Maia replied, her voice still sleepy sounding. Sliding onto a chair at the island, Maia blinked her eyes a few times. Arthur had put his paper down when he heard Joan greet Maia, and she came up and kissed her on the head before he excused himself to shower and himself ready to go, so he could then oversee breakfast and getting the girls off the school.

"You're up early," Joan said to her daughter - trying to nudge her into saying why she was up this early. It was a full 45 minutes before Maia was usually up.

Maia nodded and told her mother, "I just wanted to see you before you went to work."

"Is that all?" Joan asked her daughter, studying her now to try to assess if that really was all.

"How much longer mom?" Maia finally asked.

Joan knew just what Maia meant, and she hated that she couldn't answer her definitely. "Hopefully not much longer at all," she tried to say reassuringly.

Maia sighed, "Best case scenario?"

"Two or three days," Joan guessed, the upward lilt at the end of the statement making Maia sure that her mom really was just hoping this and couldn't say with any amount of certainty.

Maia nodded as she took in the information. Two or three days. If that's really all it was, it meant that her family would be back to normal over the weekend, and she could work with that. Taking a deep breath then and putting on a smile she nodded her head again - mostly confirming to herself that yes, she could make it. Joan watched her daughter obviously having an internal conversation with herself, and she couldn't help but smile at the way her daughter was psyching herself up. Leaning across the island to kiss her on the forehead, Joan wished her daughter a good day at school. Then she picked up the lunches that were for the girls and Arthur and popped them in the fridge as she grabbed her own and made her way toward the door, her car, and back to Langley. Sitting alone at the island, Maia tried to decide if it was better to go back to bed for a little while, or what. She decided against sleep, and made her way down the hall to her parents bedroom. Lightly knocking on the door, she listened to see if she could still hear her dad's shower running. She got her answer when Arthur opened the door to her in a t-shirt and pants. "Can I hang out with you while you get ready?" she asked her dad as she surprised him by throwing her arm around him in a hug.

He smiled down at her head and told her to come on in, but that now that she was there she'd have to help him make the bed. She pulled away from him and rolled her eyes, but went to help him anyways. Once the bed was made she flopped onto it while her dad got himself fully dressed and ready to go. Maia didn't say anything to her dad, she was content to just be near him right now. She was still mentally working through what had happened with Sarah the day before, and she was still not sure how she felt about anything other than that she did miss her parents. Arthur went about his business while Maia sat there. He wondered what was up with her, but figured that she'd talk when she was ready. And she did. "Dad, when do you think you and mom will be back to normal?" she asked him as he was putting on a tie.

"Soon I think," Arthur said to her, letting his reflection in the mirror in front of him make eye contact with her.

"How soon?" she asked back softly.

"Maybe a few days? I hope I'm back to normal tonight though," he told her.

Maia's eyebrows raised in excitement and surprise in response, as she asked him "Really?"

He nodded and watched her in the mirror. She seemed good with that answer and she didn't ask anymore questions, so he finished up with his tie, checked on the time, and then sent her scurrying back to her own room to get ready for school, telling her that if she hurried they probably would have time to make pancakes for breakfast before he had to take her and Sarah to school.

Later that day, asthe girls filed out of school both of them were scanning the cars out front for whoever it was that was picking them up. Sarah spotted Ally first. "Over there," Sarah called out to Maia pointing toward Ally's car. "You think your parents will make it home tonight?" Sarah asked Maia as they headed over to Ally's car.

"Maybe," Maia said a little distractedly. She was still caught up in her thoughts about how her family might be weird, and whether she should feel more frustrated than she did about her parents work schedule. She recalled how she'd gotten so mad at her dad over the summer, and how he'd come home and talked to her. He really didn't try to be absent, Maia thought. Neither of her parents did. It was just hard to have spy parents. She also remembered that she'd promised her dad that the next time she was feeling hurt or frustrated that she'd talk to him about it. But now that it was that time, she didn't know how she'd bring it up, or when she'd have the chance to, and so she tried to push that thought away.

"You okay?" Sarah asked her cousin as she noticed that she was lagging behind.

"Oh yeah," Maia said snapping herself out of her own thinking, "Sorry I was just thinking."

Sarah smiled and rolled her eyes as she reached out for Maia's hand. "Come on Mai," Sarah said to her as she led her over to Ally and her waiting car. "Hey little ladies!" Ally greeted them as they slid into the backseat, "How was school?" & that was all that the girls seemed to need to get started talking and giggling and forgetting for a little bit about Maia's parents.

The girls had snacks and blew through their homework. Maia still couldn't get her head to quiet down, so she suggested tennis. Ally grabbed her keys and drove the girls to the tennis club, where they went at it for 9 games before Ally suggested that they head home for dinner since the sun was nearly completely gone. The girls pushed her to let them play one game more. Ally agreed begrudgingly, and after it was over she loaded them back in the car and headed home.

The girls burst through the front door, tossing their tennis gear to the floor and heading for the kitchen for some water and to see what was in the fridge that they could eat. Close on their heels Ally called after them to make sure they came out to pick up their tennis stuff after they got some water. The Campbell house was always immaculate, and Ally wanted to make sure it stayed that way on her watch.

"Thanks Ally," Arthur said surprising the poor girl. "I'll take their stuff for them," he offered as he reached down to pick up the tennis bags. Joan's extraction plan had finally been worked out and was on track, and so he was off the hook. It would still be a day or two before Joan could close out the operation, but Arthur was off the hook and no longer integral to the actual implementation of the final stages of the extraction plan. Consequently, he was back to Mr. Mom duties.

Ally watched Arthur take their stuff and head down the hall, depositing the bags in Maia's room before coming back to pay Ally and thank her for being with the girls all afternoon and for the last while. Then he made his way into the kitchen to surprise the girls.

"Hey!" he called out to them, "What's for dinner?"

The girls both laughed at him and told him that was his job. He sat down at the table with them and whipped out his phone, "Well then I guess I better make some calls," he told them as he scrolled through delivery options.

As two freshly showered girls joined him for a dinner of delivery Thai food, Arthur peppered them with questions about school. When there was a break in the conversation Sarah asked Arthur pointedly, "Uncle Arthur what kind of work were you doing that you had to stay so long at work?"

Arthur, ever the suave, cool, and collected conversationalist told his niece that there had been a situation with some clients that he'd had to work pretty hard to diffuse, and that he'd love to tell her all the crazy details but it was privileged information. Sarah knew enough about privileged information given that her own father was a lawyer, so she went with that explanation alright. As Maia started to relax, Sarah then asked Arthur, "Do you have to work long hours like that a lot?" And then after he'd answered similarly to how Maia had been answering that question - by telling her sometimes, Sarah pushed him further, "What about Aunt Joan and Maia? Don't you think it's hard to be a family when you guys aren't together?"

Arthur studied his niece before answering, wondering what was bringing these questions up. She asked so earnestly that he felt like she honestly wanted to know, but why? -because she and her parents weren't living together right now? Because she didn't like how he and Joan had been so absent lately? Was she asking for Maia? Unable to figure out what was going on behind Sarah's question he decided to just answer her as directly and honestly as possible by saying, "Sure - it's hard to be away from them so much, but we have all tried really hard to prioritize family in different ways so that we get quality time together, and your Aunt Joan and I can do our jobs."

Sarah thought about this for a moment and then seemed to just wonder aloud, "Couldn't you guys bring your work home sometimes?" When her uncle didn't answer her right away, and Maia glared at her a little, Sarah thought maybe she had stepped over a line. Back pedaling she tried again, "Sorry Uncle Arthur, I mean I know you guys are a good family, it's just weird to me to have parents who go away like you and Aunt Joan have. I'm just not used to it is all."

Arthur smiled at her, "It's okay Sarah. You're asking fair questions. We can't bring our work home because it's sensitive or privileged information - you know with banking and legal information. We don't like to stay at work any more than you've liked us to be at work all the time. It's just the way our jobs are sometimes. We'd definitely rather be home with you two, but we also really like our jobs and they take a lot of time sometimes, but not always."

Sarah nodded and didn't press anymore. Arthur looked at her as she sat there and thought maybe he should ask her if she was wondering anything about her own family since she was spending so much time down in DC and away from her parents. But then he thought maybe she wouldn't want to talk to him about that. He was the fun uncle, but he didn't actually have a relationship with Sarah that involved a lot of shared confidences. Arthur wished Joan wasn't at work right now so that she could ask these questions or decide what they should do to check in on Sarah. So he didn't ask anything, and instead offered the girls more food. Maia rolled her eyes at her dad, but also gladly took more food. All that tennis had made her hungry.

After he'd said goodnight to the girls, Arthur went into the home office he shared with Joan and dialed her office number. The two exchanged some pleasantries and wished each other good night. Arthur then did a little straightening up of the kitchen, before deciding he'd leave his wife a little love note. Although they'd technically been sleeping together every night, it was only in the very literal sense - sleeping beside each other. And even this activity was brief with the hours Joan had been keeping. Cutting a heart out of some computer paper, he scribbled down a message telling her that he hoped they'd be able to spend more time in bed together soon. Then he drew two stick figures - one with long hair and the other with thick eyebrows; the little stick figure drawings had been his signature way of signing all the birthday and anniversary cards he'd given her. Smiling to himself at his own romantic side he headed toward his bedroom where he planned to tape the note to the bathroom mirror so Joan would be sure to see it.

Entering his room, however, he saw a little Maia sized lump in his bed. Setting the note down on the dresser he then crossed the room to sit next to Maia. "I thought I put you to bed," he said to her as he slipped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.

"Yeah. I got up and came in here," she said.

Arthur laughed at how literal she still was sometimes. "What's going on Maia?" he asked his daughter. Given how clingy she'd been in the morning, he figured that something was up.

Resting her head on her dad's chest, Maia asked him, "Remember this summer? - how you said I should just tell you if I was frustrated or hurt by you or mom and the work stuff?" She paused there waiting for him to acknowledge this experience. When her dad replied in the affirmative, Maia continued, "Well I'm confused, and I thought I should tell you."

Arthur sort of expected her to say more, so when she didn't he had to figure out how to proceed. "What are you confused about?"

Maia thought about her answer for a moment, biting her bottom lip as she thought. Finally she sighed deeply and then in a rush told her dad, "Sarah's been asking a lot of questions about you and mom, and why I'm not like mad or stuff that you're gone a lot because she thinks it's a lot, and that makes me think that maybe there is something weird about us, but I don't actually think that. I mean I wish you guys didn't disappear at work like you have lately, but I know why and it's logically okay with me, but I feel confused because I also feel like some of what she says is right."

As she paused to breath, Arthur said to her, "Ah. Yeah. Your cousin has had a lot of questions lately." When Joan had these types of conversations with Maia she asked a lot of questions to try to help Maia figure out what she was thinking or feeling. Arthur was more directive in his approach. "Maia," he said, "You're allowed to feel okay with something but still not like it."

"I know," she finally said quietly. After a moment or two of silence she snuggled into her dad more and told him, "You know I think it was maybe that I just missed you guys too, and it was hard to feel that and keep your secret."

"Well you did a good job," Arthur said to her as she squeezed her in a sitting side hug sort of way. When Maia didn't say anything else, he looked down at her and asked her if she thought she could go back to bed now. She nodded, and so the two of them got up, and he walked her back to her own bedroom. Wishing her a good night (for a second time that night), and closing her bedroom door, Arthur silently sent up a little wish that everything worked out with Joan's stuff tonight so that he'd be back to having a partner for all this parenting.


	10. In these Photographs

_Sorry for the delay in posting. I had family in town, and I had a hard time finding direction for where this was going. _

**Chapter 10**

When she'd finally closed her case it was Saturday night. Quietly slipping into the house that night Joan found Arthur sound asleep on the sofa. Sitting on the arm of the sofa, and running her hand through his hair, she'd woken him, and leaned down to kiss him. She knew she'd awakened him and so she expected him to look tired, but as she took in his face she could see that he was truly exhausted. "Girls a little more work than you thought?" she'd asked him jokingly. He didn't even try to pretend it wasn't true, and just nodded telling her, "I'm so glad you're back."

Joan had pressed him to tell her if something had happened with the girls, but Arthur kept insisting that it had all been par for the course, just tiring. Arthur didn't think she needed to know that Maia had been concerned, because he didn't think it was an issue any longer. Still Arthur couldn't help but hold his breath a little when he woke up to Joan asking Maia what she was doing in their bed the next morning. Evidently they'd both been so exhausted that neither he or Joan felt Maia come in and snuggle into their bed sometime in the middle of the night. Maia just smiled when asked why she was in there, shrugged a little and told her parents, "It just seemed like a nice idea." Arthur grinned then too; he'd been right, she was fine. Then he reached over and tickled her, leading Maia to shriek and Joan to gently admonish them to not wake up Sarah with all their silliness.

After a good Sunday of the girls doing homework while the adults caught up, and then a family dinner and movie night, it seemed like the Campbell household was back to normal. That night as Joan went to say good night to her daughter, she lingered longer than usual. Maia noticed her mother's hesitation but before she was able to ask her mother if anything was wrong, Joan sat down at the foot of Maia's bed and asked her, "Maia was everything okay while your dad was in charge?" Maia looked at her mother and tried to read her face. What was she getting at? Had her dad told her mom about Sarah? Maia let her mind wander a bit before her mother's voice brought her back to reality, "Mai, did something happen?"

This time Maia looked at her mother directly and then away. She shook her head, "Dad got us take out every night he was here, but that was kind of fun."

Joan smiled as she rolled her eyes, before pressing her daughter for more information, "But it was good with him in charge? You were all okay?"

"Yeah mom, it was kind of fun having him around. He doesn't really know what to do with me and Sarah, but he tries really hard." Maia paused momentarily and then added, "It was nice." As she mentally reflected back on the time with her dad in charge, it was nice. It was also definitely different from when her mom was in charge, but it was nice.

"Okay," Joan said quietly, "And you're okay?"

"Mo-om," Maia started with a little bit of attitude. Joan shot her a warning look, and so Maia pulled back the attitude, "Yeah. I'm fine. Promise."

Joan nodded at Maia's response, but then as she went to leave the room, Joan stopped. With her hand on the doorknob, Joan turned back toward her little girl, "I'm glad you're okay Maia, but you know you can tell me if you're not right?" This time it was Maia who nodded in response.

"Okay then," Joan said, "Love you. Sleep well," and with that she let herself out of the room.

Despite what her daughter told her, Joan wasn't able to shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right with her daughter. When she asked Arthur about Maia again, however, he'd rolled his eyes at her, "Joan. She's fine. Her cousin asked her some questions about us working late so much, but I talked to Maia about it and she's fine."

Halfway undressed Joan spun around to face her husband, "Arthur! That's not nothing! I've been asking you if anything happened and you kept saying nothing happened. That's not nothing!"

"It's also not something you need to worry about now. She and I talked, and she's FINE," Arthur said to her firmly, mentally kicking himself for even telling Joan about what seemed like a non-incident to him.

"It's not FINE that she's been covering for us or that she's had to deal with questions Arthur," Joan snapped at him, "She's 11! You need to tell me when things like this happen."

"Things like what?" Arthur asked her, exasperated.

"Things like what happened while I was at work!" Joan tried to quietly yell at him as she became more exasperated that her husband didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

"But NOTHING happened," Arthur explained, losing his cool and raising his voice, "And may I remind you it was you who wanted to put her in this situation to begin with." As he said it, he knew that it was not the right move with his wife. He didn't exactly want to take it back, because he liked to win arguments, but he also really just wanted to go to bed - not fight with his wife over something that wasn't ever a big deal except in her mind.

Joan stopped talking at that point and just stared at him with her icy blue eyes.

"Joan," Arthur tried again, "It's not a big deal. There isn't a problem, so just stop worrying. Maia is fine."

"That's not even the point now Arthur!" Joan said to him through clenched teeth.

"Oh you are seriously not making this into a big deal are you? You've got to be kidding me!" Arthur nearly hollered at her.

"I'm not making this into any kind of deal, Arthur," Joan said with a crescendoing voice, "Maia is ELEVEN. She needs us to protect her and take care of her, and I can't do that if you keep things from me. I can sense that something is wrong, and even though I've asked you, you've withheld information. This is not Langley. Don't tell me you're trying to protect me. Don't try to justify this. It's just wrong." She looked away from him then and shook her head as if she was trying to shake away how she was feeling.

Arthur shook his head too and took a deep breath. "Joan," he started. But she put up her hand and he paused.

"Is there anything else you left out of your report on the time you were in charge of the girls?" she asked him then icily.

"Who is acting like this is Langley now?" he sputtered. When she just glared at him through narrowed eyes he added on, "No. Everything was fine. Didn't you ask the girls?"

When she looked at him she was still mad, but she could see the pleading look in his eyes and she softened enough to admit, "Yes."

"And what did they say?" Arthur pushed her to admit more.

"They said everything was fine," Joan agreed but added, "I'm just not sure I believed them though."

Arthur sighed then and shook his head. "Arthur, I know you did a good job taking care of them, I just feel like they're more unsettled than you recognize," Joan tried to more gently tell him what was on her mind. He just responded by taking his pillow and heading out of the bedroom.

"Arthur?!" she called after him. He didn't turn around; he just told her that he thought that maybe they needed sleep before they could resolve anything.

Defeated she sat down on her bed and punched her pillow a few times. Somehow that was significantly less satisfying than she hoped. Sighing deeply she laid back on the bed. She hadn't meant to make Arthur so mad, or to pick a fight. As Joan laid there it occurred to her that she wasn't mad as much as she was just feeling left out of the loop on her daughter. Joan had always defied expectations, rising to every challenge in life and at Langley. As a mother, however, she'd always felt a little insecure. She'd never been a naturally maternal figure. Of course she loved Maia. In fact she'd been surprised at just how much she felt for her even before she was born. But as an actual mother, Joan was good at all the administrative parts of mothering, but the part where she was on top of how Maia felt and making sure she felt unconditionally loved was harder. Emotions were not something Joan wore on her sleeve and she was naturally critical, but she tried to suspend all that with Maia as much as possible. Maybe Arthur was right and Maia was fine, but she felt bad that she didn't know that Maia had some sort of struggle, and she felt bad that she'd been absent again when Maia maybe needed to talk. Unhappily admitting to herself that perhaps Arthur was right and she was overreacting, she peeled herself off the bed and decided to get herself ready for bed before going out to try to coax Arthur back to their bedroom.

When she was finally ready to go and talk to Arthur she made her way out to the living room, but all she found there was a pillow. Knowing that sometimes Arthur threw himself into work after they'd had an argument, she headed for this home office. It wasn't like Joan to be apologetic, but she genuinely felt bad for how she jumped down Arthur's throat after he had been the good parent, serving as mother and father while she worked for two weeks straight. So - if she was going to apologize, Joan knew it needed to be now - while she was psyched up to do so. But when she went into the office she didn't find Arthur there. Furthermore it looked like no one had been in the room at all that evening. All the computers were sleeping, and the room was untouched. Closing the office door behind her and heading toward the kitchen to see if Arthur was in there, she saw a light coming out from under her daughter's doorway. Taking a deep breath Joan steeled herself for playing at being happy in front of her daughter, all the while coaxing Arthur to come with her so they could talk. Joan had never liked when she and Arthur fought, but she really didn't like the idea of Maia listening to them fight. Arthur felt the same way, and so the two of them had tried hard to not fight in front of her. Still, Maia knew that her parents had spats with each other. But even though Joan knew that Maia knew that they fought, she remained firm in her desire to not fight in front of her daughter. And so she crept down the hall and pushed on her daughter's slightly ajar door until it was all the way open and she was standing there in the doorway.

Greeting Joan was a scene that made her smile. Maia was in her pajamas - a slim grass green tank top and cotton pajama pants that were the same grass green, but with bright pink polka dots on them. She was sitting cross legged on her bed, propped up against all the pillows that she'd insisted she needed to have on her bed. Joan had given into the excess because she felt the same way - lots of pillows, some of which matched the comforter perfectly, others that were different coordinated patterns and colors - made the bed look good when it was made. Arthur was sitting next to Maia, and both of them were deeply engaged in looking at something Maia was swiping through on her iPad. Joan just stood there for a moment and watched them; they looked so content in each other's company. Maybe Arthur was totally right and everything was just in Joan's head; Maia seemed absolutely fine. Joan stood there for another minute before Maia looked up and saw her in the doorway. "Mom!" Maia said brightly as she put quickly clicked the home button on her iPad and set it down - a gesture that did not go unseen by Joan. Wondering what they were looking at, but not wanting to spoil the moment Joan just smiled at her daughter and asked her, "Can I steal your dad from you?"

Maia looked from her mother to her father, and back again. Then she furrowed her brow a bit and asked her mother, "What for?"

"Just to talk to him," Joan said to her as lightly as she could, "I haven't seen him much lately you know."

Maia didn't respond right away as she flicked her gaze from parent to parent. Finally she said, "I guess, but can we finish here first?" Her mother just looked at her. She looked like she wanted to protest, but she wasn't, so Maia hurried forward, "I know it's past my bedtime, but it's please mom it'll just be a little longer." As Maia was appealing her case, Joan stole a quick look at Arthur, and he seemed to be backing Maia up, so Joan acquiesced & told her daughter, "Okay. But it's a school night, so just half an hour." Maia thanked her mother and asked her to come back to get her dad then.

Maia picked her iPad back up as her mother left the room. Together with her dad they were looking through pictures of the three of them from their vacation and from the past year. When Arthur had left his bedroom with his pillow he'd headed straight for the living room sofa, but when he got there he found it occupied by Maia. At first he'd been unnecessarily gruff with her asking what she was doing out of her room after she'd already been put to bed. Maia had flinched at the curtness in his voice, but physically she held her ground, "Daddy," she'd said firmly but quietly, "Are you and mom fighting about me?" Sighing deeply Arthur had told her no, they were fighting about how he'd handled her on Friday. All Maia said in response was, "Oh." She still didn't move, and so Arthur just sat down on the sofa with her.

Maia broke the silence saying, "For what it's worth I thought you did a good job with me." Arthur patted her leg in response before he actually verbally said, "Thanks."

They sat there for a little longer before Maia said out loud - and actually not particularly to her father - "I think mom sometimes forgets that we can be okay even if we're not perfect." Arthur turned to look at his daughter when she said this. He chuckled a little too and agreed with her, "Yeah. Your mom is definitely a perfectionist."

Maia smiled. She liked having her dad around because she knew that he loved her mom even when he thought she was crazy. Maia knew that everyone thought she took after her mother with her perfectionism, but the truth was that while she strove for perfection she knew it was something that was ultimately unattainable. This knowledge let Maia share her dad's marveling at her mother's dogged pursuit of perfection in all aspects of her life. The father and daughter pair sat together feeling glad to have each other around until Maia jumped up and pulled her dad's hand, "I have an idea for helping mom," she declared. Intrigued and not having a better plan of what to do with himself, Arthur followed his daughter to her room. She whipped out her iPad and the two of them had set themselves up on her bed. As Maia swiped through photos she explained to her father, "I think maybe mom needs to see pictures of us being imperfect and realize that we are happy in all of them."

Arthur looked at his little girl and tried to figure her out. "Da-ad," she said, "Come on, it's a good idea right? Show mom that we can be a hot mess but still a good family." He laughed a little then, but couldn't argue with her logic. Plus it was totally different from anything he'd ever tried with Joan, so why not give this a shot? So he relaxed on Maia's bed while they reviewed the pictures together and occasionally commented on one or the other of them.

Maia finally settled on four photos. The first was of her dad imitating the posture of the Moai statue he was standing next to, while she and her mother were off to the side laughing at him. When their tour guide took the picture of them, neither Joan nor Maia knew they were in the shot, but it was so typical of their family that Maia loved the picture immediately. The second picture was of Maia and Joan just before Halloween. They were on an evening hayride with some of Maia's friends and in this picture Maia was snuggled up in her mother's lap, and both of them were bundled up in color coordinated jackets and hats. At Arthur's suggestion Joan had leaned down to give Maia a kiss on the cheek, and Maia had shrieked and made a face - and that was the face captured in the picture. The third picture was of the three of them all dressed up for a benefit for her school. When Maia had swiped this picture into view on her iPad, Arthur was impressed with just how much Maia and Joan looked alike. He'd said as much to Maia then - pointing out not just their shared hair color, but how when they smiled deeply they both had little dimples, and how their features were beginning to really mirror each others. Maia had leaned back into her dad when he said that, holding the iPad out to study the truth of his statement. And when she saw truth in the statement, she'd flagged the picture. The fourth picture couldn't have been more different. In it Joan and Arthur were snuggled into the grey club chair in their living room. Joan's sister thought she was taking a sweet picture of the couple, but at the last moment Maia photobombed the picture, creeping up from behind the back of the chair & making a crazy face like she was some sort of monster. She'd been so proud of herself that she'd so perfectly photobombed. And her mother had pointed out that was definitely the Arthur in her, to which Arthur had readily agreed as he congratulated Maia on her skills. Quickly checking the clock, Maia saw that she had 7 minutes to spare before her mom came back for her dad. Maia relaxed in her bed after her sending her dad off to print off the chosen four photos she'd sent to his email.

Joan heard her husband in the office and went in to see what he was up to. "Hey," she said from the doorway, not quite sure how to start the conversation she knew they needed to have.

"Hey," Arthur said back to her. Joan studied her husband. He didn't look as angry or hurt as before.

"Your daughter wants you to go to her room," Arthur told her with a twinkle in his eyes. Joan responded by arching one eyebrow.

"Just do it Joan," Arthur said with a little pleading.

She smiled at him then, hoping to lighten the mood again. "You're not even going to give me a hint about why?" she asked him.

"Nope," he replied as he turned back to the printer. And so Joan headed down to her daughter's room.

"Mai," she called out quietly as she simultaneously knocked on the open door and entered the room. Maia smiled up at her and patted the bed next to her. Joan walked toward her daughter but her eyes gave away that she was questioning what Maia was up to. Maia might not be a spy, but she did have Joan and Arthur for parents and so some of the people reading skills definitely rubbed off on her. Seeing her mother's face she put a pout on her face, "Don't you trust me mom?"

"Trust has nothing to do with it," Joan said with a raised eyebrow, "I'm just wondering what you've been planning with your dad."

"Sit down and you'll see," Maia said to her mother as she again patted the bed beside her. With nothing else to do, Joan sat down next to her daughter. When her mother seemed settled against the pillows alongside her, Maia spoke up while looking down at her own feet, "Mom I heard you and dad arguing, and I kinda crept down the hall and listened to see what you were arguing about." She paused then and Joan didn't say anything - mostly because she wasn't quite sure what to tell her daughter. So Maia continued, "I know it was about me and what I talked to dad about at the end, and that he didn't tell you about it." Maia paused again and looked up at her mother for confirmation. Joan nodded and this time tried to interject, "Your dad and I, we shouldn't have yelled at each other. I know he was a great dad to you while I was working." Maia nodded silently as Joan spoke, and when Joan looked up from her daughter she saw that Arthur was standing in the doorway watching the mother-daughter scene unfold. When he saw Joan take in his presence, Arthur looked down at the pictures in his hand. Taking a deep breath, Joan decided she needed to continue, "I think I was mad at your dad because it was easier than being frustrated with myself that I couldn't be here with you when you were dealing with hard issues." Looking up at Arthur she said to him and her daughter, "I shouldn't have taken that out on your dad." Arthur looked up from the pictures he was holding and smiled at his wife, who quickly smiled back at him before lowering her gaze to her daughter.

"Yeah," Maia agreed. She was quiet for a moment, and so was Joan. Then Maia spoke up again, "You know I'd tell you if something was really wrong. Nothing was really wrong. I mean I felt weird and I talked to dad, and he made me feel better. You don't have to worry quite so much mom," she tried to say gently. Arthur couldn't help but shake his head and grin when he heard what his daughter said to his wife. And Joan nodded to herself as Maia spoke and then verbally agreed with her daughter, "Okay. But it'll be hard. I'm a natural worrier."

"We know," Maia said more animatedly as she caught her father's gaze, and he suppressed a laugh.

Joan looked at her husband and her daughter and put a little pout on. Maia saw it and rolled her eyes but reached over and took her mother's hand. "Mom, you know what dad told me on Friday?" Maia asked her mother. Joan actually didn't know, and so she shook her head. "He told me that I was allowed to be okay with something and still not like it."

"Yes, that's true," Joan said, unsure of where Maia was going with this.

"Well he was talking about me being okay with you all working weird hours because I am okay with it logically, but it doesn't mean I have to like it, "Maia explained. Before her mother could say anything else Maia added, "but I think you should listen to that advice too - I mean I think you need to be okay with imperfection, because we're imperfect, but it doesn't mean you have to give up trying to be perfect. You just have to be okay with things not always being perfect."

"Okay," Joan said smiling down at her daughter. The logic was a little round about for her, but she got what her daughter was saying.

"Mom, what I mean is that imperfect is sometimes super fun and okay, so don't stress out so much," Maia said as she gestured to her father to come in. Bringing the pictures over Arthur handed them to Maia, who took them, turning them away from Joan's view as she sorted through them.

"See," Maia said as she handed her mother the picture of her dad as a Moai. Joan looked down at the photo and couldn't help but laugh a little. Arthur sat down on the bed by his wife, as he watched Maia show Joan the pictures. "See mom," Maia said, "Dad's weird sometimes, but he's good for us because he knows how to make us laugh." Then Maia handed her mother the rest of the pictures telling her, "You know only one of these makes us look like we're "perfect," but it's the least fun picture. If we were perfect all the time we wouldn't have fun pictures or many really fun memories." Joan nodded as she looked through the pictures her daughter handed her.

Kissing her daughter on the head, Joan put the pictures down and told her, "Thanks Maia. You're a pretty smart kid you know?"

"I know," Maia said breezily before grinning at her parents.

"I don't think I can stop worrying about you, but you made a good point here about imperfection. I'm glad you have such a good head on your shoulders," Joan told her daughter, "and I'm sorry that you heard us fighting earlier."

"It's okay," Maia said, "just don't make dad sleep on the sofa?"

"Deal," her mother agreed, "And now you need to go to bed; you have school tomorrow and your father and I have work."

"Yes ma'am," Maia said with little joking in her voice. And with that she snuggled down under her covers. Both her parents kissed her and wished her a goodnight, before they made sure her nightlight was on, flicked off her overhead light, and let themselves out of the room.

"We have a good kid," Joan said to Arthur as they walked back down to their bedroom. He reached out and put his arm around her waist and she didn't squirm away, so he knew they were on to the make up part of the night.

"Yeah," Arthur agreed, "and just so you know, I didn't put her up to any of that."

"I know," Joan said.

"You know? How do you know?" Arthur asked her.

"Because you've never done something that creative to get me to think differently," she said as a sly smile crept across her face.

"Hey, maybe I turned over a new leaf," he tried to counter.

"But you already admitted you didn't put Maia up to anything," Joan reminded him. And after a silent beat added, "And Arthur, I am sorry." She leaned her head down a little after apologizing. Arthur leaned in and kissed her gently, before turning her face toward him and telling her, "I know."


	11. Easter Bunnies & Cactus

**Chapter 11: Easter Bunnies & Cactus**

For his part, Arthur was glad that Easter had come so quickly after Joan had finally closed out the most recent mission - the one that had taken over their lives for the past two weeks. The whole experience had stressed Joan out beyond her regular high level of stress, which in turn stressed everyone else out. Joan's sister and her husband were coming down to spend the holiday with their daughter, and of course, Arthur, Joan, and Maia. Having some family time was just what they all needed - especially Joan - Arthur thought as he puttered around their bedroom on Easter morning.

Once it sounded like everyone else was in the kitchen, Arthur donned the Easter Bunny costume he'd recently unearthed from the basement. He'd gotten it when Maia was little, and this year decided to bring it out again. "Dad?!" Maia had shrieked as everyone else burst into laughter at both what Arthur was wearing and Maia's reaction. Taking the giant bunny head off but leaving the costume on, Arthur joined his expanded family around the table for breakfast. Joan grinned at her husband as she chided him playfully "Really Arthur? The bunny costume?" In truth, however, she'd always appreciated how much he'd gotten into whatever holiday it was. Both he and Joan had happy memories of holidays with their families as children, and they worked hard to create similar memories for Maia over the years. Joan had come home from work on Friday with three dozen eggs so that she and the girls could spend Saturday morning decorating and dying eggs while they waited for Sarah's parents to arrive. That evening while the girls were busy watching a movie, Joan, her sister, and their husbands sat around talking about the girls and putting together Easter baskets for them, and filling those little plastic eggs with candy, money, and other little trinkets. If you'd have asked any of the adults who had more fun - themselves hiding them or the girls hunting for them - they probably would have told you it was a serious toss up. And so after an extended period gathered around the kitchen for breakfast, the adults sent the two girls off to hunt for eggs around the house. It took them about an hour, but they did finally find all well-hidden 48 eggs.

As everyone sat around the living room the girls opened up their eggs and dug into the Easter baskets that Arthur still insisted came from the Easter Bunny. The girls tore right into the Easter candy, and sweetly offered some of their loot to their parents. Joan looked around at the scene in her living room: everyone was busy peeling pastel foil off of chocolate eggs, Sarah and Maia were chattering about candy, school, and things they thought were hilarious on YouTube. Life was good. Joan smiled to herself, and let herself relax a little and try to believe that everything was good.

The holiday weekend was delightful but passed too quickly for everyone. Joan's sister and her husband took the girls back to NYC with them on Easter Monday, and planned to keep them until the following Sunday. That way Arthur and Joan could work and not need to hire a babysitter to stay home with the girls on their holiday break. In addition, it gave Joan and Arthur some time just to themselves that Caroline had to imagine her sister was in need of. For their part, the girls were thrilled to get to spend a week in Manhattan. As they ran around the city with Sarah's dad/Maia's uncle, doing lots of touristy things in addition to joining Caroline for lunches out at some of her favorite spots, Joan and Arthur threw themselves into work - trying to take advantage of the time they had not being responsible for the girls.

Early Friday afternoon Arthur burst into Joan's office, calling out her name as he blew in. Catching her while she was on the phone she glared up at him, shooting him a look to pipe down. Taking the cue, he stood there, waiting for her to end the call. Speaking into the phone she affirmed to the person on the other end of the line that, "Yes, it's Arthur. I'll talk to you later," as she ended the call.

"Can I help you Arthur?" she asked her husband as she hung up the phone. She didn't make eye contact with him, but he could see the corners of her mouth trying not to smile.

"Who were you talking to?" he asked her then, curious about the other person's identity.

"I'm pretty sure that's not what you actually came to talk about Arthur," Joan said to him as she brushed some stray hairs out of her face and looked up at him, "But it was Seth if you must know."

"And how are Seth and you?" Arthur asked her then teasingly. Seth had been a bit of a sore spot in their relationship over the years. Joan had been involved with Seth at one point before their marriage, and ever after that the two had maintained a friendship that involved Seth also being Joan's sponsor for her drug issue. Arthur wouldn't admit it to Joan, but he'd always been a little jealous of how easily she and Seth got along, and how quick she was to trust him. At one point he had accused her of being too involved with Seth and that hadn't gone over well with Joan. Over the years, Arthur had mostly come to see Seth as an important person in Joan's life because he was able to support her when she was feeling vulnerable to old habits. So while Arthur wasn't thrilled with the maintained relationship, he tried to just joke about it now to deal with the way he felt and still try to trust Joan that her relationship with Seth was nothing more than friendship.

Joan rolled her eyes at her husband as he asked her about Seth and her. "We are fine," she told told her husband, "and by we I mean you and me and me and Seth. The two of you - well you'll never be fine, but we all already know that."

Arthur nodded. Still standing up behind her desk as she was when he came into her office, she crossed her arms, cocked her head, and stared at her husband. "What?" he asked when he noticed her posture.

"What do you mean what? You burst in here calling out my name. What do you want?" she asked him as she shook her head. Sometimes she was amazed that Arthur was the DCS when he couldn't even remember why he came into the room.

Raising his eyebrows and letting his bright blue eyes smile at her, Arthur told her, "Oh right! I booked you an appointment with your esthetician, it's in an hour so you better get going. I'll meet you at home by 4," he said to he handed her purse and coat to her.

"You what?" Joan started, "Arthur what's going on?"

"Don't ask questions, it's a surprise and you're going to love it," Arthur replied with a twinkle in his eye.

"Arthur - what kind of surprise requires me to go to the esthetician, and also since when did you even have that word in your vocabulary?" Joan asked him, eyeing him suspiciously.

"I didn't know the word until this afternoon, Midge did though. She made the appointment. Now come on - stop stalling and get going," he said hurrying her out of her own office.

Deciding it was best not to ask questions she left the office and drove off to her appointment. Arthur took off shortly after he knew that Joan had left the building. He ran into the house and packed a small bag with clothes for himself, some underwear for Joan along with the bathing suit he wanted her to wear as they lounged by the pool the next day, and their toiletries. When Joan pulled her car into the driveway, Arthur dashed out after setting the alarm and didn't even let her come inside.

"Arthur! What on earth is going on?" Joan asked him as he opened her car door.

He grinned at her, "I'm driving us to our surprise," he said as he motioned for her to get out and hop in the passenger seat. She did so begrudgingly. And with that they whizzed off to the airport. Pulling their car into the lot at Dulles, Joan finally figured that we were definitely going somewhere, but she still had no idea where they were going. Arthur wasn't giving up any information, and so she tried to figure it out from context clues. Looking at her husband she finally realized that all he had with him was a little carry on suitcase.

"Where's the luggage?" she asked him. He responded by continuing to grin and gesturing down at the carry on he had with him.

"Are you leaving me?" Joan asked as she stopped walking.

"What are you talking about?" he responded spinning around to see his wife studying him and no longer walking anywhere, "Of course not. Why would you think that?"

"Because there's definitely not enough room in that suitcase for even what I'd need for a night away. What is going on Arthur?" she asked him, not totally wanting to ruin the surprise, but worrying that Arthur might be forgetting details - like clothes - that would be important to her later.

Arthur's grin got even wider as he told her, "I only packed you underwear, I've got my own stuff in here, and our toiletries."

Joan blushed deeply and sputtered, "WHAT? No Arthur, we have to go back so I can pack something, anything, to wear."

"Nah, I also packed you a bathing suit" Arthur told her as he flashed her a winning smile. When he saw that she wasn't really recovering from his statement about only packing her underwear, Arthur relented a little as he admitted, "We're going west, there will be time to get you some things when we arrive."

She rolled her eyes, but finally started moving again. Once they were settled into their first class seats on their way to Tucson, Joan leaned into Arthur and asked him, "You really didn't pack me any clothes?"

He chuckled and told her, "Nope. Not any."

"You are crazy," she told him.

After a beat he told her, "Yeah. Well I thought of picking stuff out but I figured I'd just pick the wrong stuff. I figured it was safer if we just let you pick up something new when we arrived. We'll swing by La Encantada when we get there." Joan smiled to herself as she realized just how thoughtful Arthur had been - even if he was playing it pretty safe by not even trying to pick out an outfit for her.

The heat of the Arizona late afternoon greeted them as they left the little Tucson airport and picked up the rental convertible that Arthur had reserved for them. Bright red and flashy it was the opposite of their safe, sleek, black BMWs they both drove in DC. "How'd you think to come here?" Joan asked him as they strolled through La Encantada while Joan wandered in and out of stores looking for the clothes she needed for that night and Saturday.

Arthur reached over to take his wife's hand and explained, "I wanted to go somewhere warm, and I remembered how much you love cactus."

Joan laughed out loud at her husband's response. "I don't know if it's me who loves cactus so much. I mean I like them, but I think you have me confused with our daughter. Remember how taken Maia was with the saguaros the first time she saw them?" she reminded her husband.

"I remember that. I also remember what she said about them when she saw themthat winter we came out here to visit my brother while he was out here," Arthur said as he too laughed.

Joan and Arthur both thought back to that trip. It was another much needed family vacation. Arthur's brother had been doing some work at the University of Arizona, and he'd rented a little Spanish style house not far from campus. Life had been a little stressful in the Campbell home. Maia was 6 at the time and she'd been in a phase of not wanting to wear socks or tights or anything because she didn't like they way they felt. The seam on the toes rubbed her the wrong way, and even when Joan caved and bought seamless everything, she'd just protested for no other reason than what Arthur and Joan could determine was just a desire to be difficult. Joan was exasperated with Maia, and Maia had dug her heels in. On top of all that, Joan had been dealing with some family drama with one of her sisters and so when she was home she was often on the phone. This bugged Maia who could give her mother about 20-30 minutes of phone time before she got antsy and whiney. In turn this frustrated Joan, and so the two of them were in a vicious cycle of pressing each other's buttons. Arthur's resolution to the problem was that for the President's Day holiday they'd all go to Tucson to visit his brother. Even in February the weather would be warm enough for Maia to wear sandals, and the time difference would mean that Joan couldn't talk to her family some of the time. The trip had been a good, restorative one for everyone. They'd done some hiking and had visited Saguaro National Park. Joan had talked to her family twice a day, but gave the daytimes to her daughter and husband. When they were hiking one day Maia had asked her parents, "What's inside the cactus?" They'd talked about cactus anatomy then, and how good cactus were at taking care of themselves even in harsh conditions. "So they're soft inside?" Maia asked after her parents were done explaining.

"Well - they're not prickly inside. I suppose their firm so that they stand up, but softer yes," Arthur had said as he thought through his response out loud.

Maia had smiled, and then excitedly pulled on Joan's arm. "Mom," she said in her little 6-year old voice, "They're your plant!" Both Arthur and Joan had looked at Maia with some confusion then.

"What are you talking about Miss Maia?" Arthur had asked her playfully.

"Prickly on the outside to take care of themselves, but soft and full of good stuff on the inside. That's a cactus right?" she asked her parents wondering why they weren't following her logic.

"Yes," they'd both affirmed.

"That's like mom, it's like this is her plant-self!" Maia had exclaimed.

Arthur had thought that was hilarious and he got a good laugh out of the comparison of his wife to a cactus. Joan had taken it well, she knew that Maia meant it not as a derogatory statement. And truth be told, the more she thought about it, Joan had to admit that she was kind of like a cactus. Ever since then, apparently, Arthur had thought of Joan when he saw cactus. It was a weird thing, but ultimately the memory was a good one, and Joan was more than a little touched at the thought and sentiment of Arthur's surprise quick trip to Tucson.

That night the two of them had gone to dinner at what, over the years of visiting Arthur's brother, had become a favorite restaurant in town - Cafe Poca Cosa. Driving back up to their hotel in the foothills of the mountains, they'd both admired the way the hotel had wrapped white Christmas lights around the cactus so that the saguaros lit the way up the road to the hotel. As Arthur turned the car keys over to the valet, Joan leaned over and kissed Arthur before taking his hand to lead him into the hotel lobby, and then on to their room. This little getaway was definitely what she needed, and she intended to make sure Arthur knew she was impressed with his thoughtfulness.

_Thanks for the reviews. Since this only a T, I gotta stick to the guidelines about the Arthur & Joan romance details. But I'm trying to write them romantically, but still still true to their characters. Cheers! _


	12. Present & Past

**Chapter 12: Present & Past**

Sunlight streamed through the window, and as Joan squinted in the morning light she could see the mountains rising up outside the window. Closing her eyes and smiling she let herself relax back into sleep. An hour later when she woke again, she was amazed by how rested she felt. Unlike when she was home and waking up meant jumping into a frenetically paced life, this morning held none of that anxiety. Rolling toward her husband, Joan propped up her elbow so that she could hold her head up and watch Arthur sleep. Watching him breathe, she considered how thoughtful he could be, and was being toward her. Leaning down toward him, she whispered to him, "Arthur are you awake?"

He responded with a sleepy sound. He found his voice as he turned away from her, "Now I am. What time is it?"

She scooted over closer to him and kissed him on his temple as she told him, "8."

"Mmmm," he got out, before he rolled back over and looked up at his wife, who was still staring down at him. Smiling but still sleepy he told her, "I can't believe you woke me up to ask me if I was awake. How long have you been awake?"

"Not too long," Joan told him as she flopped back down on her own pillow, causing her blonde hair to spray out in every direction over her pillow.

"You sleep well?" Arthur asked her as he too lay on his back and looked at the ceiling.

"Better than I have in a long time," she told him, "sorry to wake you up, I just wanted us to spend the day together actually awake."

He chuckled and grinned up at the ceiling as he reached out to his side to find her hand. Laying there side by side and holding hands, Joan turned her head toward her husband, "Thanks for bringing me out here. It was really thoughtful."

Arthur squeezed her hand in response. Then after a few moments, he rolled toward her and with a glint in his eye, "So what do you think we should do now that we're both awake?"

"Well," she said as she laughed at her husband, "I was thinking we could take advantage of this big bed and no kids...and then we could take advantage of that giant shower I saw in the bathroom last night."

"That sounds like a perfect plan," Arthur said to her as he pulled her toward him.

A few hours later Joan and Arthur finally made their way out of their room and out of the hotel. Arthur had made plans for them to meet up with his brother, who still lived in the area, for brunch. Brunch sounded perfect when Arthur made the plans, but now that he and Joan had taken advantage of their free morning with, well, domestic activities, they'd ended up having to rush to get ready to meet up for an 11:30 brunch.

Back in NYC the girls were passing a rainy Saturday inside Sarah's family's Upper East side apartment. Sarah's dad came from money and was a big time corporate lawyer, and so their place was pretty spectacular. Maia loved the idea of living in an apartment with people all around and a doorman, and so even though they were stuck inside on their last full day in Manhattan, Maia was just as happy as could be. After they'd played some board games with Sarah's mom, watched some TV, and had lunch, however, they didn't quite know what to do with themselves. That's when Caroline brought out the old photo albums that documented her, and Joan's (along with their sisters') lives from childhood through young adulthood. The girls had gotten a huge kick out of the old photos. As she flipped through the pages, Sarah commented, "look just like instagram pictures!" Caroline had laughed at the comment, wondering why on earth all the kids were so into instagram photos that made everything look like it was taken with an old camera from the 70s - grainy pictures with orange-toned colors.

As the girls flipped through the photo albums there was a lot of laughter and pointing at fashions and hairstyles that they thought were hilarious. The awkward adolescent years were particularly big hits with the girls who couldn't believe that their mothers who were so picky about their appearances had actually looked awkward. There was one of a family vacation to the Grand Canyon when Joan was about 13, and it quickly became Maia's favorite picture of her mother that she'd ever seen. In the photograph Joan was standing off to the side - clearly away from the rest of her family, and she had her arms crossed and a definite eye roll going on. Caroline came over when she heard the girls laughter and Maia's expression of love for a particular photo. When she saw what the girls were laughing at, she couldn't help but laugh herself, "Oh yeah. Joan thought she was out of the picture in that one. She had an attitude for that whole trip; she definitely thought she was entirely too cool for a family vacation to the Grand Canyon. That picture is one of my favorites too. It's actually one of everyone's favorites." Then she added, "Well except for your mother," as she gave Maia a knowing look. Maia snapped a picture of the picture with her phone, deciding that when the moment was right that maybe she could bring it out and ask her mother about it.

As the girls kept flipping through the pictures, Maia was surprised at how much fun it looked like her mother was having in most of the pictures. She looked so much more carefree in the pictures than Maia was used to seeing - even in the pictures she had of her mother where her mother looked happy. Internally Maia wondered what changed to make her mother seem so much more serious than these pictures of her laughing with her friends, making silly faces at the camera with her sisters, and looking just happy and in love with the boys in the pictures of her during her high school and college years. In the most recent pictures of her mother, before she found ones that included her dad, Maia saw a man who looked vaguely familiar to her, though she didn't know why. Asking her aunt who the man was, the response she got was, "Oh that guy - Seth something I think. He was your mom's boyfriend when she had first moved to DC. Actually he might have been her last serious relationship before your dad. I think he was a lawyer or something."

Maia tried to press her aunt for more information, but her aunt didn't seem to know much - other than remembering that he "seemed to be really in love with your mom."

"What happened?" Maia asked her aunt, trying to learn more about her mother's past. Maia had heard stories about her mother as a child and a teenager from her mother, and the juicier things from her aunts at family gatherings. But information about her mother's love life before her dad was something Maia knew relatively little about.

"I don't really know," her aunt answered after thinking about it for a moment. "I think that they just went their separate ways. They stayed friendly afterwards, but your mom met your dad, and well you know how that story ended," Caroline told Maia.

Maia nodded and thought about it a little. After her aunt left the room again, Maia turned to her cousin and asked her if she thought it was good or bad to stay friends with ex-boyfriends. Since neither of them had any experience in that department, it was really all hypothetical conversation. Still, it was interesting for them to think about how they would feel about staying friends with ex-boyfriends. Quickly that conversation moved into whether they were actually interested in any boys at school, and how they really weren't because they all just seemed to immature.

Back in Arizona, Joan and Arthur finished up brunch with Arthur's brother and then headed back to the hotel to lay by the pool for the rest of the afternoon, alternating between talking, reading, and napping. They only peeled themselves off their lounge chairs to head out to Sabino Canyon to watch the sunset. As they sat there with the cactus all around, and the sunset painting the rocks brilliantly red, Joan turned to Arthur and quietly said, "Too bad we have to leave all this and head back to reality in the morning, huh?" He smiled and rolled his eyes at her. She was always thinking about what was next; it was hard for her to just be in a moment and enjoy it. To try to help her out with that Arthur pulled her closer and kissed her. She kissed him back, but pulled away quickly telling him, "Arthur! We're out here with these strangers."

"Exactly," he responded, "They're strangers, let's make them jealous they're not us." And with that he leaned in and kissed her again, and this time she let him linger for longer.


	13. The Unexpected

**Chapter 13: The Unexpected **

Unexpected events were par for the course in the Campbell household, but usually these events were at Langley and home life had to flex around those work events. When home was where the unexpected events were, it always seemed more complicated to handle. And so it was when Joan's phone rang in the middle of the night on a Tuesday in mid-May. Figuring it was something about work, she grabbed it and without looking at who was calling she answered it, "Joan Campbell."

An unexpectedly small voice came through the line, "Mom?"

Sitting up in bed, Joan glanced at the time and asked into the phone, "Maia? What's the matter?" As Joan spoke, Arthur rolled toward her so he could watch his wife's face and try to figure out what was happening.

"I don't feel so good. My head hurts a lot," Maia whimpered into the phone.

"Okay. Hang on. I'll be there in a second," Joan said as she got out of bed, reached for a bathrobe, and searched around for some slippers. Hanging up the phone she told her husband, "Maia's sick."

"And she called us?" Arthur said laughing a little. Joan nodded and couldn't help but smile herself - even at the 3 in the morning, her daughter's resourcefulness and/or tech dependency was not lost on her. "Want me to come too?" Arthur asked her.

Joan shook her head, "One of us should get some sleep. I'll go see what's going on. I'll call you if it's something serious."

Joan knocked lightly on Maia's door as she walked through it. "Hey Mai," she called out to her, "What's the matter?"

Maia was curled up in the fetal position, her face pointed toward the door like she'd been waiting for her mother to walk through it. "My head really hurts," she told her mother. Joan leaned over her daughter and felt her forehead as she also brushed Maia's long hair out of her face.

"Your head is burning up," Joan commented as she disappeared into Maia's bathroom to get the thermometer. When she reappeared she took a seat next to her daughter, and took a quick in-ear reading of her temperature. When the beeps indicated her temperature had been taken, Joan walked toward the bathroom to read the thermometer. Maia's room was light enough from the nightlight for her to get around, but not bright enough to read the digital display of the thermometer. 101. Maia was definitely coming down with something. Taking some Tylenol from the shelf in Maia's bathroom that was still too high for her to reach herself - a remnant of Joan and Arthur's comprise between child-proofing and convenience from when Maia was younger, Joan came back out and handed her daughter the chewable grape tablets. Maia made a face, but when her mother gave her a look and then gently told her, "They'll make you feel better," Maia put them both in her mouth and chewed. Sitting up against her pillows she then eagerly took the glass of water Joan offered her to wash them down.

"Anything else not feel good Maia?" Joan asked her daughter once she'd taken the Tylenol. Maia had been quieter than usual at dinner, but Joan just chalked that up to Sarah's extra talkativeness that night. But maybe her daughter had been coming down with something then.

"Not really," Maia said.

"Okay then," Joan said, "Well get some rest, that's probably the best thing you can do for yourself right now. I'll call the doctor in the morning and see if we can get you in to make sure you're OK otherwise." Maia did respond and Joan didn't get up off the bed. "You want me to sit with you for a little while?" Joan asked as she rubbed her daughter's back in circles.

Maia nodded and gave her mother a weak smile. Joan walked around to the other side of Maia's bed and got in next to her daughter. She'd intended to just sit in the bed next to Maia until Maia fell back to sleep, but the next thing Joan knew Arthur was standing over her after just having awakened her. "Hey," he said, "I came in to check on two last night when you didn't come back to bed, but you were knocked out. How's Maia doing?"

Joan blinked her eyes a few times trying to wake herself up. Sitting up carefully, trying not to disturb Maia, she told her husband, "I don't know. I gave her some Tylenol. She had a fever last night - 101, but didn't complain of any of other symptoms. I think we should keep her home from school today and get her into Dr. Morgan. I'll take her temperature again when she gets up."

Arthur nodded, and then said, "I checked your calendar. I think I can get everything moved or otherwise taken care of except for your 9:30. Want me to call and see if Ally can come over to babysit from 9-11 so that you can go in?" Mentally Arthur was also trying to flip through his own schedule to see if he could stay home if Ally couldn't babysit at the last minute. He wasn't sure what her schedule was like; he knew that she was out of college for the summer, but they hadn't gotten on their summer babysitting schedule since Maia was still in school.

Joan gave her husband a tired smile as she said yes and thanked him. He was trying to help out as best he could. After he left the room to go call Ally, Joan sat up in the bed next to Maia and gave herself a few more minutes of just sitting there watching her daughter sleep. Quietly slipping out of bed about five minutes later, Joan made her way back down to her own bedroom to check in with Arthur about the day. Ally had answered the phone really sleepily, but agreed to be there by 9, Arthur had forgotten that most college kids don't get up at 6. He'd apologized profusely to her, and Joan had rolled her eyes at Arthur when he relayed the story and told him to make sure he gave Ally a little extra when he paid her for the morning. After showering and getting dressed, Joan went back down to Maia's room to check on her. She was only just waking and she looked at Joan with eyes still heavy with sleep. "Hey sweetheart, how are you feeling?" Joan asked her daughter.

After blinking a few times as she tried to wake herself up more, Maia told her mom that her head still hurt, but not as bad as before. Chalking it up to the Tylenol probably still being in Maia's system, Joan felt her daughter's forehead and then took her temperature again. It was down to 99.4, but with the Tylenol probably still working, Joan didn't know how accurate the temperature was to her daughter's current state. Leaning down to kiss Maia, Joan let her know that she was going to go into work for a few hours but that she'd be home by 11:00 and they'd get her fixed up then. Maia nodded and snuggled back down under her covers pretty eager to go back to sleep.

After giving her husband instructions to take Maia's temperature again before he left, and to give her some Tylenol if she still had a fever, Joan grabbed her own things, made sure Sarah had everything she needed for the day, and then dropped Sarah off at school before heading into Langley. Getting to the office just after 8:30 gave Joan an hour to prep for her 9:30 and make sure everything else was under control so she really could leave right after her meeting ended. For all the experience she had juggling work and home, Joan wished it would sometime start to feel second nature. But for now it still didn't, it still felt like she was short changing her job and her daughter. Joan mentally scolded herself as she reminded herself that all the negative self-talk wasn't helping anything, and that Maia was sleeping anyway so whether she was home or the babysitter was, it didn't really make a difference. It was bouts of feeling like she couldn't be in total control of and perfect in either her home or work roles that tended to make her want to reach for some pills to help herself feel less. Better living through chemistry - right? -that had been her excuse at one point, but no - it had been years since her last relapse and she really wanted to keep it that way. Nonetheless Joan made a mental note to make sure she checked in with her sponsor.

On the drive over to Dr. Morgan's office that afternoon, Maia was unusually quiet. Joan figured she just wasn't feeling well, and so she just put the radio on and drove, letting herself get a little lost in her own thoughts. After confirming that Maia just had a virus and would be fine in a few days, Joan and Maia had headed home, where Joan put Maia back to bed. The next few days went similarly - Joan, Arthur, and Ally all juggling schedules so that Maia would be looked after, and everyone trying to keep Sarah and Maia apart so that she didn't catch what Maia had.

On Friday morning Maia was feeling mostly better, and it was her first day without a fever. Still Joan had decided to keep her home from school for one more day just to make sure she didn't relapse. After settling Maia on the sofa to watch some TV, Joan headed into her bedroom. She needed to contact Seth to let him know that she wasn't going to make it to their meeting today. Closing the door behind her she dialed the number, intending to have a short conversation where she just let him know she was fine and that she wasn't going to be in at all today - to anything. When he didn't answer, she left him a quick message with the same information and then hung up. As Joan made up the bed she shared with Arthur she thought about how they'd been back and forth about whether or not Seth should be her sponsor. She'd initially been the one to put her foot down with Seth, saying that it wasn't right given her past history with him, and the fact that she was married to Arthur. Arthur of course didn't know that, and she hadn't intended to tell him anything, but then he found out and thought it was more than just a sponsoring relationship. But that was years ago now - before Maia was born. After a little relapse when Maia was 5, Joan and Arthur had to have a heart to heart about Seth again. And so it was still Seth who Joan reached out to when she went back to group six years ago- but this time with Arthur's (begrudging) blessing. Joan knew that Arthur didn't want to be okay with the sponsoring relationship between herself and Seth, but he was smart enough to know that what Joan most needed was a sponsor, and if she felt comfortable with Seth he should probably trust her. And so Joan and Seth were back together - in this one way anyways. Arthur had been a little overprotective and crazy at first, meeting with Seth to let him know that there was to be no funny business with Joan, but with time they'd all learned to make the odd relationship work. As she fluffed the pillows her phone rang - Seth. Joan rolled her eyes but reached to answer the phone. She didn't know why she left messages for Seth. He never listened to them as far as she could tell, he'd always just call her back when he saw her number in his missed calls. He'd been like that for as long as she'd known him.

As Maia's TV show ended, she looked around for her mother but didn't see her. Putting aside the iPad she'd been playing on while also watching TV, she got off the sofa and went on the hunt for her mother. After checking the kitchen and the office and not finding her mother in either place, Maia continued down the hall to her parents' bedroom. As she approached the bedroom she noticed that the door was closed, and she heard the phone ring. Dropping her head a little, she turned to head back down to the living room. Although Joan and Arthur wanted Maia to feel welcome anywhere and everywhere in the house, one of the house rules was that if the door was closed you had to knock first and wait for the door to be opened for you. Besides the normal reasons why this was a good rule, with two spy parents it was also important to keeping privacy and confidentiality. Hearing the phone ring and knowing her mother as well as she did, Maia knew that the door wouldn't be opened until after her mom was off the phone. As she turned away, however, Maia's ears perked up when she heard her mother say, "Seth, you never listen to my messages do you?" in a voice that was playful and light and usually reserved only for her dad. Maia froze a little. Was this the same Seth that was in the pictures she and Sarah were looking at over spring break? Was this the same Seth that her aunt said loved her mom. Trying to will her ears to open wider, Maia inched slightly closer to her parents' closed bedroom door so she could hear more. "No I'm not coming in at all today, Maia's still recuperating," she heard her mother saying. Breathing a little, Maia decided it was a work thing, and again she went to head back down the hallway. That was until she heard her mother follow up with, "No you cannot come over. You know Arthur would kill you if he found you here, or even found out you'd been here. I'll see you next Wednesday Seth." Freezing again, Maia felt like her head was literally spinning, and like her heart was banging so loudly against her chest that it was in serious danger of breaking through her skin. When she heard her mother say that, Maia took off down the hall - breaking into a run once she cleared the kitchen and not stopping until she'd tossed herself on her bed. What was happening? Laying on her bed, looking up at the ceiling and grabbing onto her comforter as if she was trying to actually anchor herself to the bed, Maia tried to will herself to take some deep breaths. She felt like her world had just exploded. She'd seen enough TV and movies that were not just PG - on nights when her parents were gone and at her friends' houses - and so she had a pretty good idea that not all marriages were perfect. She knew that her parents' certainly wasn't - it didn't take a spy to know that they had fights and disagreements, but she'd always thought they were really in love with each other and just each other. But now Maia had doubts after listening to her mom on the phone with Seth - whether it was the Seth from the picture or a different one - and hearing her cousin saying, "Maybe your parents have crazy lives like that when they're at work late," one night while her parents were working and the two girls were home watching Mad Men online and trying to figure out why her parents liked it so much. When Sarah had made the comment in reference to Don Draper's infidelity, Maia had been horrified and insulted, and she'd punched her cousin the arm telling her to, "Shut up Sarah! My parents would never!" But now she was less sure. Her mind was still spinning when her mother appeared in her line of vision. Blonde hair dangling down as her mother leaned over her, Maia tried to make out what she was saying. She could see her mother's mouth moving, but she felt like she was underwater. In truth, it was just all the emotions that were completely consuming Maia that she wasn't really taking in what her mother was saying. Joan became more concerned as her daughter just looked up at her with fear in her eyes. "Maia? Say something? Are you okay?" Joan asked as she shook her daughter a little.

"Huh?" Maia finally croaked out.

Sighing deeply and sitting down on the bed next to her still pajama clad daughter, Joan cradled her daughter's face in her right hand. "Are you okay? You look like you saw a ghost," she said to Maia.

Maia nodded slowly, before telling the ceiling, "I just felt really um, dizzy all of a sudden," she only half lied, since she did feel kind of dizzy, but not for any of the reasons that her mother suspected.

"Maybe it was too much too soon to have you up and walking around," Joan mused as she felt her daughter's forehead. "You don't feel like you have any fever, but let me take your temperature again, and I'll get you some water. Maybe you're a little dehydrated."

"Okay," Maia said as she closed her eyes, trying to shut out all the thoughts running through her mind.

"Get some rest Mai and call if you need anything," Joan told her daughter after kissing her forehead. She'd confirmed that Maia's fever hadn't returned and she couldn't get any information out of her about anything other than dizziness bothering her. So Joan just hoped that some sleep would cure Maia's symptoms. Left alone in the semi-darkness of her bedroom after her mother had drawn the curtains against the daylight, Maia let her worries return. As she mentally worked through all sorts of scenarios, she also tried to give herself a pep talk about her parents, sure that her mother was just the same as she'd always been, and that her parents' marriage was strong. Finally, mostly due to her still recovering body, Maia did slip into sleep.

When she woke again two hours later, Maia turned on her side and then let herself just lay there. Normally she was eager to get right up and see what was happening with everyone else in her house, but this morning her curiosity had caused her so much anxiety that she decided just staying still was maybe her best bet. She was still lying there thinking about whether or not she should get up when her dad popped his head in her doorway. Grinning when he saw that she was awake, Arthur called out to his daughter, "Hey sleepyhead, how are you feeling?"

Maia curled her body around so that she was facing the doorway more directly, and she let a smile spread across her face at her dad, "Hi dad. I'm okay I think."

"Well that sounds like a good thing," Arthur commented, "You want to come out to the kitchen and have some lunch? Your mom left some directions for me on how to feed you."

"Da-ad. You make me sound like I'm a pet dog!" Maia complained as she continued to grin at her dad.

Arthur just rolled his eyes at his daughter as he tossed his suit jacked on her bed, and then scooped her up out of the bed. Although she was 11, Maia was still pretty small and so Arthur could still pick her up and carry her. Squealing in delight, although she wouldn't ever admit it to her father, Maia let herself get carried out to the kitchen and set up at the counter. As she stirred the soup around in the bowl he set in front of her, Maia couldn't help but slip back into the thoughts that had been circling around her mind since she'd eavesdropped on her mother that morning.

Studying his daughter as she didn't eat, Arthur knew something was going on in that head of hers. He tried to guess what it was but came up short. No one had been working crazy hours. She hadn't been at school to have any drama there. And so when she piped up and asked, "Dad, what are you doing here? Where's mom?" Arthur breathed a sigh of relief - presuming that was what she was thinking about.

"She's picking up Sarah and taking her to the doctor, the school nurse called and so I'm on the home front hanging out with you until your mom and Sarah get home," Arthur explained as he leaned on the counter.

"Oh," Maia said, "She get what I have?"

"Probably," Arthur replied. As he watched Maia twirl her blonde hair around her finger as she continued to not really eat, he decided to just jump in to a potential mess and ask her, "Something on your mind Maia?" It wasn't like Maia to ever not eat, and so that coupled with her pensiveness made him pretty sure something was up with his daughter.

Maia didn't respond at first. She didn't know what to say, she was just making stories in her mind and she didn't want to cause any sort of rift between her parents over her own imagination. But she also wanted more information. Finally she put down the spoon she'd been stirring around in her now cold soup, looked her dad in the eyes and asked, "Dad who is Seth?"

If she hadn't been looking straight at him, Maia would have missed the shock, anger, fear, and confusion that crossed her father's face in sequence and in split seconds before he pulled himself together into a questioning, but otherwise neutral facial expression and asked her, "Seth?"

Treading carefully, Maia bit her lip and thought about how best to proceed. "Yeah," she finally started again, "I don't know his last name. But he was in pictures with mom when Sarah and I were looking through Aunt Caroline's photo albums." Then Maia tried to match her father's questioning, but otherwise neutral facial expression.

Raising one bushy eyebrow Arthur said to her, "Are you asking about one of your mom's old boyfriends?" He tried to keep his tone as light as he could, but inside he was all worked up. Why was his daughter really asking about Seth?

"Yeah," Maia said as she looked down at her soup again.

"What makes you think I'd know this Seth character?" Arthur asked her, glad they weren't making eye contact because he didn't like having to lie to his daughter's face, but he really didn't want to talk to her about Seth. It was all too complicated, and he still didn't know why she wanted to know about him. Plus the way Seth was tied to Joan was really Joan's secret to share, and he had agreed with her that it would be up to her if and when she ever chose to tell Maia about her own pill addiction.

"Well Aunt Caroline says that he was mom's last boyfriend before you. She said he loved her, but that mom left him for you anyways," Maia said as she snuck a quick glance up at her father. As she did she saw him smile a little when she said that her mother left Seth for him.

"I guess she did," Arthur said. Then he followed that up with,"I'm glad she did." Maia looked up at her father when he said the last part with a surprising amount of emotion. Arthur saw the questioning look that appeared on Maia's face, and he tried to explain saying, "Otherwise we wouldn't have you," as he reached out and tousled her hair.

"You're so weird," Maia said then as she smiled and reached up to help her hair recover from her dad. Deciding that the conversation wasn't going to go much of anywhere with her dad, at least not today, Maia stopped pursuing it, asking instead, "If Sarah's home sick this weekend and I'm doing okay, do you think that you and I could go miniature golfing?" Despite Arthur's attempts to teach his daughter how to play "real" golf, she'd resisted. She remained true to miniature golfing though, and the two hadn't been in quite awhile.

"Sure," he said to her. Then he asked, "You want me to reheat the soup for you?"

Maia shook her head as she pushed the bowl away, "I'm not really hungry dad. Thanks though."

Arthur studied Maia again. She seemed happier and less pensive than when he first set the bowl of soup down in front of her, but despite her efforts at a carefree demeanor Arthur could read her, and he knew that all was not yet right in her head. Instead of saying this, however, he said, "You're mother isn't going to be happy with me if I don't get you to eat something." And then he gave her some pleading eyes.

Begrudgingly, Maia pulled the bowl back towards her, and took a few spoonfuls of cold soup before pushing it away again. "I tried dad. I'm just not hungry. Just tell mom I tried?"

Arthur smiled at his daughter. For better or worse the two of them were good conspirators against Joan. He took the bowl from her then and poured the soup down the garbage disposal before rinsing the dish and sticking it in the dishwasher. "Alright then - back to bed or do you want to watch something on TV?"

"Bed," Maia said after deliberating for a moment. She wasn't all that tired, but she thought some time alone was maybe just what she needed, even if it wasn't because of any lingering physiological symptoms.

Arthur followed his daughter out of the kitchen and down the hall to her bedroom. Leaning on the doorframe as Maia crawled back under her covers, he reminded her that he'd be around if she needed anything. When he got a nod of acknowledgement back from his daughter, Arthur turned and headed back down the hall. He checked his watch as he tried to calculate how long Joan would need to pick up Sarah, get to the doctor, and get home. Once they got Sarah squared away, he and Joan had a lot to talk about. Maia had been home from spring break/NYC for nearly a month now. Arthur couldn't imagine that she'd held on to any questions she had about Seth arising from pictures she looked at with Sarah for all that time. Something else must have happened to bring Seth to her mind enough that she wanted to ask about him. Seth Newman. He'd been an ongoing issue in his and Joan's relationship. And as much as he wanted to trust his wife and Seth, he just didn't. Honestly it wasn't even so much that he didn't trust Joan; he really didn't trust Seth.


	14. A Family Affair

**Chapter 14: A Family Affair**

Whatever virus had been keeping Maia down all week had hit Sarah harder. By the time that the school nurse called Joan, Sarah's fever was at 102 and she'd vomited twice. Joan promised the nurse she'd be right over, and then called Arthur as soon as she got off the phone. Determining that Maia was completely knocked out asleep, Joan left the house once Arthur called to say was halfway home - both adult Campbells hoping that Maia didn't wake up until after Arthur arrived back at the house in the next 10 minutes.

On the way to pick up Sarah Joan called Dr. Morgan's office to get Sarah in to make sure she didn't have something totally different from what Maia had, and then she called her sister. Caroline had been responding well to treatments and was seemingly on the road to recovery. Still Joan didn't like that she was going to have to burden her sister with a sick daughter, but she knew that if their roles were reversed that she'd want to know if Maia was going home from school sick. Assuring Caroline that she and Arthur would take care of Sarah, Joan suggested that Sarah could face time her later so that mother and daughter could talk.

Once Joan got Sarah in the car, the pair hadn't even been able to make it to the doctor's office before Joan had to pull over so Sarah could throw up on the side of the road. Rummaging through her purse for some tissues, Joan did her best to try to clean Sarah up and comfort her. Then the doctor's office visit had taken ages - first with a tremendously long wait in the waiting room, and then a similarly long wait once they were back in an exam room. Joan tried not to be too impatient since the office had made an appointment for Sarah as Joan called from the car. Nonetheless, by the time Joan and Sarah got home both of them were completely wiped out - one from sickness and the other from stress over the whole situation.

Arthur did not greet the duo at the door, which sort of surprised Joan but then she thought about their own recovering daughter and figured that he was with her. Joan helped Sarah up the stairs and into the bathroom so she could get herself cleaned up and brush her teeth. After making sure her niece had some clean pajamas and was going to be okay getting herself cleaned up and into bed, Joan headed back downstairs to get Sarah a glass of water and some medication from Maia's bathroom. Two sick girls. This, she thought to herself, is why it was a good thing they only had one daughter. Kids giving each other illness back and forth was definitely a mess, and something that she and Arthur had largely avoided by having only one child. Popping into Maia's bedroom en route to her bathroom, Joan saw that her daughter was still in bed, but Arthur wasn't anywhere nearby. Intent on looking for Arthur and getting meds for Sarah Joan hadn't even noticed that Maia was awake and studying her as she passed through her bedroom.

"Is Sarah okay?" Maia called out to her mom when she saw the bathroom light go on, and heard her mom poking around in the medicine cabinet.

"Maia!" Joan exclaimed as she poked her head out of the bathroom door, "I didn't notice that you were awake. How are you feeling sweetheart?" Maia's long blonde hair had been tied up in a ponytail at one point, but it was now askew and most of the hair was no longer in the hair elastic. Joan made a mental note that after she checked in with Sarah, she needed to come back down and help Maia wash her hair in the sink if she wasn't up for a shower.

"I'm okay," Maia responded as she flipped out from under her covers and over onto her stomach. Propping her elbows up so she could rest her head in her hands, Maia returned her mother's gaze as she tried to study her for any difference from how she usually was. But nothing looked different about her mother. In fact her mother just stood there smiling at her. "Mom? What are you smiling at?" Maia asked her mother.

"You," Joan said as she tossed her own long blonde hair, "If you're flipping around on your bed like that you must be feeling a lot better than you were earlier today." When she said it Maia couldn't help smiling back. She knew that her mother loved her, and her father said her mother was more affectionate with her than anyone, but still her mother was more likely to be critical of her bouncing on the bed than pleased that she was bouncy. And yet when her mother had just spoken to her, it was with a smile on her face and completely free of any judgement or scolding.

"Yeah," Maia said, "But Sarah's sick now?"

"Unfortunately yes," Joan told her daughter as she shook the Pepto she had in her hand, "And I think she might even have it worse than you. Joan gathered up the meds she was taking upstairs, and told her daughter she'd be back in a bit. As she headed out of Maia's room, Joan turned back and asked, "Do you know where your dad is?"

Maia shook her head, "He made me eat some soup, but then I went back to bed," she explained as she kept her head down and focused on her iPad. Joan shrugged then and headed out, knowing that her daughter was so engrossed with that retina screen that she wasn't even in the conversation with her anymore.

After getting Sarah tucked in and appropriately medicated, Joan went on the hunt for her husband. For his part Arthur knew that Joan had returned, but he was too worked up to be able to fake civility with her in front of either of the girls. Plus he knew that the girls really needed looking after, so he figured he'd let Joan handle all that before they went at it. In the time that had passed since Maia asked him about Seth, Arthur had gone from incensed to just sad. He really hoped that absolutely nothing was going on between Seth and Joan, but he also knew that there was always temptation there, and that even though he wouldn't admit it to Joan, Seth was better than he was about really listening to her. And Arthur knew that when he and Joan had an argument, at its root was often the fact that Joan didn't feel listened to or heard. So during the time that Joan was tending to the girls, Arthur alternated between trying to do some work at home and pacing the office trying to sort out his own feelings and just what he wanted to say to his wife.

When she breezed through the office door, however, she looked exhausted and relieved. "Arthur!" she'd exclaimed, "Have you been hiding out in here just letting me play nurse?" When she'd said the part about playing nurse, she'd looked at him coyly, and he melted a little. No, he thought, don't just let this go we need to talk about it. But as he went to clear his throat and say his piece, her phone rang.

"Hi Caroline," she said into her phone as she sat down on the gray sofa. Arthur sighed and decided that their conversation would clearly have to wait. He sat across from her, still in his desk chair, as she relayed the information about Sarah, the visit to the doctor, Sarah vomiting on the side of the road, everything. Arthur felt a little bad for Joan then, and a little bad that he'd just let her handle everything when she and Sarah came home. Clearly she'd had her hands full. "Are you sure?" was the next thing he heard Joan say into the phone. Arthur's ears perked up as he wondered what they were talking about. He figured it out when Joan then said, "Okay, we'll see you in a little while then."

Hanging up, she took a breath first before looking up and over at her husband. "Caroline and Ron are on their way. They wanted to be with Sarah when she's sick, and to make sure that we didn't have to take off more work to look after their daughter. I told her we'd be happy to do it, but she insisted," Joan said as she stood up. Turning to leave the room she added, "I'm going to go and see what we have for dinner. They left shortly after I called when I was on my way to pick Sarah up this afternoon. They'll be here in about an hour, hour and a half."

Arthur raised his eyebrows at his wife. She was definitely a force to be reckoned with. She looked exhausted, but there she was heading out to make sure they could feed her sister and her sister's husband because they were stopping by to pick up their daughter, who Joan had been more than willing to take in like her own child. "Well," Arthur said to himself, "I guess we'll talk later."

After locating enough food in the kitchen to put together a reasonable dinner, Joan swung back by the office to see if Arthur could do some of the veggie chopping to make the salad while she helped her daughter get cleaned up. He nodded at her and tried to give her a smile. If Joan hadn't been so busy taking care of everyone else, and so exhausted from doing it all, she might have noticed that her husband seemed quieter and different than usual. But she didn't. She was just happy that he was up for putting the salad together and interested in hearing about what else she was planning on serving for dinner. Leaving Arthur surrounded by vegetables, Joan excused herself to her daughter's room. When she entered her room, Joan found Maia still on her bed looking at her iPad.

"Mai - what are you up to?" Joan asked her daughter as she sat down on the bed beside her.

"Just looking at stuff," Maia said absentmindedly as she looked over at her mother. Reaching up and taking what was left of Maia's ponytail down, Joan ran her fingers through her daughter's long blonde hair and pulled it back up in neat ponytail.

"What kind of stuff?" she asked her daughter, who seemed to have inherited Joan's private way of being. Maia had hit the home button on her iPad when Joan sat down, and once Maia set it down Joan knew that it went to sleep, only to be unlocked by a passcode.

"Internet videos, pictures, stuff like that," Maia told her mom as she rolled over and sprawled out on her back.

Joan smiled down at her daughter as she told her, "Your aunt and uncle are on their way down. They're going to spend the night here and then take Sarah home tomorrow so she can get better at home."

Maia looked concerned as she asked her mother, "But she's coming back right?"

"Yeah," Joan said, "She's coming back after she gets better." After a pause Joan asked Maia, "You want to take a shower? Or do you want me to help you wash your hair in the sink? I thought you could get cleaned up and maybe have some dinner with your dad and me, and your aunt and uncle."

Maia grinned up at her mom at the thought of being invited to have dinner with all the grown ups. "Okay." Although her parents had been around a lot this week, she'd been too sick to take advantage of any of their time. Having her aunt and uncle in town was just a bonus, and they usually had funny stories to share about her parents.

"Okay what?" Joan asked her, breaking through Maia's thoughts.

"Oh. I'll take a shower I guess," Maia said.

"Alright then, come get me when you're dressed and I'll help you dry your hair. I don't want you to wear yourself out before dinner. I'll lay out some clothes for you while you're in there," Joan told Maia, as Maia slid off the bed and headed toward her bathroom. Once she'd shut the bathroom door and flipped on the shower, Joan got up and headed into Maia's closet to find something comfortable but presentable for her to wear. These days Maia would usually protest if Joan offered to pick out her clothes. Maia thought she was too old for that, but Joan didn't like to give up that job. In part she liked to pick out Maia's clothes because she was just controlling, but she mostly liked to do it because she loved to see Maia's things and to dress her up. Giving up the job to Maia forced her to recognize that her little girl was growing up. Perusing Maia's large walk-in closet, Joan settled on a pair of stretchy twill pants in a bright yellow, a longer navy blue t-shirt with small white daises printed on it, and a white cardigan sweater in case Maia was cold. It was all Crewcuts, which Joan had always loved to dress Maia in because the clothes were so comfortable and soft, but also so neat and preppy looking. She put out a pair of sparkly navy ballet flats with the outfit, and stepped back to make sure she was good with the look. Nodding approval at herself, Joan smiled and then headed back down to the kitchen to see how her husband was coming along with the salad prep.

"Thank you," Joan said as she came up behind her husband and wrapped her hands around his waist. Raising herself slightly up onto her toes so she could kiss him on the cheek, Joan also told him, "Maia seems to be doing better."

"Oh good," Arthur replied as he turned toward her. Gesturing toward all the food Joan had laid out he added, "I hope she's hungrier than she was earlier today."

Joan smiled and told him how Maia had said that he "made her eat some soup."

Arthur chuckled as he said, "Something like that." Raising her eyebrows in response, Joan was able to nonverbally communicate a question to Arthur. Explaining what he meant, Arthur told Joan, "Your daughter had a little soup, but only under pressure. She tried but she just wasn't hungry."

Joan sighed a little and then said, "Selfishly, I can't wait until Maia is better. All this juggling is exhausting."

This time it was Arthur who raised an eyebrow, "Because when Maia is better than you can go back to spending time with Seth without raising anyone's suspicions." He said it flatly. He was honestly surprised both that he'd been able to hold it in for so long, and also that when he said it, the statement came out as a fact that was nearly emotionless. Emotionless was definitely not how he felt about it, but maybe he was just as exhausted as Joan was.

Crossing her arms in front of her and leaning back so she could take a good, long look at her husband Joan's blue eyes turned icy. "Excuse me," was all she could get out in response.

Arthur just looked at her. After a silent moment Joan pressed her husband, "What the hell Arthur? Where did that come from?"

"Ask your daughter, she's the one who asked me who Seth was," Arthur spat back at her, "Why in the hell would she ask me about Seth if something wasn't going on between you two?"

"I have no idea Arthur, but there isn't anything going on between me and Seth. I can't believe you still don't believe me about this. I chose you. I married you. Though at times like this I really wonder why," Joan shot back at her husband, whose blue eyes were now just as icy as hers.

"Joan!" Arthur exclaimed. He was pissed at the situation, but mostly he'd been worried he had somehow lost his wife and now she was saying she wished she hadn't married him. Perhaps in an effort to cover up his own hurt Arthur stabbed back, "You wonder why I don't believe you? Maybe because you've been in love with him before."

"Before we were MARRIED," Joan yelled back at him. After she said it, she expected the argument to continue, but instead he said nothing and let his eyes dart around - from her to behind her and back to her. Shaking his head he said, "We can talk about this later."

"Later?! Oh no Arthur, you can't bring this up and then decide that you don't want to talk about it!" Joan let him know as she pointed her finger at him.

"Joan. Seriously. We need to talk about this later," Arthur said as he nodded his head toward something behind her.

Spinning around Joan saw her wet headed daughter standing in the doorway. "Shit," she thought to herself as she wondered how much Maia had just heard. Fortunately Arthur was the first one to speak, "What can we help you with?" he asked his daughter who seemed frozen in place.

Maia stood there shell shocked and wide eyed. When she didn't say anything Arthur continued, "Mai, your mom and I are just having an argument. We're going to be fine. What's up?"

Very quietly and slowly Maia started to speak as she looked down at her feet, "Uh. It's just. Mom said to call for her when I was ready for her, to um, like dry my hair. And just. I was kind of hungry and so." She stopped talking then and raised her eyes up to look from parent to parent. Both Arthur and Joan thought Maia was going to say something else, but she didn't. Honestly Maia thought she was going to say something else too. She wanted to ask her parents if they were okay, if they loved each other, what was going on, but she was too afraid of their responses to utter the questions out loud. Instead she just turned and quickly headed back toward her bedroom.

"Maia!" Joan called after her. Maia turned and looked back toward the kitchen. "I'll be down in a second," Joan told her daughter in a much sweeter tone than she'd been taking with her husband.

"We are not done here," Joan then said through clenched teeth to her husband, "I'm going to help our daughter. I'm sure you can use the time I'm gone to dream up more insane stories about me."

As she turned on her heel and headed after Maia, Arthur went to speak but decided against it. Instead he leaned back against the sink and sighed. What had just happened. He thought he was the one with the righteous anger, but now they both were just angry and he had wondered why they were always couples who needed to blow up first and tear each other apart before they could work things out.

Peeking into Maia's room as she stood in the doorway and knocked on the wide open door, Joan didn't see her daughter anywhere. "Maia?" she called out with a little worry in her voice. At first she got no response, but on the second try she heard Maia call back to her, "I'm in here." Walking in and toward Maia's closet, Joan peered in. Her daughter was sitting on the floor holding her phone and looking very nervous. Taking a deep breath and mentally preparing herself to try to both have a serious conversation with Maia and reassure her enough to get her out of the closet and ready to have dinner with Caroline and Ron. This was going to be no small feat, and probably this dinner was going to be a mess of emotions and secrets. Joan and Arthur were skilled in pretending to be happy when they weren't, it sort of came with the territory of both being spies and being who they were in real life. But Maia was different, she had no experience in this and Joan knew that no matter how little Maia had overheard of her argument with Arthur, it was all pretty damaging to an 11 year old.

Sitting down on the floor across from her daughter - in the closet - Joan smiled at Maia even though Maia wasn't even looking at her. Giving her daughter time to decide she wanted to say something, and getting nothing but silence from Maia, Joan went first. "I'm sorry you had to hear me and your dad arguing, but your dad's right. Everything is going to be fine. We are probably just both too tired to be having any discussions about anything serious right now." Maia still said nothing, and still hadn't looked up from the closet carpet.

"Hey," Joan said as she reached out and went to pat Maia on the knee. When she did, Maia flinched away and scooted back further.

"Mai, what's going on?" Joan asked, though she knew at least part of what was going on.

Maia continued her silence for a minute more before finally telling her mother, "I'm not a little girl anymore. I know that sometimes people cheat in marriages. You don't have to lie to me and tell me everything is going to be fine." Maia said it all with some definite anger, but she never looked up from the ground, and although she emphasized her points firmly, she did actually raise her voice at her mother.

Joan was shocked speechless. Her mind was racing. She had a million questions for her daughter, but she couldn't get her brain to slow down enough for her to grab a question and pose it. As she sat there in shock, Maia was the one to break this silence. Again without lifting up her head Maia told her mother, "I thought you guys loved each other. I can't believe you'd do that to dad." If Maia had been looking at her mother, she'd have seen just how much her words hurt her mother. Joan looked visibly wounded when Maia made her last statement.

"Mai, I do love your dad. We do love each other," Joan started to gently protest.

"Maybe. But it sounded like you loved Seth too and that's not cool mom. That's a real jerk move to dad," Maia said as she got up and stalked out of the closet. Joan called after her, but Maia didn't stop and Joan didn't get up to chase her down. She was too hurt and upset. & quite frankly she was too shocked; never would she have guessed that her daughter might think she was being unfaithful to her father. Joan knew that Maia and Arthur were close, and that Maia was definitely a daddy's girl - or perhaps even more accurately, Arthur was completely head over heels for his daughter. Her own relationship with Maia was more tempered, but Maia had always come to her first for comfort, had looked up to her, and desperately wanted to please her. But tonight Maia had just said hurtful things and run off to her father. Still on the floor of her daughter's closet Joan let herself lean back against the wall and into Maia's lower rack of dresses. Surrounded by Maia's immaculate and well-thought out wardrobe, Joan gave herself a few minutes to just have a good cry.

Arthur was leaning on the sink and looking out the window. He wasn't really seeing anything outside, he just needed to let his brain not have to focus on anything but the darkness coming outside, so that he could try to concentrate on calming down and sorting out his feelings. After seeing Joan's reaction to his accusation, he had a sinking suspicion that maybe there was nothing going on with Joan and Seth - and that once again he'd jumped to conclusions there. "Damn Seth," he thought to himself, "he always interferes with my relationship with my own wife - even when he's not actually doing anything. Just his existence is a problem." But after allowing himself to think that way for a moment, Arthur had to quash the thought and remember that despite all his negative feelings toward Seth, Seth had been helpful to him and Joan by helping Joan stay in control over the pills. Sighing deeply, Arthur just tried to focus on breathing. He was still standing there breathing, and still feeling broken when Maia came dashing into the kitchen. He barely had enough time to turn toward her before she nearly tackled him as she threw her arms around his waist, hugged him tightly, and started to cry. Awkwardly wrapping his own arms around her, he hugged her back and tried to figure out what was happening. He hadn't heard any yelling, and Joan wasn't tearing down after Maia, so it seemed like Maia couldn't be upset from anything with her mother. Arthur tried to get Maia to talk. At first she didn't/wouldn't, and then when she did she was talking straight into his body and he couldn't hear anything. Gently unwrapping her arms from his waist and picking her up, Arthur set his daughter down on the kitchen island. She was still crying, and she'd been crying so hard her nose was running. Grabbing a paper towel because the tissues were too far away, he had her blow her nose. Then since they were now at eye level with each other, he put his hands on her shoulders and asked her, "Sweetheart, *what* is going on?"

Maia took a really ragged breath and with tears still streaming down her face blubbered, "Daddy do you still love mom?"

"What?!" Arthur said - shocked at the question. This certainly wasn't what he was expecting. "Of course Maia. I've been in love with your mom since I first met her."

Maia's body shook from the heaving crying she was doing, but when her brain finally processed what her father had said to her she seemed to stop suddenly and look straight at her dad. "How can you?"

"How can I not?" he asked her. Then with a furrowed brow because he was still trying to figure out what had brought all this one, Arthur asked her, "Maia, how could you think I didn't love your mom? What's going on?"

Tears filled up Maia's eyes again and she dropped her head so that she was no longer looking at her dad. Arthur watched as tears dropped down on her yellow pants. Then she said quietly and through her tears, "Because right now I don't think I love her. I think I'm more than mad at her."

Gently lifting his daughter's chin up so that he could see her eyes, Arthur asked her, "Why?"

Maia nearly launched herself off the island then as she wrapped her arms around her father's neck. Stumbling a little from the force of his daughter throwing herself on him, Arthur did eventually catch her and he held her like he had when she was a little girl. She cried on his shoulder as she told him, "I heard her talking to that Seth guy this afternoon and telling him that he couldn't come over because you'd kill him, and that they'd just see each other next week. And I heard you guys fighting."

Ah, Arthur thought, this was about Seth. See. Again. Seth Newman was causing all kinds of hell in his family. Setting Maia back down on the island, Arthur took her face in his hands and kissed her on the forehead. "Maia, what exactly do you think is going on with your mom and Seth?," Arthur asked his daughter as she brushed her still damp hair back behind her ears. Stepping back he watched her as she struggled to vocalize what she'd been fearing since she'd overheard her mother's side of her conversation with Seth earlier that day.

"I'm not sure, but I think I'm afraid that she loves Seth too, or that she's like doing stuff with him behind your back," Maia finally said haltingly, and very quietly. She'd averted her gaze from her father's as she voiced these fears.

Arthur sighed again and nodded his head. Then he stepped closer to Maia and just hugged her as he told her, "Maia Maia, shhhh. I think you and I might have both had the same overreaction." Knowing that Maia would have no idea what he was really talking about Arthur continued in the most comforting but vague way he could, "Mai, your mom and Seth have been friends for a long time. Longer than your mom and I have even known each other. Just because they hang out doesn't mean that she's cheating on me." Pausing as he thought about what else he'd need to tell Maia to reassure her, Arthur added, "Your mom knows I'm a little sensitive to just how well she and Seth get along, and so I bet she was just trying to help Seth remember that no matter how good of friends they are, she and I are the ones married to each other."

Arthur stopped talking then. He was trying to gauge how Maia was reacting to what he was saying, and so he pulled back and lifted her chin to look at her, "Okay Mai?"

"But what you said to mom?" Maia started to ask.

"It was just your mom and me being a little dramatic. You know we argue sometimes. We live with secrets all the time sweetheart - for our jobs, and so sometimes it's hard not to imagine secrets when we're not working our jobs," he tried to gently explain to his damp headed daughter as he also tried to convince himself that what he was saying was the absolute truth. Her certainly hoped that all he'd told Maia was in fact true.

Maia nodded solemnly and wiped her eyes as her tears started to slow. Arthur grabbed another paper towel and offered it to her. She dried her eyes and face, and blew her nose. Then as she got her own breathing under control, she seemed to have a sudden realization because she sat up straight and froze in that position. "Daddy?" she began hesitantly, "I think I need to go apologize to mom."

Arthur raised a furry eyebrow at her, "What happened Maia?" he asked her cautiously.

"I might have said some pretty mean stuff and accused mom of not treating you right," Maia stated quietly as she looked down at her hands.

Arthur whistled. "Wow kiddo. I'm kind of flattered."

"Da-ad!" Maia protested as her head flew up and her eyes went wide.

"I'm kidding. Well. I'm not, but yes - you should go apologize," Arthur said as he lifted Maia up by her armpits and set her down on her own feet. She nodded and hesitated, and so Arthur put his arm around her shoulders and walked her back down to her bedroom to find Joan.

After permitting herself some self-indulgent crying, Joan had forced her feelings back down. She had a dinner to finish fixing, a daughter to find and finish getting ready, and she still probably needed to check in on Sarah once before her parents arrived. Wiping away her tears and taking a few deep breaths, Joan got herself under control and headed into Maia's bathroom to clean herself up. She was still in the bathroom looking at herself in the mirror when she heard her husband and her daughter calling out to her, "Joan! Mom?!"

Joan looked at her eyes. Both they and her nose were still red from her crying. Nothing much to do now, she figured, so she opened the bathroom door to indicate that was where she was. Arthur got to her first. When Joan turned toward him he could see all the iciness was gone from her eyes. She might still be pissed at him, but now all he saw in her eyes was just blue sadness. "I'm sorry," was all he got out before Maia burst in between her parents and looked up at her mother. Freezing for a moment, Maia then stepped back into her dad's knees, seemingly a little nervous. "Mom?" she asked her mother very carefully.

Joan turned her gaze down to her daughter. Maia's hair was crazy. Half wet, half dry, and all tangled up. Joan couldn't see her daughter's face, because she had it turned down toward her sparkly shoes. Joan reached out and stroked her daughter's still tear stained cheek, "You a little less angry?" she asked her daughter softly.

Maia nodded, and Joan told her, "I'm glad." Then she offered, "You want me to help you with your hair now?"

Maia nodded again, and this time she dared to glance up at her mom. Joan smiled at her daughter as she pulled her toward her, giving her a quick hug before shepherding her toward the toilet seat so Maia could sit while Joan blew her hair dry. Turning back toward Arthur she gave him a half smile and said, "Thank you. We can talk more later?" And this time it didn't sound like a threat. Arthur nodded and said he'd check on Sarah. He did, and found his niece sleeping soundly, just her head and a foot poking out of the sheets. Arthur closed the door again as softly as he could, and then headed back toward the kitchen to pour himself a drink. He figured that would help him loosen up and get ready to feign total happiness and normalcy while they had dinner with Caroline and Ron. He and Joan definitely still had things to talk about, but he was hopeful that now they could just talk rather than yell. And he was mostly reassured that he hadn't lost Joan to Seth.

In the bathroom, Maia sat quietly on the lid of the toilet seat while Joan stood and brushed her hair. Carefully working through the tangles in Maia's long hair Joan let the two of them be together in silence for a little while. Honestly she wasn't quite sure how to approach the whole situation. She was still a little hurt by the conclusions Maia had jumped to, and she wanted to reassure her daughter that everything was fine, but she didn't want to jump into how she knew Seth. Glad to have the de-tangling task in front of her Joan let her fingers work while she thought about what to say. Maia was equally lost in her own thoughts. Her mom had smiled at her, and so Maia thought that probably was a good sign that she didn't hate her. Still, Maia also knew her mother to be the kind of woman to smile sweetly while inside judging them harshly. She'd seen her mother do it from time to time with folks they ran into at the store, or the mall, or just out. When Joan had effectively de-tangled Maia's hair enough to be able to flip on the hair dryer and go to work on blowing it dry, Maia was grateful that the noise meant that they couldn't really talk to each other. She sat as still as she could while her mother worked her magic with her hair. As shallow as it was, Maia was glad that her mother was pretty and cared about her appearance. Her friends commented on her mom's style, and it made Maia feel good. It also made her feel more confident about the advice her mother gave her about her own emerging style. As much as it might pain Maia to admit out loud, she knew that her mother would never let her leave the house looking a mess. Her mom always had suggestions, and although Maia was still too young to be able to share any clothes with her mother, she loved that her mother would, from time to time, share her jewelry when she had a piece that would just complete an outfit Maia was wearing. It made Maia feel grown up and connected to her mother. Joan definitely had a way of maintaining power hierarchies - at work and at home - and these little gestures helped Maia feel like even though she was the kid, the relationship she had with her mom could mature with time.

Joan found herself calmed by the process of brushing Maia's hair and then blowing it dry section by section. Maia was sitting as still as possible in an attempt to make the styling easier for Joan, a gesture Joan read as both thoughtful and repentant. As the adult she knew that she probably should be the one to start the conversation with her daughter, but she still couldn't find the right way to start, and so she just let herself be gentle with Maia's hair and hope that she was sending her daughter a message that it was going to be okay. As she finished the blow drying, Joan brushed part of Maia's hair up and twirled it into a little a little bun at the back of her head, leaving the rest of Maia's long blond hair down and rippling over her shoulders. "There," Joan said - the first word she'd spoken to Maia since Maia agreed to let her do her hair. In response Maia got up and stood in front of the mirror. She smiled at her reflection, and Joan smiled into the mirror too.

"Thanks mom," Maia said quietly as she took in her reflection a little more before she cast her eyes down toward the sink.

"You're welcome," Joan responded as she ran her fingers through Maia's hair once more, "You look very nice." Taking quick glances up at the mirror, Maia could see that her mother was studying her. Interrupting Maia's thoughts about what her mother was thinking, Joan quietly added "Maybe a longer necklace? Do you have one you think would go with your outfit?" Maia opened up the drawer in her bathroom that held all her necklaces. For an 11 year old she had a surprisingly large jewelry collection - something that made a lot of her girlfriends jealous. "How about something simple like this?" Maia asked as she held out a long silver chain with a silver Paloma Picasso dove on it.

The necklace had been a present from Arthur for Maia's 11th birthday. Maia had recently watched Breakfast at Tiffany's with her cousin, and so Arthur had decided that he'd get Maia her first little blue box from Tiffany & Co, and in it was this necklace. Arthur had really wanted to ensure that he was the first guy to give Maia expensive jewelry. When he'd told Joan this, she'd laughed out loud at him before asking why it was so important to him. As if it was obvious to everyone but Joan, Arthur explained, "Because you know guys, they think they can give girls jewelry and then still go off and do whatever they want, like it makes up for their behavior. But I want Maia to know that jewelry can be thoughtful and not a make up present. She should get to just enjoy something pretty before she becomes cynical about it later in life."

Joan listened to her husband and her face couldn't contain her amusement at his reasoning. Arthur was definitely a piece of work. "I'm just going to hope that she doesn't get involved with guys who would buy her jewelry so they can go sleep with other women," Joan commented, but then added, "That said, I think you're being very sweet Arthur. It's a great sentiment."

"I'm just going to hope she doesn't want to date anyone until she's at least 30, and that she never wants to sleep with absolutely anyone!" Arthur said only half jokingly.

"And I can't wait to watch you have to handle Maia dating," Joan retorted, "You think I'm a mess with how nervous I get about her life now, but you're going to out do me like crazy with your anxiety over her dating!"

Arthur really couldn't say anything to that. It was just true. So instead he'd kissed his wife and told her, "I got you something too?"

"Oh because you were being thoughtful, or is this a make up present for some sin you're going to reveal to me now?" Joan teased him. He'd laughed, kissed her again, and told her it was just thoughtful. He wanted to get something for both his favorite girls. He'd then brought out a little blue box for her that contained a simple but beautiful pair of diamond earrings. Her eyes had gone wide and bright when she saw them sparkling in the box.

"I got Maia the dove because she's growing up and I want her to be able to take flight like a bird. But doves are also a sign of peace and I think that it's a nice hope that she'll have a peaceful adolescence," Arthur explained as Joan just grinned at him and his sentimentality. She didn't get to see this side of Arthur often and she liked to just let him talk when he got in that space. "And for you, well you're like a diamond - strong, elegant, able to withstand tremendous pressure, and timelessly beautiful." Joan rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but leaning in to kiss him because he was being so sweet and sappy.

As Maia was now holding the dove necklace out to see what Joan thought of it as an accessory to her outfit, Joan was thinking of that moment. She reached up and twisted the diamond earring in her right ear as she nodded at Maia. Joan nodded at Maia's necklace and told her, "Yup. I think that's great." She smiled at remembering both her daughter's excitement at getting the necklace and Arthur's joy giving it to her. She also smiled because she was remembering the sweetness between her and Arthur then. Watching as Maia slipped the necklace over her head, Joan was struck by how pretty Maia was becoming. She'd been a cute little girl, the kind of baby and toddler that strangers commented on in the grocery store. And although Joan still thought of Maia as her little girl, looking at her now Joan could see that while she still was girlish, she was also really growing up. Maia's chubby childhood cheeks were gone, and high cheekbones were starting to become noticeable. Joan had gotten Maia a training bra a few months ago, not that there was much there but still. Pulling Maia's hair out from under the necklace, Joan smiled at her in the mirror. "You were right Maia, you're not a little girl anymore. Look how grown up you look," she offered her daughter as a compliment.

Maia smiled a little sheepishly, knowing that her mother was referring to what she'd angrily told her earlier that evening. "Thanks mom," she said quietly as she looked down again.

Joan noticed that her daughter seemed more than a little uncomfortable, and so she reached out and put her arms around her neck and hugged Maia back into her. "Mai," she started, "I love your dad and I love you. I'm never going to try to break up our family." With that she kissed Maia on the top of her head. Maia watched her mother in the mirror, and she quietly told her mom, "Thanks." And then after a pause Maia even more quietly added, "I'm sorry."

Joan nodded and then whispered to her daughter, "I know." Maia's head flew up when Joan said that and nothing more. Joan noticed this sudden reaction and asked her daughter, "What?"

Maia looked at her mother without responding at first. Studying her mother's face in the mirror, Maia didn't see anger there or even sadness, but then her mother had always been extraordinarily hard to read - a fact that had become more frustrating to Maia as she'd gotten older. Joan noticed her daughter studying her, and she raised her eyebrows and give her daughter a questioning half smile. "You're not going to tell me about how rude I was to you?" Maia tentatively asked her mother. Maia knew from her own past experience that raising her voice at her mother was a definite no go. Backtalk was equally disliked, even if it wasn't with a raised voice. Whenever Maia had tried either Joan had scolded her - telling her about how rude and disrespectful she was being, and that the behavior was totally unlikeable. Then her mother would stalk out of whatever room they were in telling her to come and find her when she was ready to go back to being good and likable. And that was just for arguing or protesting about really little things compared to how she'd basically called her mother a cheater tonight. Maia knew her mother was good at holding onto things, and she'd figured that when they finally got to talking about all about what went down earlier in her closet that her mother would light into her. A quiet validation of her feelings was not anywhere close to what Maia had been expecting from her mother.

Joan chuckled a little at her daughter's question. "No. It sounds like you already know," Joan said gently, "And I'm not mad at you."

Maia's eyes came back into view, and she looked her mother's reflection in the eye. "Thanks. Dad explained everything."

It was all Joan could do to not burst out of her skin with curiosity when Maia told her that her father had explained everything. What had he explained, she wondered. "Oh yeah? You okay then?" Joan tried to ask her daughter very very calmly.

Maia nodded and because she felt her mother tense when she'd said that her dad had explained everything, Maia added a little explanation. "Yeah. Dad said he's just a little sensitive to your friendship with Seth."

Joan nodded. She couldn't say anything. It was true. Arthur was definitely sensitive on the topic of Seth Newman. And it seemed like that explanation had sufficed for Maia so Joan didn't push the topic anymore. Knowing that she needed to get down to the kitchen to at least start cooking before her sister and Ron pulled up, Joan nodded again and told her daughter, "Okay - you want to come and keep me company in the kitchen while I get some dinner ready?" Maia nodded back, followed her mom out of the bathroom and down to the kitchen. Part of Joan wanted to send Maia to watch TV so she and Arthur could talk, but it sounded like everyone was in an okay enough place that dinner could go off smoothly and she didn't want to be the one to mess with that equilibrium. So instead she had her little family of three in the kitchen and she tasked Arthur and Maia with different little jobs while she put together a meal.


	15. Broken or Just Bent?

**Chapter 15: Broken or Just Bent?**

Arthur had to admit that dinner went better than he'd expected. After leaving Joan and Maia in Maia's bathroom, he really wasn't sure how things would turn out. Plus he still hadn't fully resolved his own feelings about the situation with Joan and Seth, and about himself and Joan. In talking with Maia he'd verbalized strong feelings toward Joan and explained her relationship with Seth to Maia in a way that was forgiving. Mostly he believed these things all to be true, but that was all a mostly one-sided conversation since Joan wasn't even really privy to what he'd told Maia. And so Arthur still didn't know quite how she felt about his accusations, and he hadn't really explored with Joan why their daughter had overheard her telling Seth not to come to the house. On the one hand he was glad that she'd told him that. On the other hand, why would she have to tell him that? When Joan and Maia returned to the kitchen, they came back together. And so it wasn't until Caroline and Ron rang the doorbell and Maia ran off excitedly to answer the door that the two adults had a chance to do more than exchange looks. In the less than 60 seconds they had, Joan thanked Arthur for how he'd handled Maia, and he'd learned that Maia was mostly okay. Dinner went smoothly after that, with Caroline and Ron asking Maia a lot of questions about school, and the four adults also catching up about some plans for the girls' upcoming 6th grade graduation.

After dinner Caroline and Ron excused themselves to go and check in with their daughter and get themselves settled in for the night after their long drive from NYC. Joan sent Maia to get ready for bed then too. Maia had protested for a moment, but in truth she was exhausted and so she headed down the hall when her father told her that she needed to rest up if she thought she'd be well enough for mini golfing later in the weekend. Joan shot Arthur a look when he said that, and as soon as Maia was down the hall she'd asked him, "Mini golfing? Do you really think that's a good idea with her just getting better after basically a week home from school?" She hadn't meant it to come out as snippy and questioning as it had. She really was mostly surprised that he'd already made weekend plans with Maia, and Joan was also genuinely concerned about whether Maia was well enough for that. But when she'd said it, even she knew that it had come out mean and like she questioned his judgement about his daughter's health.

Arthur shot her a surprised and hurt look when she said it before just shaking his head and quietly saying, "Seriously Joan? We can't be alone for thirty seconds before you question my parenting?" He meant to stop there because he knew that his hurt feelings were really about what had just happened, but it was like he couldn't stop himself. "Shall I remind you that our daughter overheard you telling another man that he couldn't come over because *I* would kill him? - not that he couldn't come over because you're a married woman?"

As the words came out of her husband's mouth, Joan visibly stiffened. After a split second frozen with her back to her husband, Joan whipped around so fast that her blond hair swung around her before coming to rest around her shoulders. If she could have shot fire from her eyes, it would have happened in that moment. Through clenched teeth as she tried to keep her voice down, Joan practically spat her words back at him. "Are we really going back to this Arthur? Do you really not trust me Arthur? Do you really think I'm fucking Seth Newman?"

"Well then just what did our daughter overhear then?" Arthur asked unable to not dig himself in deeper.

Joan sighed deeply, rolled her eyes, and told him, "Really Arthur? What the hell do you think she was overhearing? Why do YOU think I'd be talking to Seth? -it's not like you don't know why Seth is someone I need to talk to sometimes. Hell you even said you were BEHIND the idea of him sponsoring me!" She'd tried not to completely lose her cool. She didn't want her sister to overhear their martial argument, and she didn't want Maia to catch any sounds of it either. The evening had been traumatic enough for everyone without them all revisiting the situation.

Now it was Arthur's turn to sigh. He studied his wife as she stood there across from him. Even angry he couldn't help but notice how pretty she was. Her eyes were boring into him like icicles, but he let that wash over him as he looked at her standing before him. She'd curled her hair that morning, and although the curls were looser and messier now, they were messy-pretty. Her blonde hair was complimented by the aqua colored shirt she was wearing that accentuated all her curves in all the right ways. Before he could finish studying her, she'd turned on the heel of her Tory Burch ballet flat and told him, "I'm going to put our daughter to bed, since apparently you need more time to think about a pretty simple question."

Her voice and her quick turn to walk out of the room snapped him back into reality. "Crap," he said to himself. Slumping back against the counter Arthur tried to get himself back together. As he thought about what Joan had asked him, the questions really hit him. She was asking about why she and Seth still met up and talked regularly, and why he'd supported that relationship. The reason behind it all suddenly smacked Arthur up side the head and he went into a different kind of panic. No longer was he worried at all about the state of his marriage or the faithfulness of his wife. Instead he was terrified that she'd had a relapse, and that instead of trying to support her he'd gone off the deep end about her relationship with Seth - her sponsor - someone he'd told her he supported her talking to when she needed that kind of help. "Shit, shit, shit," he said aloud as he berated himself for his own stupidity. Dashing out of the kitchen and down the hall to Maia's room, Arthur burst into his daughter's bedroom. "Dad?" Maia asked him a little concerned at his sudden arrival in her room.

For her part, Joan had turned away from Maia to glare in Arthur's direction, "Everything okay Arthur?" she'd asked him. Realizing there was no way for him to say anything he wanted to say or ask anything he wanted to ask in this particular moment, Arthur felt a little sheepish. Nodding he tried to lightly apologize for his abruptness and just shrug it off as him wanting to make sure that he got to say goodnight to Maia before she fell asleep. Joan knew he was lying through his teeth, but she didn't let on. Maia rolled her eyes and told her father he was a little weird, but she let him kiss her on the head as he wished her goodnight. On his way back out of the bedroom, he squeezed Joan's shoulder. She figured that he'd finally heard what she'd been asking him, but she wasn't ready to let him off the hook that quickly or completely, and so she shot him an annoyed look as he left the room. When he saw the way Joan was looking at him Arthur felt awful, and it must have showed on his face, because for a split second he saw regret on Joan's face before she turned away and back toward their daughter.

Heading down the hallway to their bedroom, Joan felt bad that she'd cut Arthur off with just a look after he tried to be reassuring back in Maia's room. For whatever reason she and Arthur just seemed to have that kind of relationship where, once they got into an argument, neither of them wanted to concede anything, and when one of them did concede something the other wasn't about to let things go that easily. Why they were like that she really didn't know. Deep down she was fairly certain that they both actually loved each other unconditionally, but maybe because so much of their lives were about never giving up anything, living like they loved each other unconditionally made them both feel even more vulnerable than when they were sometimes jerks to each other.

Entering the bedroom, Joan didn't see Arthur right away. She listened for the shower running, but didn't hear that either. He wasn't there. Mentally scolding herself for being so stand-offish to Arthur, Joan went hunting for him. She found him upstairs in the guest room that Caroline and Ron were in. The three of them were chatting about Sarah and Maia, and making plans for Maia to pick up Sarah's schoolwork, just as Sarah had done for Maia all week. Joan smiled at how easily the three of them were with each other, and she tried hard to keep that smile on as she stepped into the room herself. Casting her eyes down as she sidled up to her husband, she greeted him with a quiet little, "Hey," before letting him know, "I'm glad I found you. I wondered where you'd gone off to."

Whether Joan was being sweet to him because they were in the company of others, or whether she'd had a change of heart since shooting him that irritated look in Maia's room, Arthur didn't know. He did know that no matter what, he was going to take it. Fake it 'til you make it, he'd always figured, and maybe if they played at being normal and happy with each other, then that might carry over into how they were when the eventually left Caroline and Ron's room. He had some time to think about it as Joan fussed over her sister and Ron, making sure they had everything they needed, making sure that Caroline wasn't overdoing anything, making sure they knew that they didn't need to come down & that they could stay as long as they'd like if that was easier than going back to NY and having to bring Sarah back to DC. Caroline just grinned at her sister and chuckled as Joan worried over her and offered her everything. "Joanie," she finally said as she interrupted her sister, "Stop fretting. You're the best little sister, and Sarah is extraordinarily lucky to have you as her aunt. I'm fine. We're fine, Sarah will be fine. Stop worrying." Caroline stopped there and then pulled Joan into a bear hug, catching Joan a little off guard. Where Joan was reserved with her emotions, Caroline was her polar opposite - always ready to hug everyone and anyone. "Thanks for everything," Caroline said to Joan as she squeezed her. Lifting her eyes up to Arthur, she added, "Thank you too Arthur. I know you're a great uncle to Sarah and a great husband to Joan."

"Well I don't know about that," Arthur said as he glanced quickly at Joan before making eye contact with Caroline again, "I'm sure I'm not as good as she deserves, but I try."

Joan had to smile then. "Aw, come on, smart, powerful, dashing, a romantic - I heard about your little getaway over spring break," Caroline told Arthur, "Don't be so modest!"

"Okay okay," Joan said breaking up the love fest, "I'm going to take my husband back downstairs so you two can get some rest after your trip down here and before you have to head back up to New York." She took Arthur's hand then, and they all bid each other goodnight.

Joan kept holding Arthur's hand as they walked down the hallway and headed down the stairs. He was happy to have a piece of her to hold on to. He'd been so afraid that he wouldn't get that again when he finally figured out what was going on between Joan and Seth. Neither Joan nor Arthur said anything as they walked through their house that evening, but as they turned from the staircase and headed towards their bedroom Arthur gave Joan's hand a little squeeze and stroked her hand with his thumb. She didn't squeeze his hand back, but she also didn't pull away. On a Joan scale of emotions, that meant that they were probably okay. Not pulling away was actually a pretty positive sign, rather than the absence of emotions or neutrality that it might mean if it were anyone other than Joan.

"I'm sorry," Arthur finally blurted out after Joan shut the bedroom door behind them, "I just jumped to conclusions and didn't think, and I didn't give you any opportunity to um, provide context." Joan smirked a little at his use of the phrase "provide context." She knew that he'd caught himself and not said that he hadn't given her any opportunity to explain herself, and she knew that if he'd purposefully used "provide context" then he knew that (a) it would piss her off if she thought that he thought she needed to explain herself, and (b) he was wrong and they hadn't made the time to make sure they were in tune with what was going on in each other's lives - at least recently. Joan let these thoughts run through her head and tried to decide how she felt about them and how she wanted to respond. As she thought the time passed, and so Arthur started to panic a little more. He was never terribly good at long silences. Sure they'd had long periods of not speaking, but that was after they'd said everything they could say to each other. In moments like this, Arthur's tendency was to fill all silences with more words. Tonight he was trying to fill them with apologies and expressions of concern for Joan. "Joan, I didn't know. I should have known. I'm your husband. What's going on? Are you okay? What can I do for you?"

Joan still said nothing, and this time it wasn't just to be spiteful. She was just trying to figure out what to say and how to say what she might want to tell him. She loved Arthur. She'd already forgiven him in her heart as he'd been apologizing. And honestly it wasn't that she didn't want to say that out loud, it was just that as much as she loved Arthur their relationship was complicated and she'd never felt that comfortable talking with him about her pill addiction, the triggers, or coping. Arthur mistook Joan's silence for needing to hear more from him, or needing more than he could provide, so in a last ditch effort to get her to talk or at least demonstrate just how sorry he was and how much he realized he was wrong he offered, "Do you want me to have Seth come over? Maia's asleep. She'd never know. Joan - I'll call him right now."

Joan's head shot up when Arthur offered to invite Seth over now - at nearly 10:00 on a Friday night. "No. I don't need Seth right now Arthur," she told him quietly but firmly. After a beat she added, "But that's pretty big of you to offer. Thanks." Joan didn't say anything else right then. She just kept sitting on the bed, twisting her wedding band back and forth.

Arthur was pacing in front of her now. He clearly didn't know what to do and she needed to help him by telling him what was going on. He'd come clean and apologized, she needed to put him at ease, and help the two of them move on. As he passed her by for the umpteenth time, she reached out and grabbed his wrist, "Arthur," she said as he twisted toward her, "I'm okay. I wasn't sure I was going to be okay earlier this week and so I made plans to meet with Seth so he could keep me accountable. But then Maia stayed sick, and so I canceled. Seth offered to come over in case I was still feeling the way I was earlier, but I told him I was okay because I was okay today." Joan saw Arthur visibly relax as her words tumbled out.

When she saw him stiffen again she realized that he was still thinking about why she'd told Seth that Arthur would kill him if he came to the house. "Arthur," Joan started again, "I love you. I picked you. I married you. I still love you - even when you're insane and accuse me of things. Seth needs to remember all of that all the time, and so I wanted him to know that he couldn't come here, no matter what." When she finished talking Joan sighed deeply. She hadn't known how much of a weight would be lifted off her just by admitted all of that out loud.

Arthur was similarly relieved. He cupped Joan's face in his hands, and told her, "I love you too - even when I had those insane ideas about you and Seth. I wasn't so much angry as just sad that I might be losing you."

Joan rolled her eyes, "You're stuck with me Arthur Campbell." He hugged her then. He wanted to kiss her, but he'd held back. He knew that if she'd been thinking she needed to see Seth earlier this week than she must have been feeling really low. And as much as he was looking forward to some make up sex, he knew that probably what Joan needed most was comfort, compassion, and sleep. Plus with this whole Seth situation - imagined though it was - Arthur had been reminded that one of this downfalls in his relationship was that he wasn't always the listener or partner that Joan needed. Tonight he was determined to be that person even if it meant denying himself some more carnal desires. Hopefully he'd be with her forever, and so there would be other nights. Tonight was just going to be about ensuring that Joan felt secure.

_Thanks for all the reviews & glad I'm doing a decent job getting Arthur and Joan down on paper. Can't wait for the new season to start. In the meantime I'll try to wrap things up here soon! _


	16. Chasing Cars

**Chapter 16: Chasing Cars**

When they woke up the next morning, Arthur rolled toward his wife and told her, "I'm going to make us pancakes for breakfast." She gave him a sleepy but sweet smile that let him know that he'd made a good decision before she asked him rather, "So you want me to go and lay out the ingredients?" She knew that whenever Arthur made an attempt at cooking - which was really only pancakes or waffles - he approached the kitchen like it was a brand new place where everything was a mystery. If she didn't lay out the bowl and the ingredients for him - and the measuring cups and spoons - he'd ask her where each and every thing was. To avoid all that and just let him feel helpful, and let herself be cooked for, Joan would just do the prep work for him and leave him to do the measuring, mixing, and cooking. Still she always thought it was sweet when he made the effort to cook breakfast, and so setting things out for him was something she was always happy to do.

Caroline and Ron sauntered into the kitchen just after Arthur had the mix ready to go and the griddle hot. They caught up about how the night went with Sarah and then did some exchange of extended family news that hadn't happened the evening before. If it hadn't been for Sarah's sickness it would have been a pretty festive morning.

When Maia wandered into the kitchen a little while later, all the conversation ceased and all eyes were on Caroline. Her husband, along with Joan and Arthur both saw Caroline stop, stare, and grin at Maia when she came into view. After a moment Caroline felt and then saw all eyes on her. "What?!" Caroline asked the adults standing around her.

"What do you mean what?!" Joan asked her playfully, "You stopped talking mid-sentence and just grinned at my daughter like you knew some sort of incredible secret."

"It's no secret. Look at her Joan. She IS you when you were 12!" Caroline told her sister, still amazed at just how much Maia was a carbon copy of Joan.

Joan looked at her daughter then and smiled. Maia looked back at her mother and her aunt and rolled her eyes, "Um. You're just noticing that we look alike _now_? I've thought I've always looked like her," Maia told the grown ups as she gestured at her mother. It was true. They did look strikingly similar. Maia liked to think that her eyes were from her dad, but her dad and her mom basically had the same bright blue eyes. Still her mom's eyes were mostly serious. Her dad's were like a window into just what he was thinking and feeling; his eyes always gave away how he was feeling, and Maia knew that her eyes gave her away all the time to her parents. She didn't tell her mother or her aunt this in the moment though. Instead she just batted her eyes and smiled at them, making them laugh, and told her aunt, "And thanks for thinking I look 12. I still have a few months to go, but I'll take that as a compliment!"

"It's definitely a compliment to be told you look like your mother, "Arthur interjected as Joan blushed and slapped him on the shoulder. "What? I'm giving you a compliment too!" he said to Joan after the slap. She smiled at him but rolled her eyes.

Caroline assured Maia, "You've always looked like a mini Joan, but now you really are taking on so much more than just her looks. Come on. Tell me you didn't do your hair and put on lip gloss before you came out here?" Caroline eyed her niece up and down and then added, "And stayed in your pajamas so it would be like you wake up your most beautiful self!" Caroline chuckled as she said it and ran her fingers through her nieces hair.

Maia blushed. She'd been caught. And yes, that was exactly what she'd done. Maia wasn't sure when she'd started it, but at some point she'd noticed how her mother always looked put together, even when she was starting up the coffee maker and still in her pajamas. When she looked more closely at her mother she figured it out. Her mother always took the time to make sure her hair looked good and put on a little lip gloss. Mimicking her mother then, Maia always made sure that after she'd brushed her teeth and washed her face that she did her hair and put on a little pale pink lip gloss. Joan had noticed the change in Maia too. She raised an eyebrow and smiled at Maia the first time she waltzed into the kitchen with her new fake just-woke-up look, but Joan never let on that she'd noticed the change. Now here was Caroline calling Maia out.

"It's okay Mai," Caroline said, "You look beautiful and your mom has been pulling the same trick for decades now. I'm pretty sure that our younger sisters thought that was just what Joan looked like all the time for years before they figured out what she was up to in the bathroom."

Joan rolled her eyes at her sister, and then told her daughter, "Well I think you look lovely, and there's nothing wrong with always trying to put your best face forward."

Maia smiled shyly back at her mother, and then dug her fork into the fluffy pancakes her dad set in front of her.

"I'm going to go get Sarah up and ready to head out," Caroline announced as Joan, Arthur, and Ron sat down around the corner kitchen table to keep Maia company while she ate breakfast.

After wishing Sarah a speedy recovery and a safe trip to the whole family, Joan and Arthur both breathed a sigh of relief. It was fun to spend time with Caroline and Ron, but it was also nice to be back to a family of three, and to know that they didn't have anything they had to do or anyone they had to entertain for the rest of the day. Maia had headed off to the shower after saying goodbye to Sarah, and so Joan and Arthur poured themselves some coffee and they took the multiple papers they got and headed into the living room to do a little reading while lounging on the sofa.

Halfway through an article, Arthur found himself reading the same words over and over, but really not processing what he was reading. Glancing over at Joan, he could see that she was actually engrossed in whatever it was she was reading. Lounging in the chaise part of the sofa, she had her knees pulled up so she could have rested the paper against her legs, but instead she was holding it much closer to her face. She was dressed in dark washed jeans and a black boatneck 3/4 length sleeved shirt. It was fitted and the color of freshly poured concrete. Dressed in Saturday causal clothes, with her blonde hair rippling over her shoulders, Arthur thought to himself about just how lucky he was to have a wife who even looked hot when she was lounging on the sofa in weekend wear. "Hey Joan," he called out to her.

She put her paper down, brushed her hair out of her face, and looked over at him questioningly

"Want to come and play mini golf with me and Maia this afternoon? It's shaping up to be a beautiful afternoon, I thought we could maybe go do a little putt putting and then swing by the store and get something to grill tonight," Arthur asked her.

Joan was touched by Arthur's invitation and the fact that he seemed to have planned out a nice family day they could have together. But she also wanted to be careful to not butt in on a father-daughter event. She knew that both Maia and Arthur relished their time together, and so she asked her husband "Are you sure you and Maia don't just want it to be a you two thing?"

Arthur shook his head, "Nah. After how things have been around here I think that a family day would be good for all of us." Joan smiled when he said it a little shyly. He hadn't made eye contact with her when he'd told her that, and as much as she knew that she was the ice queen she also knew that Arthur wasn't usually so openly focused on on feelings or leading any planning of family events. Joan liked this side of him.

"Okay then, that sounds like fun," was what she decided to actually say in response to Arthur. And so post lunch Joan, Arthur, and Maia all piled into Arthur's car and headed out to the place across town that had miniature golf, arcade games, go karts, and batting cages. There were closer mini golf places, but this one had been a family favorite ever since Maia was little and they'd come with Arthur's brother and his kids. Maia was only about 5 at the time and she spent the whole time petting all the plastic animals that made the place a safari themed mini golf course, talking to them, and yelling at her cousins and the adults when they accidentally hit one of the animals with a golf ball.

When Maia putted her golf ball through the windmill, up the hill, and into the bonus game hole, Joan wasn't sure who was more excited - Maia or Arthur. They cheered and did a little victory dance while Joan pulled out her phone to snap a picture of their antics. After a second round, and while they were returning their golf clubs Arthur spotted the go karts. "Watch this," Arthur whispered to Maia. She did as she was told, and witnessed her dad challenging Joan to a race. At first her mother didn't seem to take the bait. "Come on Joan, you know you want to," Arthur encouraged.

Joan smiled at how much he was acting like a kid trying to goad her into something. Raising her eyebrows at him as she dropped her chin a bit, she finally asked him, "Are you sure you want to lose to me in front of our daughter?" Her eyes sparkled when she said it and before she could change her mind Arthur had paid for the go karts and they were headed toward the go kart track. It was getting toward evening and so the families who'd been there had headed home, leaving the go kart track empty. Maia tagged along after her parents and watched them get into their go karts. "C'mon Mai," Arthur said patting the seat next to him. Once she was belted in and they'd gotten their safety instructions - which Maia noticed neither of her parents paid any attention to - they were off. Arthur shot out of the gate, but Joan caught up with him by the third turn, and then in a daring but controlled move she passed them on the fourth curve. When she did, Joan just laughed and waved her hand back at Arthur and Maia. Maia tried to encourage her dad to catch her mom, but there was just no way that was happening. Her mother had moves - and every time Arthur caught up and went to pass her, she blocked him out. After she won, Joan took her helmet off and shook out her long blonde hair before turning to smile at Arthur and Maia, "Told you you'd lose," she said to him.

"Aw come on, I had some extra weight!" Arthur protested as he gestured toward Maia, who pretended to be offended when he said it.

"Well then how about a rematch then?" Joan offered, "I'll even take Maia - then there's no way you can complain about anything but your own skills holding you back."

"Deal," Arthur told her before saying, "And hey - it's not my skills! My skills are good!"

"Yes - compared to the average person they are, it's just that they've never been as good as mine," Joan quipped as she twisted her hair back into a ponytail and donned her helmet.

Arthur stood there with his mouth open and could only say, "Hey!" in return. It was true though. As good as he was at driving, Joan had always been better. He'd never admit it to her, but it was true. Where he was passionate and always was down for a chase, she was level headed and logical. Her ability to always be a problem solver rather than a reactor meant that she could make chains of decisions in her mind and control her situation and outdo, evade, or catch any other car she wanted to. But with Maia in the go kart with her, Arthur figured he had a good chance to beat his wife - just this once - and if he did he was determined to not let her live it down.

"Better hurry up dad!" Maia called out to her father as she buckled herself into the go kart beside her mother, "Mom's getting impatient!"

"Coming!" Arthur then hollered out as she put his helmet back on and get himself ready to go.

When the go karts took off, Joan floored the gas in her go kart. Arthur did as well, but when she did she had her wheel turned to essentially crash right into Arthur. Maia screamed thinking they were going to crash, but Arthur knew what she was doing. "Shit!" he screamed as he had to hit the brakes and let her whiz off. Shaking his head and smiling in his helmet he knew then that she'd planned this all out. She knew that with the extra weight she needed to pass him right away and then use defensive moves to keep him at bay. Joan also knew that Arthur would floor it out of the gate as well, and so she went for the tactic of forcing him to slow down or else get crashed into. "She is good," Arthur said to himself as he accelerated again figuring he at least needed to give good chase. And he did, but he never passed Joan. When the race was over and Joan had won again, Arthur took off his helmet and shook her hand, "Good race. Underhanded move there at the beginning, but still good strategy," he told his beaming wife.

"Thanks," she told him, "I knew that you wouldn't be expecting it, and that you wouldn't want to crush our daughter." Leaning in to give him a peck on the cheek she whispered in his ear, "I told you I was always the better driver."

Arthur spun her around then so they were both facing Maia. Hugging her from behind he jokingly said - loud enough for Maia to hear - "I didn't want to kill our daughter, but apparently you were willing to risk her life for a go kart race win."

Joan laughed out loud and then firmly told Arthur, "No I wasn't risking her life - I was in total control. I knew she'd be just fine."

"Someone maybe should have told me the plan," Maia teased her mother since it seemed like everyone was in the mood to be teased.

"Sorry sweetheart," Joan told her daughter as she broke away from Arthur and went to fix Maia's helmet hair.

"No it's totally fine Mom," Maia said as she let her mother fix her hair, "That was AWESOME!" Then she added, "Dad you should let mom give you some lessons!"

Arthur chuckled and told his daughter, "Nah, I'll just let her do more driving. But now I know that I should definitely be the one to teach you to drive. I don't want your mother teaching you to be a crazy driver doing dangerous things all over the roads!"

"Maybe I want to learn from mom. It'd be so cool to drive around like that!" Maia told her parents.

"Those moves are for the go kart track, not the roads young lady. When you learn to drive you're going to go the speed limit or less at all times, and you will obey all the traffic laws, and you will not be an aggressive driver" Joan let her daughter know. But as much as she was firm about this she couldn't keep her eyes from sparkling and herself from smiling as she said it, because she was still pretty pleased with just how impressed Maia was with her.

"Sure mom. Whatever you say!" Maia acquiesced, letting her eyes sparkle mischievously, before asking, "Then can you teach me some go kart driving moves?"

"I don't know Mai," Arthur told her, "If you learn from your mom then who am I supposed to be able to beat?" He gave her some puppy dog eyes, to which Maia rolled her eyes.

"Da-ad - you'll be involved in the lesson too, how else am I going to be able to practice cutting people off or holding them off?" she asked him as she gave him some puppy dog eyes of her own right back.

"Why don't you go out with your dad first and let him give you some pointers," Joan offered, "He can teach you the basics, and then I'll take over to help you with a more advanced move or two." As she nonchalantly implied that Maia couldn't learn the advanced moves from Arthur Joan grinned at her husband and daughter.

"Okay," Maia said happily and then the father-daughter duo went out and drove round and round the track. Maia drove slowly at first as she tried to get a feel for what she was doing. Going around the curves scared her at first, and her father yelled over the engine to her, "You scared?" as they were driving. Maia nodded and Arthur assured her there was no way the go kart was going to tip over. That reassurance plus a few more laps had Maia feeling more comfortable, and on the 7th lap she hit the gas so suddenly and didn't let up that Arthur felt his own heart drop. Of course the go kart could only go so fast, but still the idea that his little girl was at the wheel made everything about a thousand times more terrifying than when he was racing Joan. "Slow down Mai!" Arthur hollered.

"No way!" Maia hollered back at him, "If I don't learn to do this at top speed how am I going to be able to beat you?" And at that Arthur just let himself lean back in the seat and try not to die during the ride.

When the go kart finally came to a stop, Maia leapt out and ran over to her mother who'd been snapping pictures of Arthur looking terrified and Maia looking in control of the go kart. "Mom! Come on! Dad can't handle me driving fast, I need you to be the teacher now!" Maia called out to her as she ran towards her.

Joan laughed and then looked back at Arthur. He looked a little green and wobbly, "Hang on Mai, let me go help your dad first. He looks like he's had a rough ride," Joan told Maia as she walked over toward her husband who was leaning on the go kart after having removed his helmet. "Hey there old man," she said to him as she approached.

"I take back ever wanting to be the one to teach Maia to drive," Arthur told his wife.

"She looked great out there though," Joan commented, "What happened to you.?"

"Wait til you're the one in the passenger seat!" he retorted, "You'll want her to slow down then too! All I could do was think about her crashing."

"Arthur!" Joan chided him, "It's a go kart, not a real car! She wasn't going to crash. She looked in control."

Arthur gave his wife a weak smile, "I'm just telling you Joan, it's terrifying to be your child's passenger."

Joan put her arm around him and walked him off the track. "Sit here," she told him, "Mai and I will be back in a few laps. Then you can drive us slowly home." Joan couldn't deliver the last sentence without chuckling a little as she did it, a fact that wasn't lost on Arthur.

"Hey! I'm not a slow driver!" Arthur called out to her, but Joan was already hopping in the go kart with Maia.

Before letting Maia take off, Joan explained to her daughter, "Driving is as much a mental activity as it is a physical one." Her statement got a sigh from her daughter who just wanted to learn a few spectacular moves that should bring out for her friends to impress them all sometime, because even though they'd never actually gone go karting, now that she'd done it Maia wanted to bring her friends next time and race them.

"Hey you want to learn to drive like me, you've got to put up with my teaching methods," Joan playfully scolded her daughter who then agreed to listen. And so Joan continued with her lesson the way she wanted it to go, telling her daughter about things she needed to think about - where she wanted to go, who was following her, what was in front of her, what her options were depending on the movement of other cars on the road. At first Maia just pretended to listen to her mother, but Joan sprinkled in some stories about evading cars or chasing cars herself and that got Maia's attention. Her mother never talked about her work at all and from the sound of it, Maia realized just how crazy some of her mother's life had been. Joan could tell when she caught Maia's attention, and so she kept going and then started to ask Maia questions about what she would do if - as she pointed out different spots on the course and gave her a situation. Maia engaged in this activity, and after a couple of hypothetical scenarios where Joan was basically teaching her about defensive moves, they took off. When Maia hit the gas Joan realized what Arthur was talking about, it was definitely odd feeling to be at the mercy of her daughter's driving. But unlike Arthur, Joan recovered - perhaps because she was good at just putting everything aside and slipping into the role of director. So she directed and called out information to Maia as Maia reacted accordingly. Joan gave her a few pointers before they pulled up alongside where Arthur was sitting and told him he needed to get in his go kart and chase them. After some pretend complaints over his daughter's safety that both Joan and Maia rolled their eyes at, Arthur got back in his go kart and gave the mother-daughter duo chase. Joan told both Arthur and Maia that this wasn't about to be at top speed, and they both agreed to her terms. And so while the pace wasn't crazy, it was a good speed and Maia was able to fend off attempts Arthur made to pass her. When they all finally slowed to a stop, Maia was grinning and flushed from the excitement, and Joan was beaming at her. "I don't think we're going to need to worry about our daughter, Arthur. She's going to be an excellent driver," Joan told her husband as she put her arm around his waist and the couple followed their daughter into the parking lot toward their actual car.

As Joan and Arthur approached their car and waiting daughter, Maia leaned against the car, "Can I drive us home?" she asked her dad.

Joan laughed out loud, but Arthur just clutched his heart and told her, "Definitely not. Fortunately I still have years before I have to say yes to that!"

"Aww dad, come on. I'm a good driver!" Maia teased.

"I think your father still hasn't recovered from the go karting," Joan told Maia, "I'm pretty sure he needs the years til you're 16 to get himself mentally prepared for you driving, let alone actually letting you drive his car."

Maia grinned and told her father, "It's okay dad. Maybe next time," as she slid into the backseat of the car.


	17. Struggles & Spying

**Chapter 17: Struggles & Spying**

To Maia's delight Sarah returned the following Saturday. Her father had taken the train down with her, and then was hopping a flight from there to Boston for a work thing. Sarah was the closest thing Maia had to a sibling, and while she'd never really minded being an only child, having Sarah around for the school year had been a lot of fun. Having a built in friend was nice, and the girls were trying to make the most of their remaining weeks together. And so when Joan wanted the girls to go to bed early that Saturday night, they'd both protested. Joan reasoned that with Sarah just coming back from being sick, they should make sure to get enough rest so they could actually enjoy all that the last weeks of school had to offer. The girls, however, had a different idea and thought that since their normal weekend bedtime was 10:30, that they should be able to stay up until then. Getting ready for bed at 8:30 was definitely for babies, and they were definitely not babies. Both Joan and Maia had dug their heels in when finally Arthur offered a compromise. Maia and Sarah would get ready for bed right then, but then they'd all congregate in Sarah's bedroom to watch a movie together until their official bedtime. Joan shot Arthur a glare because she felt like he was undermining her as a parent, but Maia and Sarah thought the idea was terrific. They ran off to get ready for bed right then and to choose a movie, while Arthur called after them, "And it better be a movie that will end by 10:30 at the latest!" Then he turned to face his wife who was just a little annoyed at him.

"Arthur really?" Joan asked him as she stood there, hands on her hips, hoping that he had figured out why she was irritated at him.

"I know Joan," he told her because he did know, "it looks like I'm undermining you, but come on - 8:30 - that's really early. If you'd said 9 or 9:30 I'd have backed you, but 8:30 is right now - it's barely dark out."

She sighed then, and while she didn't admit that she was guilty of not consulting him and just unilaterally deciding that bedtime was now, she decided to let him off the hook. Plus it was a pretty adorable offer he'd made to the girls. They'd had a good day together as a family, why ruin it now she figured. "Okay fine," Joan told her husband, and then more softly added, "It's a sweet idea."

"I thought so," Arthur said lightly as he grinned at her, "I can be a pretty cool dad sometimes."

"Yes you can," Joan agreed as she smiled back at him.

And so the four of them had piled onto Maia's bed to watch Pitch Perfect together. It wasn't exactly Arthur's kind of movie, but even he had to admit that it was pretty hilarious in parts.

* * *

On a warm summer Saturday, the school held commencement for the 6th grade class. The girls were all dressed in white, and the boys in white shirts and khaki pants. With all the school festivities and graduation parties Maia, Sarah, and their friends had been having Arthur had commented to Joan, "Is it just me or is it just a little nuts how much we're celebrating graduating from the 6th grade?" Joan was equally incredulous about the level of celebration that seemed to accompany finishing elementary school. But she figured that they might as well celebrate too, and so she'd planned a sophisticated evening affair for Maia and Sarah the weekend before their graduation. Watching their daughter and niece file in to pomp and circumstance, both Arthur and Joan had to admit that the 6th grade graduation was a nice event. Leaning over during the ceremony Arthur whispered to Joan, "You know in 10 years we'll be doing this again for Maia's college graduation." Joan didn't turn her head toward her husband, but Arthur could see from the ways her eyes crinkled that she'd smiled. As Arthur let his mind wander from what was happening in the ceremony, he thought about how 10 years seemed like a long time, but at the same time it seemed crazy to him that in the space of a decade Maia would learn to drive, go off to college and finish college, and be moved out of their house. "It's crazy how fast she's growing up isn't it?" he then whispered to Joan. This time she turned to him and smiled, "Someone's getting sentimental huh?" she said to him gently as she took his hand and squeezed it. Inside Joan was actually equally as sentimental. She couldn't believe how quickly the years had passed, and she still marveled at how much Maia had changed her. She'd been fiercely protective of Maia since she was born, and she'd loved her in a way that she really didn't think she was capable of. She was the ice queen at work, and while she wasn't as affectionate or silly with Maia as Arthur was, she loved her so much that sometimes it physically hurt her. Recently that had definitely been the case. Ever since the whole Seth situation blew up in their household, she'd felt like Maia had been a little distant. Joan hadn't meant to avoid talking with Maia about it, but she just didn't know how to bring it up or what she'd say if they actually talked about who Seth was to her. And so time had just passed. Maia actually was the one to broach the subject first, but Joan's own privacy about her addiction issues took over and she shut down the conversation before it even started. She watched as Maia looked hurt by the way she'd shut down the conversation, but she just couldn't bring herself to talk about this all with her daughter. Not yet anyways.

Following graduation, Sarah stayed in DC for an additional week. And the next weekend Maia went back to Manhattan with Sarah and Caroline to spend two weeks there before returning to DC for the rest of the summer. At first Joan had thought it was too much for Caroline to take Maia for that long. Joan worried about the girls exhausting Caroline who was cancer free, but only recently. Caroline assured Joan that it would be fine and that the girls really needed very little in the way of serious supervision - mostly they just needed someone home to make sure they didn't do anything too crazy, and to make sure they were doing things like eating and sleeping when they were supposed to. And so the three of them packed up Sarah's stuff and a suitcase for Maia and they headed up to New York, with the plan that Joan and Arthur would meet up with them on July 4 for a family barbecue at Caroline and Ron's beach house.

* * *

Maia called her parents dutifully every night the first few days, but then her mother had a case come in that required her to be at work for some pretty long hours, and her father got embroiled in a political situation, and so he was pretty unavailable. Maia didn't mind much. She was keeping more than busy with Sarah, and they were both having a great time exploiting all the little freedoms they were given - to go by themselves to have lunch at the little cafe at the end of the block, and to go to the Met alone provided they text when they got there and when they were leaving and on their way back home (a walk of all of three blocks). And so Maia took to just sending her parents quick, informal text messages to say goodnight or good morning. Actually just texting her parents was fine with Maia. She and her mother had never really had a conversation about Seth, and although her dad had tried to help her understand the situation and be okay with it, Maia wasn't convinced that everything was quite as okay as her dad let on. More than that, she was still a little frustrated that her mother hadn't ever really talked about it with her. She'd tried once to bring it up to her mother, but when Maia had casually asked her mother about who Seth was, she'd been rebuffed. Joan waved off the question first by telling Maia that he was a work colleague, and then when pressed on whether he had been a boyfriend, Joan had told Maia yes, but it was long ago and now they just worked together. Then Joan had remembered she had something to do for work and quickly had left the room, leaving Maia more suspicious about what was going on. She'd continued to just act like everything was okay through the remainder of the school year, and it wasn't too hard because everything had been so busy with graduation and then prepping for going away for the first few weeks of summer. But now that she had more time, Maia had been perseverating on her parents and Seth, and she wasn't really that interested in talking to her mother about much.

When Joan and Arthur both finally came up for air it was a full week later, and Joan figured things would go back to normal; she expected to have regular phone calls from Maia, but whenever she tried her daughter she seemed distracted. At first she'd figured it was good that Maia was having such a good time, but she was a little - not quite hurt - but definitely surprised by the situation. Usually it was Maia seeking attention from her, but the tables seemed to have turned. In bed one night then, Joan turned to Arthur, "Have you talked to Mai lately?"

"Yeah, she called earlier today," he told her with his back to Joan as he dug around the dresser drawers for some pajamas.

"But did you talk to her, or did she just listen to you and basically just try to get off the phone?" Joan inquired.

"It seemed normal. She told me what she was doing with Sarah, and asked a few questions about how we were doing, and that was it," Arthur explained as he changed into his pajamas so he could join Joan in bed.

"Hmph," Joan said then as she crossed her arms across her chest and tried to think about what was going on with her daughter,

"What are you getting at Joan?" Arthur asked his wife as he pulled a t-shirt over his head. Without even being able to see his wife, he knew that she was brooding.

"I don't know. Maybe it's nothing, but I haven't been able to get Maia to really talk to me at all since she's going to New York," she told her husband.

"I'm sure she's just busy," Arthur said, "it sounds like she and Sarah are just enjoying being able to go around Manhattan alone."

"What? Are you sure that's safe?" Joan asked before pausing, narrowing her eyes and then asking, "And how do you know that?"

"Maia told me about it. She was very excited about being able to go to lunch with Sarah - without any grown ups," Arthur told Joan as he chuckled to himself as he thought about just how happy this simple thing had made Maia.

"See!" Joan exclaimed, "She's never told me anything about it. When I ask her what she's doing she tells me she's hanging out with Sarah, and then she just tries to get off the phone. Something is going on."

"Maybe," Arthur said knowing that if he didn't give his wife something she'd never let it go, "But Joan she's almost 12, she's supposed to be having issues with us right? She's supposed to be evasive and difficult. That's normal."

"It would be normal if she was doing it to both of us. But she's focused it all on me," Joan huffed.

"Maybe you should just call her on it," Arthur suggested as he tried to figure out what had his wife more upset - the fact that Maia was giving her the cold shoulder, or the fact that Maia wasn't giving him the cold shoulder.

Joan rolled her eyes, "And what would that accomplish? She'd just talk to me less." Joan sighed then and made eye contact with Arthur before softly telling him, "It just bothers me that I don't even know why she's changed."

Arthur didn't know quite what to say to his wife, so he didn't. Instead he climbed into bed and just pulled her toward him. Kissing her, he gently said, "She'll come around. It's probably just phase. Plus we get her back soon, and we'll straighten everything out."

Joan hoped that Arthur was right, but the logical side of her knew that probably wasn't the case. Something was up, and she just needed to figure out what it was.

* * *

The next morning while Maia waited for Sarah to finish getting ready to go to lunch, Maia called her father. They'd always been close and as much as she was enjoying her time in New York with Sarah, she missed her dad. Growing up her dad had always been the "fun" parent, but that had never meant that her dad was only about fun. Arthur was aware of when Maia seemed a little down or when she'd had a stand off with her mother. In these situations he wasn't one to get serious in response to her mood. Instead he'd just try to cheer up and give her the space to talk if she wanted to. When she was little, he'd tickle attack her to get her to laugh, or to bring out a bowl of ice cream and her favorite game - Candy Land - to get her mind off of whatever was going on. As she'd gotten older Arthur had to change tactics, and so he'd still bring them ice cream to share when she seemed sad or frustrated, but instead of Candy Land, he'd just sit with her and share the ice cream. Or he'd offer to take her out to play some tennis. Trafficking in the emotions of his pre-teen daughter was hard on Arthur, but he wanted her to continue to feel close to him and he wanted to do what he could to help her out when she was down. And so doing things together seemed to fit the bill; they could be together and he could try to be a distraction, and then if Maia wanted to talk she could it without having it be some sort of deep heart-to-heart. Having a talk while doing something else often allowed the father-daughter pair to connect with each other in ways that would have otherwise just felt awkward to one or the other of them - or just out of place in their usually carefree, joking relationship.

Now that Maia was in New York, however, that kind of connection with her dad was more or less impossible. She'd toyed with the idea of just bringing up how she was feeling about her mom with her dad, but it seemed wrong. She knew it would throw her dad off if she just said that over the phone, and not being able to see his face meant that she wouldn't know what he was really thinking when he responded however he responded to her. So she'd decided to just keep things normal with her dad, and maybe try to talk to talk to him while playing a game of tennis when she was back home. For his part, Arthur was equally worried about how to connect with his daughter. Joan had definitely seemed upset by how Maia had cut her out of the communications, and Arthur knew that it was completely abnormal for Maia to be like that with her mother. Maia and Joan had never been close in the way that he and Maia were, but it wasn't as though they weren't close. They were, and Arthur knew that when Maia had problems it was actually always Joan she'd go to first if she needed or wanted advice. Joan was always more serious with Maia than he was, but Arthur knew that it was Joan's seriousness that Maia sometimes needed so that she could figure out a problem. He also knew that Maia was more cautious around Joan. He didn't think she was actually afraid of her mother, but he did think she was careful to always try to live up to the ideal good daughter that Joan wanted her to be. But now this evasion of Joan was weird and out of character. If they'd all be in DC, he would have just popped into Maia's room with a bowl of ice cream and just sat with her until she finally came clean. But with them both in different cities that wasn't going to work.

When his phone rang at work and he saw it was Maia, Arthur answered it cheerily.

"Hey dad, did you see the Nationals last night?" Maia asked into the phone knowing that even if her dad hadn't gotten to see the game, he'd be pretty excited about the fact that they shut out the Pirates.

"Yeah - impressive pitching huh?" he told his daughter as he smiled. He knew that Maia was a little bored by baseball, but he loved that she knew he loved it and so she tried to like it too.

"Yeah - and batting - they had SO many runs last night," she said glad to be just chatting with her dad like they were sitting at breakfast together or something.

"Yeah," Arthur said, not sure of where to go with the conversation next.

After a pause on both ends of the phone he tried to be casual about asking his daughter, "Hey so how are you doing? You ready to come back home yet?"

Maia sighed a little louder than she intended to. She didn't want to really let on how she was feeling about going home. Part of her was looking forward to being back home and being able to hang out with her dad, but the other part of her was anxious about how to approach her mother. She felt like she needed to clear the air with her, but that meant that Maia needed to really pointedly tell her mother how she felt about the fact that they couldn't even talk about the Seth situation.

"Mai," Arthur said, calling her out, "What's going on with you and your mom?" There. He'd said it. Running his fingers through his own hair, Arthur silently wondered whether just calling her out was the right move to make at all - and especially via phone.

At first all he got was silence on the line. Then he heard his daughter quietly say, "I don't know."

"Well, she's upset that you're not talking to her - or that you're talking to me more than you're talking to her," Arthur told his daughter before adding, "You know your mom loves you Maia, and it's eating her up that you're avoiding talking to her."

Maia sighed again and rolled her eyes. Even hundreds of miles away, she could feel her mother's disapproval of how she'd been acting toward her. "Da-ad - I talk to her. We just haven't been having deep conversations or anything. I'm busy."

"Well you're not too busy to tell me details I know you're not sharing with your mother," he said gently as he glanced over a note that Midge had come in and put on his desk.

"Well can't you just share that stuff with her?" Maia tried - with a little bit of a whine in her voice.

"I can, but you know how well that'll go over," Arthur said, and Maia knew what he meant. It was never good for Joan Campbell to learn something through another party. She didn't like it at all.

"I know," Maia replied then. She thought for a minute about what else she wanted to add before she told her dad, "I think I'm just still frustrated with her. She's evasive with me too."

"That's her nature Mai, you know that," Arthur said into the phone as he sighed too. This conversation wasn't going the way he'd hoped it would.

"I know, but it doesn't mean I like it," Maia pouted into the phone.

"You don't have to like it sweetheart, just keep it in mind okay? And remember that even when she's aloof or critical, your mom loves you to death. And it really is hurting her that you're not talking with her. You don't have to tell me why not, just keep it in mind okay?" He tried to say encouragingly. Arthur did actually want to know why there was such a change in Maia's attitude toward Joan, but he didn't want to push it - in part because he was at work and in part because he knew his daughter well enough to know that pushing her to talk wasn't usually successful tactic. She had too much Joan in her, and she'd either dig in her heels and refuse to talk just to be spiteful, or she'd refuse to talk because she wasn't yet sure what she thought or felt and she needed time to work that out. Whatever the reason - the result of pushing was going to be silence. So Arthur left it at that.

"Okay dad," Maia agreed - a little begrudgingly. "You're not mad at me are you?" she then ventured to ask.

"Nope," he told her quickly, "I just wanted you to know that your mom loves you and wants you to talk to her more. I'm just happy you haven't gone all psycho teenager on us yet and stopped talking to both of us!" He laughed a little into the phone, and Maia smiled on the other end.

"Stop it dad," she said jokingly into the receiver, "You know I won't be able to be all psycho teenager with you guys - one or the other of you will probably kill me."

"Well as long as we're on the same page then," he jested.

"Oh hey dad, Sarah's ready. I gotta go," Maia said into the phone then as Sarah appeared in her doorway.

"Okay - have a good day. Love you," Arthur told her, glad she sounded like she was happy.

"Will do. You too. Love you!" Maia quickly rattled off into the phone before hanging up and heading out of the apartment with Sarah.

Well I tried, Arthur thought to himself as he hung up the phone. Something was going on in Maia's head for sure, but he figured she'd work it out in time, and there wasn't much he or Joan could really do until they were all back under the same roof again.

* * *

She wasn't proud of it, but upon her return to DC Maia had taken up eavesdropping on her parents. Maia had decided that her parents - especially her mother - wasn't going to come clean on her own about Seth. She'd tried again to talk to her mother about Seth but again she'd been rebuffed, and told to please just drop that subject. Investigative work seemed like the only option to Maia, and so she'd sneak down the hall after her parents had gone to bed to listen to what they were talking about. For the most part this activity wasn't very productive. She could hear them, but the topics they discussed didn't seem to ever be about Seth. But like most other spy work, persistence is key, and so about three weeks into this activity, Maia got the morsel of information she needed to start formulating a plan of action. On that night she'd overheard her mother explaining to her father that she couldn't do lunch with him on Thursday because she'd made other lunch plans.

"But we always do Thursday lunch," Arthur had protested.

"I know, and I'm sorry, but I have to do this other thing then," Joan had explained - without really explaining anything.

"What other thing? There wasn't anything on your calendar when I checked earlier," Arthur told his wife - who gave him an evil look in response.

"You checked my calendar?" Joan asked her husband in a way that let even Maia know that the tension in the room was rising.

"Yeah - I _am_ your boss, I can do things like that," Arthur responded before he realized that was definitely the wrong answer. When he saw the way that Joan looked back at him he knew that he was definitely in trouble. Back pedaling he tried to patch things up by saying, "I just was checking to confirm that we were on for lunch. Please don't make this into a thing."

"Me? It wouldn't be a thing if you weren't spying on me," Joan retorted.

"Joan please - I was just trying to make sure we were on for lunch," Arthur tried again.

"Well how about just asking me," she said as she glared at him, "I _am_ your wife - we work AND live together - it's not like having the opportunity to ask a simple question is something hard to come by."

"Joan come on, don't get mad," Arthur pled - trying to get his wife to calm down.

But an angry Joan wasn't one to calm down in any kind of timely manner. "I'm not _getting_ mad. I _am_ mad Arthur," she let him know as she rolled her eyes and tossed in the bed so that she was facing away from him completely.

"Joan! Seriously? What do you have that you can't just cancel or move? I know that if it was something top secret or really that important that I'd have known about it," Arthur said with the exasperation obvious in his voice.

"Take a guess Arthur," she said icily in return, "What kind of meeting might I not put on my official CIA calendar?"

"I don't know Joan - that's why I'm asking!" Arthur exclaimed - irritated at his wife and she always just expected him to know what she was thinking.

At the same time, Joan was equally as irritated right back at Arthur, but she was irritated that he still couldn't figure out that when she met with Seth (a) she needed to, and (b) she never put it on her calendar. "I'm having lunch with Seth at Le Pain Quotidien on Massachusetts - on my way back from a meeting on the Hill. Why don't you stake out the place just to make sure I'm really there," Joan said to him in a way that communicated just how irritated she was at her husband.

On the other side of the door, Maia stopped herself from breathing in sharply.

Back in the bedroom Arthur sighed, "Joan - I'm sorry." She didn't respond or move to turn toward him at all, and so Arthur tried again, "What's going on Joan? I'm your husband, you can talk to me too - not just Seth." He'd said the last sentence carefully - wanting to make sure to validate that Joan might still want or need to talk to Seth, but hoping that she could also talk to him about what was going.

"I know I can, but when we talk it tends to go like this. There are just some things I need to talk about with Seth - first," Joan said firmly - still facing away from her husband. Inside she knew that Arthur really did mean it when he'd apologized, he just had a hard time keeping her past addiction problem in mind. In some ways she figured it was a good thing; Arthur never looked at her or thought of her as damaged. But when he didn't remember about that part of her past, it also meant that he didn't consider that when he freaked out over little important things like her meetings with Seth to make sure she could stay clean.

"Okay. Well I'm here if you need me," Arthur told her softly as he reached out to squeeze her shoulder. She didn't flinch away, but she didn't make any movement at all. Sighing then, Arthur rolled onto his back and flipped off the light. "Good night Joan," he said quietly into the darkness.

Tiptoeing back down the hall before slumping against the back of her door after she'd safely gotten back into her room, Maia sighed deeply to herself. What is going on, she wondered. Seth's role in her parents' relationship was clearly complicated. Armed with the information about when and where Seth and her mom were meeting, Maia set about putting a plan into action to be able to see what was going on for herself. She had two days to figure it all out. Maybe then she'd have enough information that she could confront her mother and really get her to talk.

* * *

_Thanks for all the kind reviews. This has been a really fun story to write. Sorry for the delay in the updates; I was out of town and the internet connection was way too slow to do much in the way of updating. I'm going to finish up this story before the S4 premiere tonight. I think there's maybe a chapter or two left to close out this part of the Joan, Arthur, & Maia story. Cheers! _


	18. Seth & A Standoff

**Chapter 18: Seth & A Standoff**

By Thursday morning Maia had a plan and as everyone bustled around the kitchen at breakfast time, Joan could sense that something was up with Maia. "Everything okay Mai?" she asked her daughter as Maia stuck her head in the fridge looking for the orange juice.

Glad to not be making eye contact with her mother, Maia nodded her head as she also told her mother, "Mmmhmm."

Unconvinced, Joan pressed Maia for more information. "Maia, I can tell you're anxious about something. What's going on with you?" Joan asked her daughter, with clear concern in her voice.

Maia closed the door of the refrigerator and walked back over to where she'd set her glass on the counter. "Mom I'm not anxious about anything," she'd said with a little irritation in her voice. She didn't know why she was getting irritated, but Maia just didn't really want to be talking about what she was doing that day. She'd never been good at lying to her parents; they could always tell when she was telling anything remotely close to a lie, and she'd learned early on it was usually just better to tell the truth. But with everything that had been going on in the silences between herself and her mother, Maia had become more comfortable with half truths or just avoiding talking to her mother.

"Well I think you are," Joan said matter of factly, and then more gently added, "You know you can talk to me about anything right?" Arthur pulled the paper down enough to be able to see over the top edge. He watched his daughter and his wife closely. Something was definitely wrong there, but neither he nor Joan had yet figured out what it was, despite having Maia back in the house for the past three weeks.

"Sure mom," Maia said coolly as she took a gulp of orange juice before hopping up and telling her parents, "Have a good day at work," as she exited the kitchen.

"She's anxious about something," Joan commented aloud.

"I don't know. You think it's anxiety, or just teenager drama?" Arthur asked.

"Well she's not a teenager yet, and she just seemed touchy this morning," Joan mused.

"Well she's been touchy since she's been back from New York. Maybe we should send her back up there; she seemed happier there," Arthur suggested out loud, knowing as he said it that it was not going to be a solution in Joan's eyes.

He called it right because Joan's response was to tell him, "She was happier with _you_ when she was there, but something's been up for much longer than just these past three weeks. She's just avoiding talking to me about any of it. I don't know what's going on." Sighing she looked at the microwave clock, and the digital display told her that she had all of 10 minutes to get out the door if she was going to have a chance to review her notes before her morning meetings got underway. Rinsing her coffee cup out and putting it in the dishwasher she told her husband, "I have to go. We'll have to strategize about what to do about Miss Maia this evening, but we have to do something. I can't have her like this all summer."

Arthur nodded and sighed too; he didn't want to set a family explosion into motion, but he knew that Joan wasn't going to let Maia's behavior go, and that Maia was unlikely to take kindly to being called out for her coldness to her mother. Work seemed like a great escape to him at this point.

* * *

Maia was supposed to be at tennis for the better part of the day. Earlier in the spring she'd asked her parents if she could go to a tennis clinic that USTA was putting on in late July, and they'd agreed to it. They'd paid for her to be there from 10-4 for two weeks, and they'd arranged for her babysitter to drop her off and pick her up each day. Kelly, the Campbell's summer babysitter had dropped Maia off at the clinic just before 10AM that morning. Maia might have gotten away with her plans had she not ever gone into the tennis courts that morning. But she knew that she had until about noon before her mother was going to meet up with Seth, and online she'd figured that meant she needed to leave tennis for the metro by about 11:40. Until then she'd figured she'd actually go to tennis. She was enjoying the clinic and learning a lot that was helping her improve her game.

At 11:30 Maia excused herself to go to the bathroom, but instead of going to the bathroom, she stashed her stuff in her locker, quickly washed her face and changed out of her tennis skirt and shirt into a sleeveless halter top emerald green dress with little white diamonds on it. Slipping her feet into a pair of silver flip fops she grabbed her purse and put her iphone and wallet in it. She also stuffed in a book that she'd brought with her so that she could hide behind it while she spied on her mother. Checking to make sure no one was looking, she snuck out of the locker room, walked through the lobby with purpose and hit the street. She took the metro to the Tenleytown station and hailed a taxi the way she'd seen people do it in movies. The driver looked at her a little suspiciously and asked her what she was doing traveling all by herself. "I'm going to met my mom for lunch at Le Pain Quotidien on Massachusetts," she told the driver. She said it with such firmness that the driver just shook his head and told her, "Yes Ma'am." Smiling to herself, Maia leaned back against the seat and watched the city zip by her as they traveled across town toward her destination. After paying the driver, Maia had gone into the restaurant and ordered herself a lemonade and a bagel. She spotted her mother across the way, or rather she spotted the back of her mother. Sitting across from her mother was a man who looked like an older version of the Seth she'd seen in the photo in her aunt's photo album.

Surveying the situation Maia spotted a table near where her mother and Seth were sitting. Plunking herself down there she watched as Seth reached out and squeezed her mother's hand. Her mother didn't pull away at this, but instead said something that made this Seth guy smile and shake his head. The two of them stayed like that for awhile - just talking as Seth held her mother's hand on top of the table. Then something else happened, and Maia watched as Seth reached out and brushed the hair out of her mother's face. This was really all Maia needed to see to feel like she had enough evidence to bring to her mother to demand more information on what she was doing with Seth, but she couldn't turn away from the situation in front of her. Even though her mind told her she needed to go before she was spotted, Maia felt glued to her seat watching in frustrated confusion as her mother and Seth chatted and as he touched her mother in gentle ways that Maia thought only her father should. All this sweetness was only interrupted when Joan's phone rang. She looked down at it to see who was calling, determined not to answer it, but when she saw it was the tennis academy where Maia was at her two-week clinic she pulled her hand away from Seth and told him, "It's Maia's tennis school, hang on." Answering the phone, Seth watched Joan's eyes widen as she listened to whatever was being said to her on the other said.

"What do you mean she's missing?" Joan said into the receiver loud enough for Maia to hear, "Yes, I'll be right over," she then told whoever had called.

With her heart pounding in panic, Maia was frozen in fear. Should she get up and dash out - head back to the tennis academy? Or should she just let her mother go look for her? Unable to move, she picked up the book and tried to hide behind it while she caught her breath. She needed a few minutes to figure out what to do next. She hadn't planned for something like this to happen, and as much as she wanted to call her mother out on what was going on with Seth, Maia really didn't want to do it right here - especially after she knew her mother was probably in a full blown panic herself thinking that her daughter was missing.

"What's going on?" Seth asked a momentarily frozen Joan.

"It's Maia - she's missing from her tennis stuff. They said she went to the bathroom and never came back," Joan said, the urgency in her voice making it rise.

"I'm coming with you. I'll call Arthur," Seth told her as he reached for his phone. Joan just nodded. She wasn't normally the kind of person to just freeze, but right now that's how she felt - stuck in place, like everything around her was moving so fast that it would be impossible for her to catch up with it.

"I'm with Joan," Seth said into the phone when Arthur answered it, "Yes - everything is fine - well it's all fine with Joan, but Maia's tennis school called and they can't find her. She was there this morning, but she went to the bathroom and never came back." Looking down at his watch Seth then said, "I don't know I think about 40-45 minutes ago," trying to give Arthur a sense of long it'd been since anyone had last seen Maia.

There was silence on Seth's end for a moment and Maia watched in horror as Seth looked in her direction and she saw his eyebrows furrow. It's like he'd recognized her. But how, she thought, they'd never met so that was impossible. Quickly looking away from him and down at the book in front of him, she felt her heart rate quicken. Her heart was beating so fast that she thought she could actually hear it. Maia was so distracted by her rapid heart rate that she didn't see her mother get up from her table and come toward her. It wasn't until the chair across from her was pulled out and her mother sat down it that Maia realized what had just happened.

"Maia?" Joan said in a voice that was quiet but in a terrifyingly icy way.

Maia looked up from her book very very slowly. "Hi mom," she tried as she glanced up at her mother, who turned her head to address Seth, who was standing behind her.

"I'll take it from here," she told him, "Can you call Arthur back and tell him that I'm taking our daughter home and will be back at work soon?" He nodded, squeezed her shoulder in a way that made Maia's stomach turn more than it was already turning, and then dashed out to grab a cab back to Langley.

"You," Joan addressed her daughter angrily, "have a tremendous amount of explaining to do.

Maia looked away from her mother. She was pretty sure she'd never seen her mother this angry before.

"Let's go young lady," Joan said brusquely as she got up, straightened her own dress and took her daughter by the arm and led her out of the building. At first Joan and Maia said nothing to each other, Joan was relieved that Maia wasn't actually missing, but she was furious that she'd pulled this sort of stunt. For her part, Maia was furious at herself for getting caught, and rather terrified of just how angry her mother seemed to be. Steeling herself to just take whatever her mother had to say to her, Maia decided silence was the best plan for herself.

After about a block, Joan - who still had a hold on her daughter's arm - yanked her daughter in front of her. Shocked at the quick movement her whole self had just taken, Maia looked up at her mother with fear and confusion in her eyes. Ignoring all she saw in her daughter's eyes, Joan just lit into her, "What on earth were you thinking Maia? What's gotten into you?"

Unable to formulate an answer, Maia stuttered at first before she could even make words. "I don't know. I just," she started, and then gaining a small bit of composure she stomped her foot just a little and with eyes that flashed with anger she told her mother, "I can't talk to you about this!"

In response Joan's eyes flew wider than Maia had ever seen them, but then she narrowed them and in a voice that was more like a growl than an actual talking voice, Joan told her daughter, "Young lady, you better reconsider what you just said. You WILL be talking about this to both your father and me." Then spinning Maia back to her side, she nearly dragged her the remaining 200 feet to the car. Opening the back door and telling her daughter to "Get in," Joan watched her daughter hesitate. "Do not even think about running," she warned her in a scarily low voice.

With a huff then Maia got into the car before her mother slammed the door and got into the driver's seat. Putting on the child locks to ensure that Maia didn't attempt any sort of escape, Joan looked in the rearview mirror at her daughter who was obviously stewing. With her arms crossed Joan saw an anger in Maia that she'd never seen before. She wasn't just being difficult, she was clearly furious about something. If Joan had been less furious herself she might have tried to talk to Maia, but she could barely see straight she was so angry at Maia for running off from tennis and then showing up - presumably spying on her - way across town that all Joan knew she had two options, screaming at her daughter or silence. She chose silence because she really didn't want to say things she'd regret later. The drive out of DC and back to their home in Virginia was one they took in a palpably tense silence. Once they arrived at home, Joan got out and opened the child locked back door for Maia who seemed to refuse to get out. Reaching into the car, Joan took her daughter's arm and "encouraged" her to get out of the car with a little tug on her arm.

"Go sit on the sofa," Joan told her in a voice that let Maia know that if she didn't comply all hell was definitely going to break loose. Joan wanted to send Maia to her room so she could talk to Arthur in private, but she didn't want to loose sight of her daughter for even a moment. She'd never acted the way she had lately, and she'd never run away before. But today she'd run away, and then seemed to consider running again when they'd gotten to the car. Today Joan was going to get to the bottom of whatever it was that was going on in Maia's head. But first she was planning to let her know just how unacceptable her behavior today was.

Maia threw herself onto the sofa dramatically and then crossed her arms and huffed a little. She stayed in that position while her mother called Kelly to see when she could come over to take over watching her until her parents could get home from work. Then she listened as her mother talked to her father. While she'd been able to just be mad at her mother while she was talking to Kelly, listening to her mother talk to her father, Maia couldn't keep up her anger. She was still mad at her mother for whatever it was that she was doing with Seth, but she knew that she'd probably terrified her father when he'd gotten the call that she was missing, and Maia started to feel a little guilty for what she'd done. She also started to see just how much trouble she was probably about to be in.

When her mother got off the phone and came into the living room to confront her daughter, Maia didn't even look up. She'd heard her mother's heels clicking along the floor as she'd come out of the kitchen, and she could feel her presence in the room, but Maia couldn't bring herself to look at her mother. This time it wasn't out of defiance, this time it was pure fear. She'd had enough time to realize just how angry she'd made her mother.

"Kelly will be here in an hour," Joan said flatly, "You have until then to decide to tell me what is going on with you."

Maia said nothing in response, and so Joan tried a different approach. "Young lady, you better start talking?"

"Or what?" Maia asked sarcastically. She couldn't quite believe she'd challenged her mother like that out loud. Maia felt her heart racing again, but she also felt her own anger at her mother coming back. Good she thought to herself, at least if I get grounded for the rest of my life I'll know what's going on with my mother and Seth.

"Excuse me?" Joan asked her daughter icily.

"Or what?" Maia said again - this time just as flatly as her mother had told her that her babysitter was coming.

Joan leaned back and crossed her arms. "Maia Anne Campbell, you are being completely disrespectful and rude. I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but you better cut the crap. Until you do, you can just sit right here." And with that, Joan turned on her heel and stalked down back into the kitchen. She didn't want to go too far, because she was afraid that Maia just might take off again. But she needed to get out of the room before she actually throttled her daughter. Pacing in the kitchen, Joan tried to calm herself down.

Back in the living room Maia leaned herself back against the arm of the sofa so she could face the windows. She kept her arms crossed and decided to just wait her mother out. She'd have to go back to work in an hour, and then they wouldn't have to talk about anything. Maia needed more time to figure out a plan, and she figured her mother was so mad it might not be possible to make her more angry. So she might as well just stay quiet until later that night.

As mad as she was, Joan was just as glad that Maia had decided to be difficult and refuse to talk. An hour probably wasn't enough time to hash out what was going on anyways, and she was so angry that she could use the afternoon to get herself under control before really confronting Maia. And so when Kelly showed up, Joan pointed toward Maia and told Kelly that Maia wasn't to leave that spot other than to go to the bathroom. Nodding and taking in the situation, Kelly wished Joan a good afternoon and promised to call if anything at home changed.

Once Joan had pulled out of the driveway, Kelly went and sat on the sofa beside Maia. "Hey Mai - want to talk about what's going on?" she asked her angry little charge.

Maia shook her head. She didn't really want to take anything out on Kelly, and part of her did want to tell Kelly - to tell someone how she was feeling - but she wasn't ready to talk. "Okay then," Kelly said to her, "I'm just going to sit here and watch some TV. Your mom says you have to stay right here, so I guess we'll watch TV together." Searching for some sort of response, Kelly got one when Maia nodded her head, and so Kelly switched on the TV and flipped through the channels until she found a Law & Order SVU marathon on USA.

Two episodes in, Maia finally broke. "In case I'm grounded for the rest of my life, can you go get my tennis stuff back from my locker?" she asked Kelly.

Turning to look at Maia, Kelly smiled and told her, "Sure - but only if you tell me what you did to make your mother so mad." Maia rolled her eyes, but Kelly also saw her body visibly relax and so she knew that Maia was going to let her in. The two had been close since Kelly started babysitting when Maia was a little girl, and honestly they spent more time together in the summers than Maia spent with either of her parents. Plus Kelly seemed to get Maia and her parents, and she'd been able to balance being an authority to Maia with being approachable and openly aware of how it might sometimes be hard to be her parents' daughter.

"I kind of cut out of tennis this morning and took the metro over to where my mom was having lunch with someone she says is a colleague," Maia told Kelly. She paused there to gauge Kelly's reaction. When Kelly just raised her eyebrows, Maia continued, "And maybe the tennis people called my mom to say I was missing, and then maybe my mom called my dad, and then my mom saw me spying on her." She took a deep breath then, it felt good to get it off her chest, to say out loud what had happened.

"Seriously?!" Kelly exclaimed as she gave Maia a look that said, "Wow."

"Seriously," Maia admitted a little glumly.

"Man Maia, you're lucky all your mom did was make you sit here," Kelly commented, "My parents would have killed me if I'd done that."

"They'll get that opportunity tonight," Maia said as she sighed.

"Nah. If they haven't killed you yet, they won't do it," Kelly told Maia, "Parents usually get less mad over time, not more mad." She gave Maia a smile then, and Maia smiled back at her weakly.

"I hope that's the case," Maia said.

"So - why'd you do it?" Kelly asked. She was curious to know what had motivated Maia to do what she'd done. It seemed so out of character. Maia usually was people pleaser.

"I'm not sure, I think I thought it'd be fun to spy on my parents," Maia lied. She still wasn't ready to admit to anyone why she'd done it, or what she was afraid of with her parents and Seth.

"Okay - well you better figure out a better answer than that between now and when your mom gets home. I'm pretty sure "I don't know" won't fly with her," Kelly said as she flashed a grin at Maia.

"I know," Maia said as she sighed again. She knew she'd have to say something better to her mother, but she still needed to figure out what it would be.

Once Arthur got word that Joan was back in her office, he dashed down the stairs to see her. Knocking on the door as he opened it, he found her staring blankly out at the DPD. "Joan," he called out to her.

She turned her chair slowly so that she was facing her husband who was quickly crossing the space between her office door and her desk. "Are you okay? Is Maia okay?" Arthur asked her, the concern clearly written on his face.

"I'm going to be okay, and Maia is okay for now - at least until I get to her later this evening," Joan replied.

"What happened?" Arthur asked her very sincerely.

Joan shook her head and wrung her hands as she told him that she really didn't know, but she suspected that Maia was spying on her and Seth. "I just don't know why, or how she even knew where to find us," Joan shared with Arthur. "I don't know what's going on with her, but I think it's more than just some teenage drama. I think what she did today was premeditated. And even when I was harsher with her than I've ever been it's like she was just so mad she wasn't even afraid."

Arthur chuckled a little bit at this comment, "Joan I think that's impossible. Everyone is afraid of you when you get mad - at least a little bit afraid."

"Arthur I'm being serious!" Joan protested, "You didn't see just how angry she was. She just waited me out for the whole hour we were home - arms crossed and just mad as she sat on the sofa and refused to say anything."

Arthur pictured this in his mind. It wasn't characteristic of Maia at all, but then he figured that she'd always been a mini Joan, maybe in more ways than they'd ever even suspected. He shared these thoughts with Joan saying, "Maybe you're having a stand off with a teenaged version of yourself. What would you do to your teenage self to get through to her? That's probably what will work with Maia."

Joan wanted to be mad at Arthur for saying that the child she was so irritated with was just like her, but when she allowed herself to just believe it for a moment she could see that he might be right. Sighing then she said, "I hate this part of parenting."

Arthur raised his eyebrows and smiled at her, "What can I do to help you out?" he asked her as earnestly as he could. He knew that ultimately Joan needed to handle this situation as she saw fit and he trusted that she'd do it justly. In this backup role then he wanted to make sure he was appropriately supportive. Often he failed at that, but he could see exactly how ruffled and upset Joan was by what'd been going on for the past months now, and by what had happened today. Knowing all this, Arthur wanted to be sure that Joan felt like she was getting the support she needed from him.

Clearly it had been the right thing to say because she looked at him with such appreciation. "Honestly?" she said softly, "I'm not really sure. I don't know what to do myself. I alternate between wanting to shake some sense into her and just strangling her - and neither of those are really good options."

"You want me to talk to her?" Arthur offered. Joan paused at the suggestion and pondered whether this was the right strategy. On the one hand, Maia had stayed pretty open and close to Arthur so he might have a better chance at getting to the bottom of what was going on than she would. But on the other hand, at least half of the problem was that Joan and Maia weren't really talking to each other, so it seemed like they should be the ones talking.

Finally deciding to do both, Joan nodded her head. "Can you? Just to start - and then I'll talk to her? I don't know why she's not talking to me, why she's acting the way she is, so if I could even have something to start with it'd be helpful."

"So you want me to go on an intelligence gathering mission with our daughter," Arthur smirked.

"Exactly," Joan said as she gave him a half smile.

"Okay boss, I'll give it a try," he told her, before pulling her into an embrace. "It's going to work out," he whispered through her blonde hair.

Maia was still sitting on the sofa when Arthur came home. He smiled at the sight of her and Kelly there. Maia was a stubborn one, but at least she'd followed Joan's directions and stayed put. That was a tiny bit of a good sign he figured. "Thanks for guarding my daughter from herself," he said jokingly to Kelly as he paid her for her services and gave Maia a look that said that they needed to talk. Kelly let herself out and Arthur went down the hall to change his clothes - and to let Maia stew a little about what was up.

Coming back into the living room he could see that she hadn't moved at all. Flopping down on the sofa next to her, Arthur put all his weight into dropping onto the cushions so that they'd bounce Maia a little. She knew what her dad was doing and she cracked a small smile, but she didn't say anything.

"Mai - you've certainly gotten yourself into a heap of trouble today haven't you?" he asked his daughter as he looked into her clear blue eyes that today weren't giving anything away. Sitting at right angles to each other with Maia still leaning back against the arm of the sofa, they were both quiet for a little while. Maia had nodded when her father had asked her about being trouble, but she'd still kept silent.

"It's not like you to act the way you did Maia, so something must be going on. Your mother is about to kill you, so how about you tell me what's up so that I can help you out?" Arthur tried. He was hoping that the gentle, friendly, ally way in was going to work with Maia. It usually did.

Maia looked away from him and fiddled with her ponytail for a moment before looking up at him and saying, "She just treats me like I'm a baby. She won't talk to me about ANYTHING!"

Arthur was surprised by this response, "Like what? She thinks you're the one who won't talk to her. And from what I can recall from earlier this summer - you've been a little stubborn about talking with her."

Maia huffed a little then before complaining, "But da-ad - I'm only not talking to her because she's not talking to me!"

Okay, they were still somewhere that was a mystery to him, Arthur thought. "Mai - what are you talking about?" he asked her.

Maia looked away then and after waiting her out for a few minutes, Arthur got his answer. "About Seth," Maia said quietly. She stayed sitting there, her knees bent with her legs tucked to the side. She didn't raise her head at all, so all Arthur could see was her hair that was still in its tight ponytail from the tennis she'd gone to earlier that morning.

"Is that why you were following your mom?-to see her with her Seth?" Arthur asked her daughter gently. Now that she was talking he didn't want to spook her.

Maia nodded her head, and Arthur rubbed his hand over his face. "So you're telling me you were you spying on your mom?"

"I just wanted to know who he was and what she was up to with him," Maia protested then, but in a way that was quiet and defeated. When she talked to her dad she was always more humble than when she talked to her mom. She didn't know why she was more petulant with her mother; if she'd said the same thing to her Maia knew she would have whined. It was weird, but even though her mother was the one who was more easily annoyed by anything she perceived as attitude coming from her daughter, Maia couldn't help but have some attitude from time to time. With her dad, it was just different. Maybe she felt like he got her more, she didn't know, but in any case she just told him what she'd been after.

"How'd you get your intel on where to find them?" Arthur asked her next, not following up on why she needed to know more about Seth and Joan.

Maia bit her lip then and looked away from her father. "I can't tell you."

"Not okay Mai - you've got to tell me," Arthur said to his daughter firmly.

She hung her head even more then, "Dad, you're going to hate me if I tell you," she pled with her father.

"Not possible," he said without missing a beat. Then he reached out and tapped her under the chin so that she looked up at him again. "Maia I might not like whatever you did to get your intel, but I'd never be able to hate you." Then he added with a glint in his eye, "Even if I wanted to, I know I just couldn't."

Despite her father holding her chin up, Maia let her eyes fall back down toward the sofa cushions. "Please don't make tell you," she tried again.

"Maia you have to tell me or your mom - either way we're going to find out - and I'm just going to go out on a limb and say it'll be easier if you tell me," he explained to her firmly but not unkindly. He really felt for his daughter there, because he'd been in just the same place of feeling suspicious of Joan and Seth, but as her father and as Joan's wife, Arthur knew that they couldn't have a daughter spying on them or acting the way Maia had been acting toward Joan.

"Fine," Maia finally said quietly. She too knew that telling her dad was going to be hard to do, but no where near as dramatic as telling her mother. Her mother would lose her mind if Maia admitted to spying on her. She figured her dad wouldn't be pleased, but he was really trying to be gentle and understanding. Maia had already experienced her mother this afternoon, and she knew that she wasn't anywhere close to being in an understanding mood.

"Okay, so?" Arthur asked his daughter, prodding her to keep going.

"Ieavesdroppedonyououtsideyourbedroomdooratnight," Maia said quickly and without taking a breath.

"What did you say?" Arthur said, truly at a loss.

"Please don't make me say it again," Maia begged her dad as he saw a few tears drop from her eyes.

"Maia - I really didn't understand what you said - you've got to tell me so I can understand," Arthur told her.

Taking a deep breath, Maia repeated what she'd already said - this time more slowly, "I spied on you guys at night, outside your door. I heard mom say where she meeting Seth today."

Arthur nodded then and said nothing. Placing a hand on Maia's knobby knee he patted it a few times before speaking. "Thanks for telling me," was all he said. He didn't know what else to say. Joan was going to lose it when she found out.

"Dad?" Maia eventually ventured, "I know I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't help myself. I had to know what was going on, and mom wouldn't tell me when I asked."

Arthur studied his daughter then. "I understand wanting to know Maia - believe me I do. But that still doesn't excuse you spying or cutting tennis and stalking your mom. Do you understand that?" he asked her. He watched her carefully as she nodded her head, clearly still not fully ready to come to terms with it all, but at least now he (and soon Joan) would know what motivated everything she'd done today.

"Come here," he said to his now tearful daughter. Maia looked up at her father she saw that in his eyes were understanding mixed with exhaustion. She figured that the exhaustion was something she caused, but she was glad that there wasn't any anger there. At least one of her parents didn't currently hate her, she thought. She smiled a little at her dad, before moving to sit beside him. She let him put his arm around her shoulders, and she listened to him when he told her, "Mai - I love you no matter what. You know that right?" She nodded her head, so he knew her response. "I love your mom too Maia, and I need you to stop shutting her out, and to be patient with her and the Seth situation. It's complicated but there's nothing going on there that you need to be worried about. I promise," Arthur told Maia as they sat side-by-side on the sofa. "Okay?" he asked her after getting no response.

"Okay," Maia finally said, though even Arthur wasn't convinced she meant it.

"I'm serious Maia. Try to be good for your mom tonight. She loves you no matter what, but it'd be better if it wasn't in spite of your behavior or attitude," he told his daughter.

"Okay," Maia replied more quietly, "I'll try dad. I don't mean to be awful to her. It just happens sometimes."

"Well try not to let it happen tonight," Arthur suggested rather seriously.

Maia nodded her head in response, and Arthur figured that was the best he could get out of her right now. He squeezed her to his side once in a quick hug, before kissing her on the top of her head, and getting up from the sofa. "I've got some work to do. Your mom will be home soon - you'll stay here and wait for her right?" Arthur asked his daughter as he stood in front of her.

"Yeah," she said glumly.

Nodding in approval then, Arthur made his way down the hall toward the office so he could give his wife the heads up on what was going on with their daughter before actually getting down to the work he needed to do and could do from home.

* * *

When Joan walked in into the house 45 minutes later, Maia was still on the sofa where she'd left her that afternoon. Between then and now, Joan had calmed down a little. At least the adrenaline that was coursing through her when she'd thought she'd lost Maia, and then found her sitting across the cafe from her - well that was gone. But she was still displeased with all the choices Maia had made. And after hearing from Arthur that this seemed like it was all about Seth, and that Maia had been eavesdropping on them at night, the anger had risen again inside Joan. Why did her daughter need to know everything, she'd wondered aloud in the car as she drove home.

Gathering herself together she crossed the foyer into the living room. Addressing her daughter, she told her not to move and that she'd be back to talk after she changed. Maia didn't look up at her mother, which further enraged Joan, but she did nod her head so that her mother knew that she'd been heard.

"Alright young lady, start talking," was how Joan opened things with Maia as she sat down across from her.

"What?" Maia asked, confused by how quickly everything had started.

"What do you mean what?" Joan asked as her voice rose with exasperation. Leaning forward aggressively Joan counted off Maia's sins on her fingers, "Today you cut tennis, traveled across the city by yourself, spied on me and Seth, were completely disrespectful when you were caught, and apparently spied on me and your father for weeks now - and all of this is not to mention how rude you've been to me for months now!"

Swallowing hard, Maia just said, "Oh. That." She'd definitely not seen her mother this mad before. She never really yelled, but now here she was yelling.

Widening her eyes in disbelief at Maia's response Joan lit into her daughter, "Yes - THAT! All of that! What do you have to say for yourself? Because it better be pretty fantastic to account for all the trouble you've gotten yourself into!"

"Mom! Stop yelling at me! I can't think when you're yelling!" Maia let loose back at her mother.

"Excuse me?!" Joan shot back, "Do not take that tone with me young lady, I'm not the one who's in trouble."

"No you're not the one in trouble, but you're the one who caused all of this," Maia retorted, this time without raising her voice but with a soft, firm, confidence that shocked Joan.

"Young lady do not try to reassign blame. YOU are the one who's been rude, disrespectful, and disobedient. DO NOT try to make this about me," Joan growled back at her daughter who just sat looking at her with hateful eyes.

"But it IS about you!" Maia yelled back at her mother before she got up so abruptly it took her mother by surprise. Before Joan could process what had happened, Maia had taken off down the hall to her bedroom. Getting up to chase after her, Maia had too great of a head start on her mother. Fueled by her own righteous anger, Maia made it down the hall and slammed the door, locking it behind her.

Banging on the door, Joan yelled through the door at Maia, "I'm giving you approximately 3 minutes to get it together and open this door young lady. You won't like what will happen if you don't!" Stalking down the hall, Joan ran right into her husband who'd come out after hearing all the commotion.

"What happened?" Arthur asked his wife who was shaking she was so upset.

"She just took off down the hall and locked me out," Joan said to her husband. Looking into her eyes, he could see that she was really rattled by what was going on. Besides the fury that was definitely there, Arthur knew that it was also crushing Joan that things had taken such a rough turn with Maia.

"Let me try to get through to her," Arthur quietly told his wife. "I'll bring her down to talk to you, okay?" he asked her. She merely nodded and walked away. She could feel tears burning in her eyes, and she didn't want Arthur to see her cry over this.

Knocking gently on Maia's door then, Arthur called out to her, "Maia - it's me. Just me. Let me in please."

"No," Maia said unconvincingly, "You'll just make me talk to mom."

"Well yeah, but you know you'll eventually have to do that anyways," he reasoned with her through the still closed door. "Plus you promised that you'd try to be good for her," he reminded her.

Maia waited her father out for a moment, but she knew she'd promised it and she wasn't mad at her dad, just her mom. So she got up and unlocked the door, opening it to her father. He looked down at her with a little judgment in his eyes, but mostly it was disappointment that things had gotten so out of hand.

"Maia, listen to me for a minute," he stated. She looked at him and seemed to be open to listening.

"You are entitled to feeling how you do about Seth. You can talk to your mom about how you feel and you can be mad at her about that if you need to, but you also need to own up to what you did wrong. Do you hear me?" he asked his daughter with more firmness than he'd had in their earlier conversation.

"Yeah. I hear you," she finally said back.

"Okay, then come on - we need to go talk to your mom," Arthur said gesturing for her to follow him.

She didn't move, and so Arthur reached out and took her by the shoulders, "Come on Maia - let's get this over with. You need to apologize to your mom. How can she take your feelings about Seth seriously if you can't acknowledge that you might have done anything wrong?"

Maia huffed a little, but she did shuffle her feet and go with her father - back down the hall and into the living room. "Joan," Arthur called out, when they arrived back at the sofa and didn't find Joan there. Checking her face in the mirror, Joan took a deep breath and could see that she looked mostly normal - maybe a little puffy and red eyed, but mostly normal.

"Coming," she called back down the hall to her husband, as she exited the bedroom and headed back toward the living room. Coming into view, she could see that Arthur had Maia facing towards her - and seemed to be keeping her there with a firm grip on her shoulders.

"Maia has something to say to you," Arthur told his wife as he looked down at his daughter. With her facing away from him, she couldn't see the look he gave her, but she felt him squeeze her shoulders as a way of persuading her to talk.

"I'm sorry," Maia mumbled.

"For what?" Arthur prodded her.

"For being a jerk to you," Maia told her mother as she looked down at her toes.

"And?" Arthur pushed.

"And for cutting tennis," Maia added keeping her eyes still downcast.

"And you're ready to listen to your mother and answer her questions now aren't you?" Arthur asked his daughter pointedly.

Maia nodded, and snuck a glance up at her mother. Joan stood a few feet away studying her daughter. This wasn't quite the kind of apology she'd been expecting, or that she intended to get out of her, but it was a start she supposed. Still she stood there with her arms crossed and her eyes still narrowed at her daughter. Maia knew then that this wasn't going to be anywhere close to the end of it with her mother. "Okay then," Joan said to her daughter as she fought to keep her tone normal, "Then let's sit down and talk Maia."

Arthur leaned down then and whispered in his daughter's ear, "Remember what you promised me," before squeezing her shoulder, this time as both an encouragement and a reminder to do as she'd said she'd do. Sighing Maia nodded and sunk back down onto the sofa psyching herself up to face her mother. Joan crossed the room, and whispered a thank you to her husband before taking up the seat across from Maia.

"Maia," she began more gently than she had in her previous attempt to talk to her daughter, "Let's start with what happened with you cutting tennis and stalking me. Do you understand all the ways in which that was problematic?"

Maia nodded her head. She did know, and she'd promised her dad that she'd try to be civil with her mother, and so she nodded her head.

"I'm going to need you to tell me," Joan said firmly.

"Yes. I understand," Maia whispered.

"Okay - how was it problematic?" Joan asked her as she rolled her eyes. If this conversation continued at this pace, they were going to be here all night. But she was thankful that at least now Maia wasn't yelling.

Maia kicked her feet back against the sofa a few times before finally sighing and telling her mother, "Because I scared the tennis people, and I wasted your guys' money on the tennis."

Joan nodded her head and pushed her daughter for more, "And?"

"And I scared you and dad?" Maia offered.

"Yes - and?" Joan asked her daughter as tried hard not to loose her patience.

"And?" Maia asked back to her mother as she looked up at her. She was honestly confused by what else her mother could be referring to.

"And it was dangerous? How did you even get from tennis to DC?" Joan asked her daughter with a little exasperation in her voice.

"It wasn't dangerous mom. I looked up the route online beforehand. I took the metro to Tenleytown, and then a cab to where you were," Maia said leaving out that she was actually going to where her mother AND Seth were.

Joan pursed her lips before telling her daughter, "Well I guess I'm glad you did some research beforehand, but still a kid on the metro ALONE and taking a taxi alone - Maia that's just not safe. You were just setting yourself up to be hurt or taken, or something awful!"

Maia had to close her eyes to keep herself from rolling them at her mother. "Mom, I've been going around Manhattan with Sarah by ourselves - I think I'm fine taking the metro here. There were people all around!"

"Maia," Joan scolded then, "Then you were WITH someone. Today you were alone. And regardless of how safe you felt, it is NOT okay for you to travel around DC alone - and without anyone knowing where you were going."

"Fine," Maia huffed as she crossed her arms and flopped back against the sofa cushions.

"So that's one thing that went down today," Joan commented, "Let's move on to your behavior when I found you."

"But mom I was mad! I was just mad at you, so I couldn't be all perfect because I didn't want to be. I didn't want to be with you then. And you were being mean too!" Maia whined.

Joan raised an eyebrow at her daughter as a warning to cut out the whining. In her mind however, Joan thought it was fairly hilarious that her daughter wanted to accuse her of being mean given the situation she'd caused. "It's sort of hard for me to believe that you didn't want to be with me, when you were the one stalking me," Joan mused, before pausing to let that all sink into Maia's head.

"You know what I mean, I wanted to know what you were doing, but I didn't want to be with you when you were all angry like that," Maia scoffed as she scowled.

"Do you think I was unjustly angry?" Joan asked her daughter then, while trying hard to hold it together to maintain a calm exterior.

Maia said nothing. If she spoke, she knew she'd have to admit that her mother might have been justly angry.

"Maia I asked you a question," Joan stated firmly.

"I know. I'm thinking." Maia retorted. When she saw the vein in her mother's neck twitch a little, Maia decided she needed to just suck it up and tell her mother, "Fine. You had reason to be angry."

Joan nodded then, "And why?"

"Because you thought I was lost, and I wasn't," Maia whispered back to her mother. She was starting to lose some of the nerve that had kept her going so far. She wished her mother would stop with all the questions, and just yell and punish her so they could all move on.

Instead Joan kept going. "So we're in agreement that you shouldn't have cut tennis for a number of reasons, and that you were disrespectful to me even though I was justly angry with you for what you'd done," she summarized for her daughter who just nodded in agreement when Joan paused to make sure they really were on the same page. "And so now - let's move on to how you knew where to find me," Joan said, "Apparently you were eavesdropping on me and your father to get information?"

Maia let her eyes flick upwards to look at her still clearly angry mother. "Yeah," she said very quietly.

"Maia," Joan sighed, "What's gotten into you?"

Maia just shrugged in response, irritating Joan. She hated non-verbal answers. "Maia," she said with a warning clear in her voice.

Maia sat there for a few minutes before looking directly at her mother and telling her that she'd promised her dad that she'd be good for her. Joan cocked her head when Maia said it, but said nothing, and so Maia finished up by telling her, "I don't think I can tell you what's gotten into me without yelling. So I can't talk about it right now."

Joan was speechless for a moment. It was rare for her to be speechless, but she didn't know what to say to her daughter. Maia was sitting quietly across from her, fidgeting and so clearly unsure of what to do herself, and a little fearful of what Joan's reaction would be. Taking a breath Joan looked at her daughter for a moment longer before speaking. "Okay Maia. But we can't just not talk about it. So I'm going to cut you a deal. We don't have to talk about it right now. It's late. And we've both had a rough day. But we will talk about it first thing in the morning. So figure out how to talk about it without yelling between now and then." And with that Joan got up and walked out of the living room.

Maia kept sitting on the sofa. That hadn't gone the way she had planned. And she was fairly certain that there was no way she'd be ready to talk any more calmly tomorrow morning than she was right now. Sighing and giving herself the space to have a little cry, Maia curled up on the sofa and had herself a good cry over the situation she'd gotten herself into. And that was where Arthur found her a few hours later after he and Joan had reviewed the day and tried to strategize next steps with their newly rebellious daughter. Shaking her a little to wake her up, Maia opened her eyes to see her father leaning down over her. "Come on, let's get you to bed peanut," Arthur said to his daughter.

"But mom didn't say I could leave yet," Maia told him, and he could see sadness creep into his daughter's blue blue eyes.

"Aw, I'm sure she doesn't want you to actually sleep out here," Arthur told her as he smiled down at his daughter.

"Will you tell her you told me to go to my own bed?" Maia asked her dad as she got up from the sofa.

He nodded at her and put his arm around her as he walked her down the hall to her own bedroom. "You a little afraid of your mom?" he asked her jokingly.

Maia shook her head, but then told her dad, "I guess I just don't want to make her more mad than she already is."

"Good," Arthur said as he pulled Maia's covers down so she could get into bed.

"Night Maia," he called back to his daughter as he left her room and headed back down the hall toward his own bedroom and Joan. Both Joan and Maia were clearly broken down, but neither was letting it show to anyone but him. If they'd just really talk to each other, he thought everything would be better, but sometimes the two of them were too alike and too stubborn to do that. Sighing to himself, Arthur slipped into bed beside his wife. As she turned toward him, Arthur could see she'd been crying. "Hey," he said to her, "For what it's worth Maia's just as sad I think. She was out there sleeping on the sofa because she didn't want make you more mad by moving. You two are going to get through this."

Joan smiled weakly at her husband, "I hope so. I just don't know that I'm ready to give her the information she needs to be okay with me and Seth," she said so softly that he barely heard her.

"I know," he responded, "But Joan, I think she'll be understanding, I think it might be what she needs to know so she doesn't keep worrying about what you're doing with Seth."

She nodded then. As much as she hated to admit it, she knew that Arthur was right, but she also knew she really didn't feel ready to have that conversation with Maia. Maia always had seen her as maybe a little scary, but definitely strong, brave, and a perfectionist. Telling her about her addiction history meant changing that image, and it also meant burdening her daughter with worries about her that Joan wasn't ready to lay on Maia's shoulders.


	19. Crossing State Lines & Conclusions

**Chapter 19: Crossing State Lines & Conclusions**

The elevator opened into the foyer of the bright apartment. Out of the elevator stepped Arthur and Joan. They looked tired. Maia came running down the stairs toward them, her long blond hair flying behind her. She stopped a few feet short of them, and both Joan and Arthur raised an eyebrow at her. Joan's sister, Caroline, peered around the hall, gave a quick nod to Joan and Arthur and then disappeared down the hall and into the kitchen. Standing there in her lavender skinny jeans and loose white tank top with little gray dots on it, Maia looked at her parents, unfolded a piece of paper that had been folded many times over, and started to read.

_Dear Mom and Dad, _

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry for so many things, and I know that I don't deserve you to be patient with me right now, but please please can I read this to you before we move on? _

Maia paused there and looked up at her parents, who both nodded slightly.

_I'm sorry for yelling and saying hateful things to mom today, and I'm sorry for running away. And I'm really sorry for ditching my phone and for making you worry. But mostly I'm just sorry I didn't trust you both that you are doing your best to be my parents and to be good to each other. I know I haven't exactly been an easy kid lately. You probably think that it's more like I'm impossible, but I've had a lot of time to think about what I did today, and why I did what I did, and once I did that, to feel really awful about what I did. _

Maia took a deep breath, and then continued.

_So Mom - I shouldn't have yelled at you this morning. You've always encouraged me to share my feelings and you've always listened to me when I have. So I know I should have tried that instead of just yelling and making crazy accusations. I don't actually try to make you mad, I just think that sometimes I disappoint you or am just a burden, and I don't want to be and so that makes me feel bad and sorry for myself, and then I say things I shouldn't. I'm sorry. And this whole Seth thing has been really hard on me, and so when I saw you with Seth, and when you let him put his hand on yours and stuff, I jumped to conclusions, and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry about that too. So hopefully you won't hate me too much after this. _

_Dad - I know you want me to have a good relationship with mom, and I know that today was probably a huge frustration and disappointment for you. I'm really sorry I messed up on such a big scale, and I think that's why I ran away. I didn't know what to do. I mean I guess I knew, somewhere deep down inside, that I should just turn around and apologize, but honestly I guess I was just scared that mom wouldn't accept the apology, and also even though I'm almost 12, I don't have good emotion regulation and I'm a little full of pride. Anyways. I'm really sorry I let you down today, and that I turned your day upside down. _

_You're both good parents to me. You always have been. And I know that I didn't help anything by running away today. I'll be really sorry about it for a long time. I love you both so much, and I'm really glad you wanted to come up and get me tonight. I'm sorry you had to do it, but I'm glad you did. I'm going to do my best to make you feel like that was a good decision and that I deserve all the efforts you put into me. I hope you can forgive me for all the stuff I did wrong today. I am really really sorry. _

Maia read her apology to her parents and as she did so, she stole glances at them - in part to just make eye contact because that was good public speaking, and in part to gauge their responses to what she was saying. Her parents were not the most patient people, they were used to being in charge, and at work they didn't spend much time hearing long apologies. Apologies, were of course expected when things went wrong, but long ones weren't necessary. They both believed that you said you were sorry and you moved on - after all their work was hierarchical and ultimately they were the ones making the decisions anyways. But this was their daughter, and as Maia read on, her parents seemed to melt a little. They were all still standing in the foyer of Joan's sister's swanky Manhattan apartment, and at first her parents just stood and listened, but as she went on and read the part about her mom and being a disappointment, Maia saw her father grab her mother's hand. Joan gave a weak smile and a quick glance to Arthur as he took her hand. They both chuckled a little when she said she was almost 12 and so not good at emotion regulation. And as she finished her last paragraph, Arthur let go of Joan's hand so he could put his arm around her. She put hers around his waist and they let their little girl finish what she had to say.

When she finished, Maia looked up at her parents expectantly. She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but she was expecting something. Neither of them were ever really at a loss for words. Though it appeared that was exactly what was happening right now. The air hung thick around the three of them, and finally it was her mother who broke the silence, "That was a very heartfelt apology Maia, thank you." As Joan looked at her daughter she realized just how sad and sorry she looked. "Come here," she called to her. And Maia went, eagerly. Her mother pulled her arm away from her father, and wrapped Maia up in a hug. She kissed her long blonde hair, and in that moment Joan was glad that her daughter was still short enough that she could kiss the top of her head. "I'm sorry too," Joan whispered into her daughter's hair, "And no matter what you do, I'll always love you," she finished up. Maia leaned back enough to be able to look at her mother. With tear filled eyes she smiled a little at her mom, and then went back in for another hug, squeezing her mom tightly. Maia still wasn't sure that all was really okay with her mom, but she was reassured that her mother didn't hate her.

Arthur stood to the side and watched his wife and daughter. He rubbed his temples with his left hand and thought about the day they'd all had. When Joan called him in a panic earlier saying, "Maia is gone!" He'd nearly had a heart attack. When he and Joan got up that morning, Maia was already dressed and sitting on the sofa, seemingly waiting to finish up her conversation with her mother. Joan and Arthur had talked about how they wanted to handle this morning conversation, and Joan has asked to do it alone. Although she appreciated Arthur's desire to support her, she thought she needed more privacy to decide how to handle telling her daughter anything about Seth. And so Arthur kissed both Joan and Maia, and headed into work early.

Apparently the conversation between Joan and Maia hadn't gone well - at all. Joan had asked Maia if she was ready to talk about why she'd done what she'd done the day before. Maia had nodded and told her mother that it was because she was sneaking around with Seth. She hadn't meant for it to come out as accusatory as it did, but in the moment Maia was mostly glad she hadn't yelled when she'd said it. Joan, however, was less than pleased with this accusation. While she'd been psyching herself up to share something with Maia, being put on the defensive didn't sit well with her and threw her off course. Reprimanding Maia, Joan let her daughter know that she had no right to make such accusations.

In response Maia had lost it and yelled about how she saw her mother and Seth being all touchy feely with each other, and so what else was she supposed to think?

This further set off Joan who demanded that Maia watch her tone and remember that she was talking to her mother.

"EXACTLY!" Maia had shouted, "I'm talking to my MOTHER, who is running around with some other guy and pretending like it's NORMAL and just FINE. It's not FINE mom! What are you doing with him?"

When Joan firmly refused to share the information with her and told her that Seth was a friend and the only problem she could see was that Maia was misbehaving and cutting tennis, Maia had protested in the way only an almost teenager can, with a lot of whining and argument about what was her right to know, and that it was creepy that Seth had, presumably, recognized her yesterday even though she'd never met him. Somehow the argument had escalated and Joan had yelled at her telling her that it was not her right to know anything, and that she needed to just trust her parents when they decided she didn't need to know something. "This is NOT a democracy. We are not equals!" Joan had shouted at Maia when Maia continued to press her mother to know because she deserved answers.

In response to Joan's proclamation that this family was not a democracy, Maia protested further, and Joan had resorted to a modification of her favorite lines in a standoff with an operative who was having a temper tantrum. "I encourage you to take a breath and remember where we both stand in the hierarchy of this family, and LOWER YOUR VOICE," she'd shouted at Maia. Instead of shocking her into submission, this comment enraged Maia further and she let loose, "This family?"! I encourage YOU to take a breath and remember that you're my mother not just some CIA person. Or is that just way too hard for you because to be a mother you have to recognize that your daughter has FEELINGS, and that you can't just make her stuff them down and avoid talking about things that make YOU uncomfortable!"

Joan tried hard to hold it together and not reach out and strangle her only child. "Maia, I am thinking about what is best for you, and what's best for you is definitely NOT me explaining my totally professional relationship with a colleague of mine to you. Furthermore, do not EVER question my feelings for you, or my ability to parent you. Do you know the lengths your father and I go to make sure you have access to the best of everything? I'm ALWAYS just trying to be a good mother to you."

Maia rolled her eyes at her mother, a move that increased Joan's heart rate ten fold, "Clearly you missed the memo that access to the best of everything isn't a replacement for actual parents. Maybe you should work giving me access to YOU. But I guess that's just too hard, because it means you might have to actually talk to me about stuff! Instead you just want to go around and sleep with other men!" Maia had screamed at her mother.

Before Maia could make any more accusations, Joan lost it. Hurling the coffee mug she was holding across the kitchen, it hit the wall behind Maia and exploded into a thousand little shards of ceramic, with the remainder of her coffee splattering everywhere. The suddenness and drama of this action stunned both Maia and Joan into silence. The shattering sound ricocheted off the walls, and that was all the sound in the room for a moment. Joan drew in a sharp breath totally surprised at herself and the degree to which she'd lost her temper. But before she could get her voice back, Maia turned on the heel of her black ballet flat and took off.

"Maia," Joan called after her, and when it was clear that she wasn't stopping Joan went after her. Maia had grabbed her purse, flung open the front door and darted out of the house. Bursting out onto the street, Maia took off down the road, running behind neighbors' houses so that it was harder for Joan to see where she was going. Cutting through the backyards of their neighbors, Maia made her way into an open shed in one of the backyards she ran through. Slumping to the floor, she took a number of deep breaths as she tried to bring her own heart rate down to normal. She was used to running, and she was fit, but she wasn't used to sprinting with the emotion she'd run with just now. She knew her mother would be livid and looking for her. Taking out the phone she was glad she had with her, she searched for a taxi company, and then called for a cab to pick her up down the street. Once the cab called to say it was there she ditched her phone and took off in the taxi. Leaping into the car, she ordered her driver to The National Gallery. She had watched enough spy movies with her parents to know better than to say she wanted to go to the train station - which was where she actually wanted to go. She didn't want her parents to know where she was going that fast. The National Gallery would require them to look around there first before looking elsewhere. She loved that museum and her parents knew it. Maybe they would think she was really there. She paid and thanked the driver as the car pulled up outside the National Gallery and she walked with purpose into the museum. After taking a pass through the Greco-Roman art, Maia headed out of the west side of the building where she grabbed another cab over to L'Enfant Plaza, and from there she took the metro to the train station, where she bought herself a ticket to New York City.

Arthur had Auggie trace Maia's phone, and after finding it in their neighbor's shed they called the cab company she'd called to pick her up. From there they tracked her to The National Gallery. Arthur had to give it to his kid - she was good at disappearing. They followed the trail she'd left them, scouring the cameras of The National Gallery until they found out she'd gone to the metro (2.5 hours later). As they were an hour and a half into scoping out the metro video footage trying to find Maia, Arthur's phone rang. He almost didn't answer it because it was a 212 number- Joan's sister's number. Joan glared at him when he took the call saying, "Caroline! How are you?" The line was silent for a moment, "Caroline?" he repeated, which made Joan's ears perk up. She came over and pressed speaker on his phone, and they both listened to some breathing on the other end of the line, and then a small voice came on, "Dad? I'm safe. I'm at Aunt Caroline's. I'm -" But she didn't get to finish what she was saying because he lit into her, "What the hell Maia?! Do you know the trouble you've caused? Do you have ANY idea how worried your mother and I were?" There was sniffling on the other end of the phone, and in her still small voice, Joan and Arthur heard her apologize and then Caroline came on the phone. The adults talked things over, and Joan and Arthur left the office immediately, swung by their house to pick up clothes for themselves and their runaway daughter, and hit the road to NYC. The drive had been tense. They were both angry as they headed out of DC. Arthur was so angry that he'd gone into their basement and dug around until he found the paddle his father had used on him, and given to him when Maia was born. Arthur hated the thing and had stashed it in the basement sure he'd never use it on his baby girl. And he hadn't. Neither he nor Joan had ever so much as raised a finger to Maia; they'd decided that wasn't the kind of parents they wanted to be, and Maia had always responded to significantly milder forms of discipline. But today, Arthur could barely see straight he so was angry with his daughter, and his emotions were raw from all the work he and Joan had done to try to find her. So he stashed it into the yellow Kate Spade Saturday bag that Joan had used to pack up pajamas, clothes, and toiletries for Maia.

Somewhere along the Jersey Turnpike, they'd gotten a call from Caroline. Apparently their kid had talked to her about how to handle her parents. She'd told her aunt that she was scared, and not so much scared of whatever punishment she had coming her way, but scared that her parents were going to hate her for what she'd done. Caroline recounted how upset Maia had been about what she presumed was an affair that Joan was having with Seth, and that her dad didn't even seem to care. She thought her parents loved each other and loved her, but it seemed like it was all a facade, and her mother just wanted her to be perfect, and her father wanted to her to be nice to her mother, but no one wanted to talk about the fact that it was all just a lie. Hearing all this broke Arthur's heart. He had a real soft spot for his daughter. She was definitely his weakness. He loved Joan of course, but Maia was his little girl. Joan listened to her sister in silence and then said, "Well she just has no idea. She's 11. And she should be scared because this kind of behavior is _totally_ unacceptable." But even she didn't totally believe herself when she said it. She felt bad for her daughter too. She knew that they were more alike than she was able to admit most of the time, and her daughter's temper probably calmed down and now she was perseverating about all her mistakes. After they got off the phone with Caroline, Joan and Arthur continued driving in silence for awhile, both absorbed in their own thoughts.

"There's something I should tell you," Joan finally said to Arthur, "about this morning."

Arthur took his eyes off the road to encourage his wife to keep talking.

"This morning Maia said I wasn't a good mother to her, and that she didn't think that I wanted to be - or knew how," Joan said quietly, looking down at her hands and playing with her rings.

"Well that's not true and you know that," Arthur said, trying to be encouraging.

"No it's not true. I do want to be a good mother to her, but she's right I haven't been a good mother to her lately. I haven't made the time to talk to her at all, and all I've done is scold her or yell at her. She's tried to talk to me about Seth and I've just shut her out." Joan trailed off and looked out the window.

Arthur didn't say anything right away, but finally he spoke up, saying, "Maybe you're right, but she still shouldn't have run. I don't know why she'd do that. She knows she can to talk to us."

Joan looked out of the corner of her eye at Arthur and sighed deeply. "What is it Joan?" Arthur asked. His wife said nothing. "Joan come on, something else is going on. Tell me what it is," he tried to encourage his wife to say what was on her mind.

She sighed again and ran her hand through her blonde hair. "I threw my coffee mug at her," she whispered, "and then she ran." She couldn't make eye contact with her husband as he again turned to look at her. He watched helplessly as a few tears slipped out of her eyes.

Arthur reached over and squeezed her thigh,"Hey. Did you actually hit her?"

Joan shook her head. "But Arthur," she said softly, "I don't know why I did it. She was just saying awful things and before I knew it I'd thrown my mug at her. I could have really hurt her," she said more emphatically.

Arthur whistled and said, "Well okay, but you didn't. And that still doesn't mean she should've run. We'll get through this Joan."

They were quiet again. As they hit the tunnel, they tried to strategize, they thought they should have a plan. But as they pulled up to Joan's sister's building and turned the car over to the valet, neither of them were really sure what they were going to do. It was always up to Arthur to take care of any serious discipline, but he wasn't at all sure that smacking her with that awful paddle was the way to go. Joan was lost in her own thoughts and was anxious about how Maia was going to respond to her, and that's where they were when the elevator door opened into Caroline's foyer.

So from that to this, Arthur could just look on and marvel. He was relieved that Joan and Maia were hugging each other. But as they broke apart, neither of them seemed to know what to say. They both looked at Arthur, and he took his cue. "Maia sweetheart, I'm proud of you for apologizing and thinking through what happened today, but I think that you and I should probably go upstairs and have our own conversation." Joan took Maia's hand and gave it a squeeze before releasing it. Maia smiled shyly as she looked at her dad. Taking a deep breath she said, "Yeah," and walked toward him. Arthur put his arm around her waist and walked with her out of the foyer and toward the staircase. He gave her a quick kiss on the head, and she looked up at him and mustered another little smile.

They trudged up the steps together, neither of them too eager for what came next, and neither of them really knowing what was coming next. As they got to the top of the steps, they took a quick left turn and went into the guest bedroom where Maia always stayed when she visited. She broke away from her father then and sat down on the bed. Pulling her knees up to her chest, she tried to keep herself calm. Her dad sat down right next to her and hugged her to his side. She didn't protest. After a minute she lifted her head and turned to look at her dad. He looked sad too. They had the same piercing blue eyes, and in his eyes she could see his disappointment in her and his sadness that everything that happened that day had happened. "Daddy," she started," I'm sorry."

He gave her a half smile and ruffled her hair and told her, "I know."

"This is going to be a pretty serious conversation huh?" she said as a statement of fact more than a question.

"What do you think?" he replied. To which, she gave him a half smile, "Yeah, I thought so."

But neither of them moved. Then he finally got up and went to the bag that Joan had packed for Maia. He opened it up and got the paddle out that he'd put in there. He ran his fingers along it and shivered a little as he thought back on the times his father used it on him. He'd already decided he wasn't going to use it on Maia, but he still wanted to impress upon her just how serious of a situation she was in. When he turned around with it, Maia took one look at it and gasped, "Dad. Please!"

He sat down next to her with it and handed it to her. "It's what my dad used on me when I stepped too far out of line," he said to his daughter, who suddenly looked terrified and a lot younger than she had just a minute ago.

She didn't know what to say to him, and so she said nothing at first. They both just sat there. Then she whispered to him, "It hurt a lot didn't it?"

"You bet it did," her father said, "I got through it though. My father never smacked me without just cause."

Maia nodded and then offered up, "I guess I gave you a lot of cause today huh?"

Arthur looked down at his daughter and told her, "Yeah you did. But you know what Mai?"

"What?" she asked him fearfully.

"When your grandpa gave this to me, I promised myself that I'd never use it on you. I wanted to be able to parent you without resorting to any sort of violence. I still believe that we can work out any problems we're having by talking," he explained to his daughter who was breathing an enormous sigh of relief.

"But Maia?" Arthur said as he tried to refocus her, "sweetheart you've got to figure things out with your mom. Your attitude, running away, it's just all not okay," he said to her, pleading with his eyes.

"I know," she said softly, "I want to too. I think I'm just scared of her - well not scared of her, but like maybe she's rejecting us or me for what she could have with Seth - you know - no kids."

Arthur hugged her then, and again she folded herself into his hug, nestling her head on his shoulder. "Maia honey, your mom would never reject you. She loves you so much. I know that it's been bumpy lately, but she really does love you more than you know."

They sat there together like that, and they were still sitting like that when they heard a knock on the door. Arthur just squeezed his girl a little tighter and called out, "Come in." Maia craned her head to see who it was, and was surprised when her mother slipped into the room.

"Mom?" she said.

"Hey," her mother said, "Arthur - have you" her voice trailing off.

"No," he said, not giving able to give her any more details because she cut him off with a sigh and a statement of "Good."

Joan walked across the room so she was standing in front of her daughter. Maia looked up at her, and Joan reached out her hand taking Arthur's father's paddle from her. Maia's eyes flashed with fear, and Joan caught the emotion, as she handed it back to Arthur to pack away forever. Kneeling down in front of her daughter she looked Maia straight in the eyes. Joan reached out again and wiped away the couple of tears that dripped down her daughter's cheeks. "I really appreciate your honesty about how you were feeling in your note. I think you and I have more to talk about than you and your dad, so maybe we can have an actual talk, and your dad doesn't need to have a conversation with you?" Joan told her daughter.

Maia nodded and Joan hugged her then. Arthur took in this whole scene and sighed and smiled. He was relieved that not only was he not going to have be the disciplinarian, but also that his wife and daughter seemed to already be doing better together than they had in months. Getting up he gave his wife a little squeeze on her shoulder and slipped out of the room. "Good luck. God I hope this goes well," Arthur thought as he shut the door, leaving his wife and daughter to try to sort out their relationship.

As Arthur left the room, Joan pulled back from Maia and studied her daughter's face. She gave her a little smile, and as anxious as Maia was, she could see the twinkle in her mother's eyes. Then in a voice that was soft, a little unsure, and soothing - a voice that Maia wasn't used to hearing from her mother, Joan said to her, "Sweetheart I want you to know that there's nothing you could do or say that would EVER make me love you less or stop loving you." And with that she tapped her daughter under the chin a little so they could make eye contact. "Okay?" Joan asked her.

"Okay," Maia said shyly as she looked away from her mother.

"So," Joan continued as she sat down next to her daughter and put her hand on Maia's left knee, "Do you think that you can tell me what is making you think that I might want to reject you, or that you're a disappointment or a burden?"

Maia bit her lip. She reached up and played with some of her hair that was hanging down and obscuring her face from her mother's view. "Well," she started and then stopped. Figuring out how to tell her mother any of this was going to be one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do.

"Be honest," Joan encouraged her, "I need to know what's making you so nervous," she said as she squeezed her daughter's knee a little.

Maia took a deep breath, "Okay. Well I think. Maybe it's because. Wow. This is hard. What was the question again?"

"What am I doing that makes you think I don't really love you unconditionally, or that I am trying to leave you?" Joan repeated.

"Right," Maia said as she released a deep breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. Then she sat there silently for a minute. Joan sat with her in that silence, not wanting to rush her into talking, and wanting to make sure Maia had the time to gather her thoughts.

Finally Maia broke the silence, "Mom?" she asked.

"Yeah?" Joan asked back, giving her a smile even though Maia was looking down at her hands and not at Joan.

"Can we maybe try the conversation a different way?" Maia ventured.

"Sure," Joan said, "What do you have in mind?"

"Well," Maia said slowly,"I think maybe one of the things that's hard for me is thinking that maybe you wish you weren't tied down and that's why you're spending time with Seth and being evasive with me about why you hang out with Seth. So..." she said, her voice trailing off.

Joan put her arm around her daughter but didn't say anything, wanting to give Maia the space to keep talking.

"So I guess maybe - did you want to have a kid? Do you sometimes wish you weren't so tied down?" Maia asked in a whisper.

Now it was Joan's turn to take a deep breath. "You don't start small do you?" she said. "Well - you know there are a lot of things you probably need to know. But the most important thing is that I have never wished you weren't my daughter. And me spending any time with Seth has nothing to do with me wishing I was childless or not with your dad or anything like that. Seth is an old friend of mine. He was someone I dated once, but when I met your dad I knew that he was the one who I really wanted to spend my life with. And Maia I've never regretted that decision, just like I've never regretted having you."

As she'd been talking Maia had been stealing glances at her, and Joan had noticed that Maia had even started to smile a little. Joan smiled down at her daughter and Maia looked up at her and softly told her mother, "Thanks for telling me all that."

"Do you want to talk about any of it more specifically? Or less abstractly - more in relationship to you and me?" Joan asked her daughter, squeezing her a little to try to communicate that it really was okay for her to ask any questions.

Maia didn't say anything. She just leaned into her mother. "Okay," Joan said, "how about if I start with making it less abstract for you?"

"Okay," Maia replied.

"I'm sorry that I haven't been open with you about Seth, but I haven't been ready to talk about. It's kind of like how your dad and I didn't tell you much about my job until recently," Joan started before she had to stop to take a breath herself. Telling her daughter anything was going to be much harder than she thought, and she'd always thought it would be hard.

Maia looked up at her mother then, and where usually she couldn't read emotions in her mother's eyes, she could see a sadness there that surprised her. "Mom?" Maia asked, "I shouldn't have said that stuff about you and Seth this morning."

"No, you shouldn't have," Joan said before softening and admitting, "But I didn't help you try to understand the situation at all. I'm going to try to do that now though." She paused there to collect herself and enough courage to move forward. Maia waited silently and patiently for her mother to continue for a few moments. When Joan spoke again it was in that soft voice that was such a rare one for Maia to hear. "Long before you were born, I was feeling pretty bad about myself and I started to take pills - prescription pills - and I started to take more than I should have. Do you understand what I'm telling you?" she asked her daughter realizing that saying out loud that she had abused drugs or gotten addicted was something that she going to try to avoid saying if she could. Admitting it to her daughter - even obtusely like this was terrifying enough.

Maia nodded, "You were taking drugs?" she asked her mother quietly.

Joan nodded. "It got out of hand then, and so I went to get treatment so I could stop. Seth was my sponsor - the person who was like my personal counselor so that if I felt like I might take one of those pills, I would talk to him and he would help me not do it," she explained. Maia's eyes were wide and she nodded gravely as her mother shared with her about who Seth was. "So that's who Seth is," Joan finished. Relieved to be done with the confession she took a breath and studied her daughter for her reaction.

"I haven't taken anything in years," she tried to reassure Maia.

Maia was quiet and Joan worried that it wasn't right to have shared anything of this magnitude with Maia. But then she felt Maia's arms tighten around her, hugging her. "I'm sorry you felt that bad mom," Maia whispered.

Joan hugged her daughter back and told her, "Sweetheart I don't want you to worry at all about me, or that I might do anything crazy. I have everything under control, and I only meet with Seth to make sure that everything stays that way."

Maia nodded before venturing to ask her mother, "But you sometimes still want to?"

"No," Joan said - a little white lie, "I just see Seth when I've been having a rough time at work or something to make sure I don't let myself get to a place where I'd feel like I want to. So you don't need to worry about anything."

"Is that why you didn't tell me? - you didn't want me to worry?" Maia asked her mother.

"Pretty much," Joan admitted.

"What was the other reason?" Maia asked.

"How do you know that wasn't the whole reason?" Joan asked her daughter, surprised that she'd called her out like that.

"Mom you're too exact about things to say pretty much if you meant it mean the whole reason," Maia explained.

"Well, the other reason was that it's a little embarrassing to admit to," Joan quietly told her daughter. And it was. She could feel her face flush as she said it.

"Oh," Maia said in response to her mother's statement. She hadn't actually thought of that. The more she thought about it, however, Maia thought that it was actually helpful that her mother had told her what was really going on with her and Seth. After sitting there in reflective silence for a bit, Maia let her mother know, telling her, "Actually mom, it's kind of good to know you're not totally perfect."

Joan let out a strangled laugh before asking her daughter, "Oh really? Why?"

"Because it's hard to be your daughter sometimes. It's all just so much to live up to."

"Well," Joan said smiling down at Maia, "I think you're doing a great job. I'm really proud of you, and proud to have you as my daughter."

"Mom?" Maia asked, "I'm really sorry about today." She kept her head against her mother's shoulder as she said it.

"I know. And you're forgiven," Joan reassured her, "And I'm really sorry about today too, and for anything I've done that has ever made you think I don't just love you to death," she continued as she leaned her own head down to plant a kiss on Maia's cheek. "You're a pretty awesome kid," she told her daughter.

"Thanks. And thanks for telling me what was really going on with you and Seth. I was so nervous I think I just got mad." Maia confessed before adding, "You're a pretty awesome mom too-especially now that I know you're not actually perfect."

"Thanks," Joan said back to her daughter as she rubbed Maia's arm and kissed her again.

"I shouldn't have said all that stuff to you," Maia said, apologizing again, "I was just so mad that I lost my mind a little."

"I know," Joan assured her.

"I'm glad you're not still mad at me," Maia told her mother as she snuggled deeper into her side.

"I knew you were enough like me to know that you'd probably been sorry for everything for a few hours before we even got here. I figured you didn't ned to be made any sorrier. I just needed to figure out how to talk to you about everything," Joan told Maia gently.

"Yeah. I've been sorry pretty much since before we even got to Philadelphia," Maia admitted.

"Wow," Joan said as her eyes grew large, "That's been a long time."

"Yeah," Maia readily admitted, nodding but not making eye contact with her mother.

"Well how about we go see if your aunt has any ice cream in her freezer? With all that sorriness and anxiety I bet you probably didn't each much huh?" Joan said with a smile that Maia could hear in her voice.

Maia sat up and turned to look at her mother as she made a quizzical face at her. "Mom? Ice cream? Really? You're going to let me eat ice cream instead of real dinner?" she asked her mother.

"Yup," Joan said, "You know I'm not always a serious, play by the rules or die type person. It's part of being a good mom I think - you've gotta know when your daughter really just needs ice cream," and with that Joan grinned at her daughter who was still looking at her like she'd lost her mind.

"I do not know what you've done with Joan Campbell," Maia declared, "but I'm definitely into this mom." And with that Maia leapt off the bed and reached for her mother's hand. Joan took it and followed her daughter's lead as they exited the bedroom and hit the stairs en route to the kitchen and Caroline's freezer.

As they came around the corner, Arthur and Caroline heard them. They'd both been sitting in the living room - on and off talking about kids. They both looked up at the stairs and saw Maia smiling and leading her also smiling mother down the stairs. "Come on mom," she was saying to Joan, "I'm STARVING!"

"Well," Arthur said out loud, "That must have gone well."

Maia and Joan came down the stairs and waved at them as they kept walking past them towards the kitchen. "Please tell me you have ice cream," Joan called to her sister, who just smiled and rolled her eyes.

"Of course Joanie - there's definitely some vanilla and I think that there's some mint chip too," Caroline called back to her sister.

Arthur and Caroline ambled after Maia and Joan, and came into the kitchen just as Maia was pulling ice cream cartons from the freezer while Joan was breaking out some spoons.

"Bowls or no bowls?" Caroline asked.

"No bowls necessary," Maia said as she dug her spoon deep into the half empty carton of mint chip.

"Hey you gonna share any of that?" Arthur cut in as he grabbed a spoon from his wife.

"Only if you hurry up," Maia said grinning, her mouth half full of ice cream.

And with that Arthur stabbed his spoon into the carton, taking a huge spoonful for himself. Joan looked on at him, and he turned and caught her eye. Joan give him a bright smile and wink just before she savored a spoonful of vanilla ice cream straight from the container.

"Wow kid," Arthur said to Maia, "You've got your mom eating ice cream straight from the box, what kind of special kid forces are you packing?"

Maia just smiled at him, twirled around, wrested the ice cream carton from him and told him, "Well we learned that I'm a pretty awesome kid and she's a pretty awesome mom, so no special forces. I think we just finally accepted our own awesomeness!"

Arthur laughed out aloud and Joan chuckled and smiled. After a really long day it seemed like things had finally turned into a good place for the Campbell family.

* * *

As the three adults and Maia polished off the ice cream, the mood was light and everyone seemed to be feeling happy with the state of things. Maia, for her part, was filled with relief that everything had turned out as it had, and filled with hope that she and her parents - especially her mom - were on the way to being back to good. As she stole the last bit of mint ice cream right off her father's spoon with a smile that shone through her eyes, her mother looked on and her face mirrored the same smile that Maia's had on it. And with that, Joan sidled up next to her husband's stool at the island and put her arm around his shoulders. She learned into him as she said to Maia smiling, "You are your father's daughter, that's for sure." Maia grinned back to her and Arthur shook his head and said, "She might have gotten my quickness, but good thing for her, she got your good looks." Maia rolled her eyes, but she also tossed her hair and did a little America's Next Top Model pose that made her aunt and her parents laugh out loud at her.

"Alright little Miss America's Next Top Model, it's been a long day - say goodnight to your aunt, and then go on up and get ready for bed. We'll be up in a bit to say good night," Joan said to her, still smiling.

Maia hopped down from her spot across from her dad and walked around the island. She kissed her still seated father on the cheek, hugged her mom - who squeezed her back - and then hugged her aunt as she thanked her profusely for everything and for letting her whole family crash her apartment. Her Aunt Caroline smiled, ran her hands through her niece's hair, and told her, "You are always welcome her Mai. Next time let's just make sure your parents know you're coming."

"Yes ma'am," Maia replied, "I'm not about to repeat what happened today. I don't think they'd have nearly as much mercy on me if I did this again." And with that she grinned at her aunt, who half smiled at her and with a raised eyebrow added, "And hopefully it's also because you don't actually want to ditch them."

"Trust me Aunt Caroline, I think I got the runaway child bit out of my system," Maia assured her aunt.

Her whole family chuckled a little and her Aunt Caroline told her parents, "Well you certainly are raising quite the spunky child."

Maia smiled, soaking up the positive family vibes. And then she waved, turned away, and hollered back a goodnight as she made her way back up to her room to get ready for bed.

* * *

After Maia headed up to bed, the adults poured themselves some wine and gathered around the table so that Joan could fill them in on what had gone on between her and Maia.

"She really is something," Caroline said to her sister and Arthur, smiling and secretly thinking to herself that she was glad her daughter wasn't half the handful Maia had been lately.

"That's one way to put it," Arthur mused, raising his glass to Caroline, "The other way to put it might be that she's a total terror - with the evasion skills of a terrorist." He paused and then said, "The trouble is that I still love her to death." He smiled then and shook his head, "And she's still just shy of her 12th birthday. We're definitely in for quite a ride through her teenage years."

"Aw she's not that bad," Joan protested.

Her comment so shocked Arthur and Caroline that they both put their wine down, and Arthur's jaw actually dropped.

"What?" Joan asked, "I love her too." And with that she rolled her eyes and shook her head a little.

"No one doubts your love for her, I think we're just amazed at your forgiveness. I mean, that's never been a huge strength of yours," Caroline said.

Arthur chuckled in agreement, "Trust me, I know all about her slow forgiveness. I've probably spent 30% of our marriage sleeping on the sofa."

Joan glared at her husband and her sister, "Arthur do you ever think that I might not be so fast to forgive you because you actually DO things to make me mad?"

"And yelling at you, accusing you of having an affair and not being a good mother, running away, and throwing her iphone in a stranger's shed didn't make you mad?" Arthur asked - with incredulity.

"Well they made me mad," Joan admitted, "But she apologized. Profusely. And not in an 'I'm so sorry Joan,' way - she meant it."

"I mean it when I say it!" Arthur shot back to her.

"Well she is more persuasive, and has more than just sorry to say," Joan said firmly, but with a little smile. "Okay okay, I forgive her more quickly," she admitted, "but she deserves it though, she's just a kid."

"And she's a lucky kid to have you for her her mom," Arthur said, squeezing his wife's shoulder.

"She's lucky to have both of you," Caroline said looking at her little sister and Arthur, "You're good parents. Not only did neither of you kill her today, it looks like you all came out of this closer than you've been in awhile."

"I hope so," Joan said a little shyly.

"So what happened up there? I'm dying to know," Arthur asked.

"Well you'll have to wait just a bit longer," Joan said as she stood up. Both Caroline and Arthur looked at Joan confused.

"She's getting ready for bed. I'm going up to say goodnight and tuck her in," Joan said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I'll come with you," Arthur said as he too got up. "Be right back," he said to Caroline, "Keep the wine flowing." Caroline smiled at him and he turned away, taking his wife's hand as they headed up to see their daughter.

Joan knocked softly on the door and Maia called out, "Come in!" Everyone was in a better place than the last time they had been in the room together. Maia was in bed, her long hair splayed all over the white pillowcase. She smiled up at her parents, "Hey mom, hey dad."

"Hey," Arthur said. Joan sat down on the edge of the twin bed at Maia's waist. Arthur took the same spot on the opposite side. There wasn't a ton of room, so they were all pretty cozy. "You made today pretty exciting," Arthur said to his daughter, "What say we go for a much more boring day tomorrow?"

Maia smiled at her father and told him, "You read my mind." And with that Arthur leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you kiddo, don't keep making me chase you across state lines to tell you that."

"Dad," Maia said, "I love you too. I'm sorry."

"Sweetheart, you're forgiven. We're in the moving on phase now. So stop worrying. I love you. Your mom loves you. We are happy to be back together," Arthur assured his daughter.

"Thanks," Maia told her father. During the father-daughter exchange, Joan had taken Maia's hand, and she picked it up now and kissed it. "Love you. And now stop feeling bad about today. It's behind us."

Maia squeezed her mother's hand back and assured her, "I won't. The only place I want to go is back home with you."

"Lay it on thick, Mai" Arthur joked, teasing his daughter for how cheesy she was being.

"Stop it dad," she retorted, "It's totally cheesy, but it's true."

Arthur caught Joan's eye and they smiled at each other.

"And now you need to get yourself some sleep okay?" Joan told her daughter.

"Yes mom," Maia said - without any attitude, despite this being a phrase she'd perfected as an attitudinal indictment of her mother in the past. Instead Maia just snuggled down under the covers and turned on her side so she was facing her mother. Joan leaned over and kissed her before wishing her goodnight as she got up.

"Night" Maia said sleepily as Maia turned over onto her stomach.

Joan and Arthur shut out the lights and slipped out of the room, quietly closing the door behind them.

* * *

Back in the kitchen Joan shared what she and Maia had talked about as they all had a little more wine, and some cheese and crackers because somehow that seemed like what they should do if they were going to keep drinking. After Joan finished catching Caroline and Arthur up on what had gone on, the conversation shifted to Ron and Sarah - who were both out of town. Ron had gone on a business trip and taken Sarah with him. They talked about how quickly the girls were growing up and how many big milestones were coming so fast - junior high, and then high school and college.

Arthur wanted to think that all of that was still in the distant future - despite the fact that he was the one who brought it all up while they were at the girls' 6th grade graduation. "Well yes, but 10th grade is PSATs, and that's the beginning of it all," Caroline pointed out, "And really if they don't take the right math in junior high they're behind before they even get to high school."

Joan and Arthur exchanged looks. "I can't believe how fast it's all going to go," Joan said a little wistfully. "At least Arthur's brother's kids will go through it all first so we can watch what they do," she said before adding, "Honestly I hope that Maia wants to go somewhere close by. That way she can have a college experience, but we're only a metro ride away. After these last few days we know how good she is at taking the metro."

"And we can bug her room with a nanny cam so we really know what she's up to," Arthur said, only sort of jokingly.

"Arthur!" both women exclaimed, as Joan slapped him on the arm.

"What?" he asked. "Don't you think you'll want to check up on Sarah?" he asked Caroline.

"Um We will have phones or whatever we'll use to communicate then. I don't think I want to know what she'll be doing in her dorm room all the time. Do you know what goes on in dorm rooms?" she asked her brother-in-law.

"She's right Arthur," Joan agreed, "We don't want to be able to watch or hear any of Maia's intimate experiences."

"If we bug her room and tell her maybe she just won't have any!" Arthur said suddenly distressed to think about that part of Maia's future life.

"Right," Joan said sarcastically, "She'll just go elsewhere and never speak to us again."

"Fine," Arthur agreed, "But I hope she goes somewhere close enough that I can check up on her in person."

* * *

As Arthur and Joan got ready for bed that night, Arthur sat down on the edge of the bed in his boxers and t-shirt. He watched Joan brush her long blonde hair, and in the mirror she caught Arthur watching her. Her eyes crinkled up as she smiled and turned toward her husband. "Creeper," she said to him, but laughed as she sashayed over toward where he was sitting. As she came within an arms length of him he reached out and pulled her toward him. With a little extra, an unexpected umph, he pulled her just off balance enough that she fell toward him. He leaned back so that she was on top of him on the bed. They both laughed a little, and then he kissed her. She kissed him back and it was a long, slow, tender kiss. When she finally pulled back, they both were a little breathless. She rolled over so that they were laying side by side, looking up at the ceiling. Arthur reached toward his wife and took her hand. As his hand clasped hers, she squeezed his a little.

"I love you so much," Arthur said to the ceiling, but really to his wife.

"I know," Joan responded, unsuccessfully holding back a chuckle.

"I know you know, I just wanted to say it out loud," Arthur said back to her.

Joan said nothing in response, and so Arthur continued, "You know what I didn't know until today though?"

Her interest piqued, she took the bait, "What?"

"Just how much Maia has YOU wrapped around her little finger," he said as he turned his head towards Joan.

She didn't turn toward him, but he kept looking at her. He'd loved her since the moment he saw her. She'd always been the most beautiful woman to him. She interrupted his thoughts when she said, "Me? She has YOU wrapped around her finger. Remember how I'M the reason why we had this whole situation today? I aggravate the hell out of her," she verbally tossed back at him.

"Maybe. But you've got a super soft spot for her, that's for sure," Arthur said lovingly.

"Well yes. That's probably true," Joan admitted, turning toward Arthur and smiling, "She's a good kid, even if she is a little rash. "

"She's only just about to be 12. I suppose we shouldn't expect her to be the most level headed," Arthur added.

"The scary thing is that even though it was a rash decision on her part to run, she was very level headed in carrying it out. I mean she knew to ditch her phone so we couldn't trace her. She took a car to the museum, to a taxi, to the metro, to the train station - where she paid in cash. I mean we would have eventually found her, but we probably only are with her now because she called us. For 11/12, honestly just for whatever age, she's good at disappearing," Joan said, still marveling a little at how well her pre-teen daughter executed her little escape today.

"She's our kid. I suppose we should expect she'd be good at this. Maybe we should recruit her" Arthur mused.

"I don't know if that's comforting or terrifying," Joan responded.

They both lay there in silence for a little while. "I'm proud of you Joan," Arthur said earnestly.

"What? Why?" Joan asked, screwing up her face as she was taken by surprise by the direction Arthur had taken the conversation.

"For how you handled Maia tonight. You knew just what she needed," he finished.

"Well thank you," Joan said sincerely. "You did a pretty good job yourself," she added. And with that she sat up. Arthur followed her lead and then kissed her tenderly on the cheek. "You're a great mom. I'm so lucky to be married to you," he whispered in her ear.

"Yes, yes you are," she told him as she grinned before kissing him back. "And you're a great dad," she told him as they came up for air again, "Maia is lucky to have you too."

"We're a pretty good pair, huh?" Arthur asked his wife as he tried to pull her back down onto the bed. But she got up and walked toward the bathroom.

Looking over her shoulder she called back to him, "Yup. We are. You're definitely lucky to have me." And with that she flashed another smile at him before continuing on toward the bathroom. Arthur shook his head at his wife's back before crawling into bed and under the sheets. The women in his life were all definitely quite something.

* * *

_That's the end. At least for this story. I had a lot of fun writing this, so thanks to all of you who followed along and left comments along the way. I'm looking forward to seeing how things shape up for Joan and Arthur in S4 of Covert Affairs. Maybe I'll come back and write something new once we all learn what's up with the Campbells. But for now, it's the end of the story of Joan, Arthur, and Maia. _


	20. Safe & Sound

**Chapter 20: Safe & Sound**

_I really intended for the last chapter to be the last one, but then I forgot to mark the story as completed. So I figured it was a sign that it wasn't quite over. Here's the final chapter for real._

* * *

Maia blinked her eyes as the sunlight beamed in through the window. So much sunlight wasn't common in most Manhattan apartments - even the ones on the Upper East Side, but her aunt and uncle had a penthouse apartment, and so the sun could shine straight into their large windows. Stretching, Maia recalled the previous day and shuddered a little thinking about how things had gone down with her mother that morning, but then smiled as she thought about how the day had ended. Pulling on some slippers, she padded across the hall to the bathroom to shower and get herself ready for the day. Opening up the bag her mother had packed for her, Maia smiled when she pulled out the outfit her mother had selected for her - a sunshine yellow dress - fitted on top, with a flared, a- line skirt that ended just above her knee. Slipping into it and pulling on the matching flats her mother included, Maia twirled a little so that skirt swung around her. Her mom always could make her look good, Maia thought to herself. As angry as her mother must have been as she packed that bag, she'd taken the time to also grab some jewelry to go with the summery outfit she'd already put in the overnight bag. Little, delicate pearl studs and a ribbon tied pearl necklace, where the ribbon was a pale gray that complimented the dress and kept the pearl necklace young enough looking for a girl Maia's age. Maia laughed out loud as she pulled out the jewelry and put it on; despite the fact that her mother probably hated her as she was packing, she still wanted to make sure that Maia put her best foot forward and had a completely put together ensemble.

Bouncing down the steps she found her aunt in the kitchen. "Morning Aunt Caroline," Maia greeted her aunt in a sing song voice.

Grinning over at her niece, Caroline commented, "Someone is in a good mood this morning!"

"Yup!" Maia said as she did a little twirl in the kitchen and then asked her aunt if her parents were up yet.

"I haven't seen them yet," Caroline said as she started the coffee maker, "You want to go check on them and see if they want coffee?"

"I'll go check on them," Maia told her aunt, and before calling back to her as she headed out of the kitchen, "Oh and they'll definitely both have coffee - if they could have IVs of coffee straight into their veins, I'm pretty sure they'd both sign up."

Caroline smiled to herself as she heard Maia run down the hallway and toward the guest room her parents were in. Knocking on the door and listening for any response from her parents, Maia called through the door, "Mom? Dad? You guys up?"

"We are now," Arthur called back at her, "Come on in."

Maia swung the door open and saw that her parents were still in bed. This was a rare sight for her; to her it seemed like her parents barely ever slept. They were always up before her, and they were always up after her. How they did it, she really wasn't sure. So she just giggled a little at the sight of them in bed and looking like they were still sleepy. "How long were you out there before you decided to knock?" Arthur teased her.

"Da-ad," Maia complained as she rolled her eyes, "My spy days are over."

"Good," he and Joan both said as Maia jumped onto the bed between them.

"Aunt Caroline already has the coffee on, you coming soon or are you just going to lounge around in bed all day?" Maia asked her parents as she flashed them a truly happy smile, Neither of them had seen such a genuine smile from Maia in a long time, and they couldn't help but smile back at her.

"We'll be there in a few minutes," Joan told her sweetly, "Can you go tell your aunt that she doesn't need to do anything extravagant for breakfast? Cereal will be fine."

"You know your sister," Arthur commented as he dragged himself out of bed, "She won't be able to do cereal. You two are too much alike - she'd never serve up cereal to guests, even if they're family. & you know you'd be just the same way."

Joan rolled her eyes then, knowing that Arthur was right, and so the eye roll was more for her sister's commitment to being a good hostess, than for her husband's statement.

Maia watched her parents as they had this exchange and got themselves up out of bed. Arthur was the first to notice Maia just sitting there studying her parents. "What are you watching?" he asked her as he walked by her and playfully swatted at her with the decorative pillow that had ended up on the floor sometime in the night.

"Hey!" she cried out, "Don't mess up my hair!"

Arthur chuckled at her, and Joan told her, "Then you better get up and go tell your aunt not to do too much for breakfast. Otherwise I have a feeling your dad is going to start some kind of pillow fight with you."

Maia leapt up then, mostly because Arthur took his wife's hint and brandished the pillow again - in a playfully menacing way. Shrieking Maia ran from the room and back toward the kitchen.

"You're too much," Joan said to her husband as he chased Maia to the door before letting her get away down the hall.

"You gave me the idea," Arthur accused her as he walked back toward her and placed a soft kiss on Joan's cheek.

"Somebody's got to be the brains behind this operation," she teased as she slipped out of her pajamas and into some clothes. Arthur watched her adoringly as she changed. He said nothing at first, and then her statement must have clicked in his head.

"Hey," he exclaimed, "Does that mean that I'm just a puppet?"

Joan turned and gave him a coy smile, "An adorable puppet," she said as she pushed him down onto his back on the bed. Climbing on top of him, she drew him into a long loving kiss and he didn't let her advance go to waste. A few minutes later, when she came up for air, Joan saw the clock. "Shoot," she said to her husband, "We better get ourselves out there soon before Maia comes back and finds us like this." And with that she jumped up and straightened out her clothes again, and reached up to fix her hair.

"Maybe it wouldn't be so bad," Arthur said suggestively enough to get her to turn around and look at him curiously. "I mean then she'd know we really are in love," he told his wife, who just rolled her eyes at him.

"I don't think that's the way we want to show our daughter that," Joan told him. She tried to be serious when she said it, but she couldn't help but let a smile play across her lips. "Come on," she then said as she pulled him off the bed, "Get yourself together so we can go join our wayward daughter for breakfast."

Sighing Arthur agreed and in a few minutes the two of them were headed down to the kitchen.

* * *

Following a lovely breakfast that more resembled a buffet than something a family would sit down to in the morning, Arthur, Joan, and Maia packed up their things so that they could head back down to DC. Caroline had told them they were welcome to stay for the weekend, but they'd declined. Both Arthur and Joan had just run out of work the day before, and so they had some loose ends they needed to get back to and tie up before the new week began. Maia blushed and looked down at her feet when her parents told her aunt that. Joan saw that Maia was embarrassed, and she gently reached out gave Maia's shoulder a little reassuring squeeze.

A few minutes later the family of three was in the car and headed back down to DC. They stopped for a gas and a bathroom break at one of the rest stops on the Jersey Turnpike, and as they piled back in the car Joan slid into the backseat with her daughter. "You're making me into a chauffeur?" Arthur had complained when she did it, despite the fact that he thought it was a really uncharacteristically sweet move on Joan's part.

"Yup," she responded. "Drive your daughter and me home," she commanded, which got her a head shake from Arthur.

"What are you doing back here mom?" Maia had asked her mother, shooting her a strange look.

Joan just smiled at her daughter and told her, "I just wanted to be close to you."

Maia rolled her eyes and pretended to be way too cool for this idea, but in actuality she was touched and pretty pleased. Joan intuited as much as she scooted herself into the middle seat so she could get her arm around her daughter. "Mo-om," Maia protested, "You're being super weird," but in the same moment as she was saying it, Maia had leaned her head against her mother and let herself get comfortable.

Arthur and Joan caught each other's eyes through the rearview mirror. They smiled at each other. Yesterday was definitely behind them, and hopefully so were all of the issues that had led up to yesterday's big events. Maia's eyes fluttered with sleep. She'd been so energetic that morning, but snuggling into her mother as they sat together in back seat, Maia felt sleepy again. Maybe it was because she felt safe and secure with her parents again. Maybe it was because all the adrenaline of the day before had really taken more of a toll on her than she thought. She didn't know, but she let herself take advantage of this moment with her mother, and in a few minutes she'd fallen sound asleep with her head on her mother's chest. Joan watched her daughter sleep contentedly. Looking out the window, Joan stroked Maia's hair. She was glad to have her little girl back, and she really hoped that it would stay nice like this for awhile. They all deserved that Joan thought.


End file.
